Surgical Success

Last week, my five year old Noisykids had surgery to correct a lazy eye. It appears that it was a success, and now we expect him to be a more productive and efficient in all that he does.

The surgery is rather fascinating, as certain muscles that control eye movement are repositioned to realign the direction the eyes are pointed. The eyeball has several muscles that originate in the back of the eye socket, and then attach to the side of the eyeball. When one muscle contracts, or pulls, the eye moves in that direction. The muscles can work together to make the eye roll around in its socket – one of the things my children learn to do at an early age whenever I talk to them.

Another way to picture the eye muscles is to imagine the eyeball is suspended in a series of slings, which are the muscles, and tension on any sling or muscle will cause the eye to turn.
So the surgeon either shortens or lengthens the muscle so that the eye points straight.

All of this brings up another part of the anatomy that is sometimes associated with the word lazy: the lazy backside. While I have no evidence that the backside has a series of muscles that move it like the eyeball, there must be some sort of ‘sling’ involved. I offer the following quote as proof. It was something my father used to say to my brothers (I was always the good boy) when they were being lazy:

"If you don’t get over here and [Insert Chore Here] right this minute, you’re going to end up with your backside in a sling"

That usually motivated my brothers. I also have to say that my Father really did say 'backside.' He had much better control over his speech than this son.

Thank you for your prayers for my little Noisykid.

Please pray for my wife who will have surgery next week.

TICKETS ON SALE ONLY AT THE GIFT SHOP:

Mr. Hedgehog.

Probe the mind of a Rubber Chicken!

Use of the observation Deck is an additional charge.

As beautiful from aft as from astern!

Have a Duck for Dinner!

You catch it or kill it,

I stew it or grill it!

Happy Birthday, Father Brother of Mine!

Today is the birthday of one of my older brothers, Fr. Brotherofdadwithnoisykids. He is a parish priest in Virginia.







It is a tremendous blessing for my wife and children and I to have a priest in the family. We know that he is praying for us, and our sons have the opportunity to see a priest up close and to have a better understanding of the vocation to the priesthood.







Father gets the opportunity to see original sin in progress, as my children go through the ordinary events of the day. He also gets to see just how much his nieces and nephews resemble his brother. I have to mention, though, that I was always the quiet and introspective child, while HE was referred to as the wildman. It is funny how things have ended up...


I am confident we give him a lot of inspiration for sermons.

He introduced me to the Divine Office....look where it has led me:

Please pray for all priests, especially for my brother on his birthday. And please pray for more men to heed the call to serve God at the altar. Let's add a few more statues to this collection:

Thoughts on Veterans' Day

Today I pray for all the Veterans, especially those who died in the service of our country.

I am also a Veteran. For 13 years, 9 as a reservist and 4 on active duty, I 'wore the Devil's braids,' as Kipling referred to it in one of his stories(On Greenhow Hill).

Some of the service and rank insignia are pictured above, along with my old flight jacket. The flight suit is long gone - probably wouldn't fit around my belly - and the camouflage uniforms were stripped of rank and handed on to my children and nephews. The flying boots are still mine as well.

There is also a braid, or ribbon, which I inexplicably received the week after I separated from the Air Force. I found out it was for service, for a job well done. It seems kind of inappropriate, since my work was to show up every day, and take care of whatever patients I had as my assignment. That could be a premature baby born of some dependent overseas, or an active duty marine, or a retiree, or an esteemed member of the San Antonio 'gun and knife club.' All I did was take care of them. For me, the biggest danger was negotiating traffic to and from work.

It seems like something unworthy of an award, especially seeing what our troops are experiencing in the Middle East, and reading the accounts of much older veterans who served in WW I, WW II, Korea, and Viet Nam. All they did was get up every day and do their assigned duty, just like I did - only some of them did not come back.

31 Years ago today....

On November 10, 1975, The S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald sank with all hands in Lake
Superior.

In Michigan, this song was so prevalent as I was growing up there that it
seemed to be a requirement that one know the lyrics before getting a
driver's license.

From what I have read, the Great Lakes pose a challenge to sailors because a
ship can't just go around some of these storms. If they did, they would run
out of Lake.

Gordon Lightfoot wrote and sang this ballad:

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called 'Gitche Gumee'
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty.
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early.

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
With a crew and good captain well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ship's bell rang
Could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too,
T'was the witch of November come stealin'.
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the Gales of November came slashin'.
When afternoon came it was freezin' rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind.

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin'.
Fellas, it's too rough to feed ya.
At Seven P.M. a main hatchway caved in, he said
Fellas, it's been good t'know ya
The captain wired in he had water comin' in
And the good ship and crew was in peril.
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searches all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they'd put fifteen more miles behind her.
They might have split up or they might have capsized;
May have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion.
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams;
The islands and bays are for sportsmen.
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her,
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the Gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral.
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call 'Gitche Gumee'.
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early!

There is another version of the song by a country/western singer where he
reads the names of the crewmen, with each name followed by the ringing of a
bell. It is a rather somber end to the song.

Please remember to pray for the repose of all the souls of the Faithful
Departed on this Friday.

I removed the ad that was here from microsoft. I am sorry these keep getting added to my posts that I e-mail to blogger

Encouraging Words

Whenever I think the challenges of life are getting overwhelming, I am reminded of a quote from the play A Man for All Seasons by Robert Bolt. The play is about St. Thomas More and the events surrounding his fall from a place of influence in the court of Henry VIII and his subsequent martyrdom.

I do not know if the words are St. Thomas More's, or if Robert Bolt wrote them. From the little reading of St. Thomas that I have done, they sound like they are his own. I don't think Mr. Bolt would have written them - I am not really fond of some of his works.

Anyway, here is the quote:

God made the angels to show Him splendour – as He made the animals for innocence and plants for their simplicity.

But Man He made to serve Him wittily, in the tangle of his mind! If He suffers us to fall to such a case that there is no escaping, then we may stand to our tackle as best we can, and yes…then we may clamour like champions…if we have the spittle for it.

And no doubt it delights God to see splendour where he only looked for complexity.

But it’s God’s part, not our own, to bring ourselves to that extremity!

Our natural business lies in escaping….

I think that this means that there are times that God really wants to see us struggle, to use the gifts that he gave us, to accomplish whatever task He sets in front of us. He wants to see 'splendour' from us in all of our actions and thoughts.

My American English spell checker is going nuts with the English spelling of some of these words.

Have a Fabulous Freaky Friday.
No meat today. It's the only day I crave meat.

Twenty years Ago This Month...

..I met this wonderful nun in Washington, D.C. My face is obliterated not to protect my privacy as much as it is for modesty. I am extremely handsome, in all humility, and women find me irresistable. It is a cross I must bear. This was also during my phase of life when I dyed my hair black. But the key person in the picture is Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

I had just been accepted to medical school, and I asked Mother Theresa to pray for me. She said she would, and invited me to Calcutta.

I never got to Calcutta. My spiritual advisor at the time pointed out that there may be a greater physical poverty in India, but that my 'Calcutta' may be to stay in a place with a greater amount of spiritual poverty; namely, the good old U.S. of A. (especially after yesterday's election results).

Perhaps one of the girls will one day join her order, or one of the boys will help her order out. They have a house in Dallas, and we plan on going some time and helping them. Time is so short these days.

New in the Gift Shop

In a year where someone decided to trash the World's biggest holiday with some anti-Halloween Blog, we are forced to start the Christmas Season a little early here at the Gift Shop. We are slashing through turkeys to give you this unique Non-denominational Nativity Scene:

What everyone wants this Holiday Season!!

What could inspire more thoughts of the Religious and Devout than a blessed trinity of singers composed of Two Penguins and a Polar Bear?



You will be drawn to thoughts of the divine as the polar bear and penguins regale you with their own versions of the classic Christmas songs, such as 'Rockin' around the Christmas Tree' and many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Due to poor Halloween Sales, we are reducing prices on all our stock, passing the savings on to you, and hoping to stay in business 'til the end of the year. Three thousand of these units are in stock, so you better HURRY!

It's Potty Time!

I sent a version of this yesterday via e-mail, but it never arrived. With a puff of electrons, it was gone.

The last several weeks have been relentlessly wearing on the dadwithnoisykids family.

Both professional and personal challenges have marched up to us, growing larger and more insurmountable as they come closer. Some have been accomplished, others seem to have just walked over us.

And through it all, we have been battling a cold which seems to grip my wife and me like a terrier, not letting go for anything. I can only imagine this is what is feels like after having tonsils removed. It hurts to swallow, to talk, to try to yell.

Only drooling feels okay.

So, in the midst of all this, some member of the family decided it was time the three year old noisykid learned to 'potty train.'

Three year old BOY noisykid. The one who inspired the pseudonym 'dadwithnoisykids' during a temper tantrum at Mass that started after the first reading and ended with the recessional hymn. Factor in a 20 minute minimum homily. (Father's homilies are quite long - but very good. You can listen to them here.)

Actually, potty training is rather easy. All it takes is twenty pairs of pants, twenty pairs of underpants, twenty pairs of socks, and as many pairs of shoes or sandals you can scrounge from the 'old shoe' box. Have some task or reading material available while you sit and wait for results. Have someone watch the child all the time; the first moment he gets a far-away look in his eyes, sweep him up and sit him on the throne.

Have a plumbers helper available after he runs a roll of toilet paper down the drain.

Buy enough 'bribe' or 'reward' candy/toys to give when success eventually occurs. Prizes are given in proportion to the magnitude of the results, if you know what I mean.

Today it occurred to me one reason why this November has been one big kick in the rear end: This is the month we pray for the repose of the souls in Purgatory. So God has given me a tremendous gift - one which I could have been offering up for the Poor Souls in Purgatory. It almost makes me cry when I think of how I could have turned this annoying cold into a Divine Gift. So I have started anew today, trying to remember the poor souls any time I don't feel well.

But seriously....
Please remember my five year old son who will undergo surgery tomorrow. Thank you and God bless you.

There are other things happening which are worth blogging about, but so often I have been faced with the choice of blogging or sleeping. Sleeping has been winning out lately, so for the three of you who regularly read this, please accept my apologies and look for more interesting reading in the future.

It's Potty Time!

The past few weeks have been relentlessly wearing. Our whole family has
been battling a bad cold, with Mom and I being the last ones to catch it.
Right now I imagine my throat feels like that of someone who had their
tonsils removed.

It feels better to drool.....

Sooooo, on top of multiple personal and professional hurdles which seem to
grow the closer they are to us, somebody or somebodies decided to add one
more thing to the 'personal' list.

The three year old boy is potty training.

This is the child, by the way, who gave me the idea of calling myself
'dadwithnoisykids,' after one extremely long temper tantrum during Mass
which lasted from the first reading until after praying to Saint Michael
right before the recessional hymn.

Potty training for us is actually quite simple. All you need are 20 pairs
of clean underwear, 20 pairs of clean pants, 20 pairs of socks, several
pairs of shoes, and enough 'bribe' or 'reward' candy necessary to keep him
on the throne until something happens.

Rewards are given in proportion to the results documented. Enough said.

For the few of you who read this, please remember my 5 year old son who will
have eye muscle surgery on Wednesday. He received part of the Anointing of
the Sick - he refused the chrism oil.

Also remember my wife who will need surgery in a few weeks.

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Special Morning Offering Prayers When I am Sick

Three prayers I say in the morning when I am sick:

Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
Through whom God's Love
commits me here
Ever this day
Be at my side
To light,
to guard,
to rule,
and to guide.

Oh Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer you all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day
For all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart,
In union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world,
For all the intentions of the Holy Father,
For the conversion of sinners, the salvation of souls, and in thanksgiving for all my gifts.

Heavenly Father, knowing as You do that I am sick, and that my first thought when I woke up was 'how soon can I go back to bed,' I humbly beseech You to hasten the day to that time when I can once again lay my head against the pillow, drink quarts of hot tea with too much sugar, have a gallon of orange juice all to myself, and try to eat a little.
You know that when I finally pass out, neglecting my daily Rosary, Night Prayers, and an act of contrition, that I do so out of sloth, and not because it really hurts too much. Forgive me.
You also know that I do not work well with others when I do not feel well, so I humbly beseech you to keep all those difficult people away from me, until that time when I can treat them in a more charitable manner.

SILLIEST QUOTE HEARD IN A WHILE

"I am doing everything in my power to make sure my name dies out."

This was said to one of my sisters-in-law by a woman who objected to our having so many children.

My sister-in-law pointed out that there are some countries where the native population is in decline.

She told the author of this quote that the dadwithnoisykids family was "just making sure that the family name does not die out."

Of course, Lord, if you call them ALL to a consecrated celibate life, I will gladly accept your will!

A Curious Picture of Pope St. Leo the Great

This has been a busy week, with calls, illnesses, canceled surgery, and lying in bed at home praying for a speedy recovery from the common cold.

During a moment of lucidity, I came across the picture below of Pope St. Leo the Great. Look at the man in left center, bowing to the Pope. What is that thing on his head?

Granted the copy/scan/upload has taken some of the details from it, but I thought(and so did the members of my family) it looked like a rubber chicken on the man's head. On further inspection, it appears as if Pope St. Leo the Great as well as the angel behind him are staring at it as well. Perhaps their conversation would go something like this:

Angel: "Leo, Leo, what is that thing on that guy's head?"

Leo: "It looks like a rubber chicken."

Angel: "That is impossible. Rubber will not be invented for centuries."

Leo: "Then perhaps it is a REAL chicken."

Angel: "Don't trust anyone with a chicken, real or rubber, on his head, Leo."

It is probably a dragon of some sort, but for someone feeling under the weather, it gave me a few minutes of mirth.

Prayer of Ingratitude, Part 2

Thank you, Lord for ruining my plans
That took so long to set
But I will continue on my way
I haven't quit just yet

We scheduled, cancelled, begged and prayed
Even did a little pleading
But you sweetly stopped us in our tracks
And gave us what we're needing

I'll never know why you did this, Lord
But I know one thing is true
The things I want pale before
What I need and get from You

Recommended Reading For Anyone

"A great gift for Christmas, or even better, Advent, since it begins with the beginning of the liturgical year. Something we wish we could carry in the gift shop"

Mr. Moose








DIVINE INTIMACY: Meditations on the Interior Life for every day of the Liturgical Year
By
Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalene, OCD


This is an excellent book for daily spiritual reading and growth. I have had it for several years, and made a habit of noting the date when I read that particular chapter. What I have ended up with is a record of where I started and, unfortunately, stopped reading this book as part of my spiritual growth. I hope that one day I will fill each page with dates indicating that each page is complete.

The book is set up for an older liturgical calendar than the one we presently use (the book was completed in the 1960's), so the Mass readings do not always correspond to ours. Nevertheless, it is still worth it. Each day's readings start with a prayer to put ourselves in the presence of God. The next section consists of a meditation in two parts. The final section is a colloquy, or prayer, which includes a resolution to improve one’s spiritual life in some manner.

Here is part of one of the resolutions, which I find to be a good passage to meditate upon, especially when I find my attempts at prayer or meditation to be interrupted by some task that needs my attention:

"O Jesus, grant that like You I may live in continued union with God and at the same time give myself to my neighbor. May I lead a life of continual recollection, prayer, and contemplation, yet a life wholly devoted to service of others."

In your charity of prayers, please remember my wife who will undergo a minor procedure on the Feast of All Saints. Thank you.


Here is a link to view the book for sale. DISCLOSURE: I do not endorse any company nor do I receive any reimbursement for including this on my blog

Scorpions Hold Protest, Concert Breaks Out

Protesting scorpions hold a sit-in on a box of Honey Nut Cheerios to protest the 'scorpiophagia' which they witnessed on the internet last night.









Violence erupted yesterday after the scorpions witnessed a brutal act of scorpiophagia, or scorpion eating, which they found on the internet last night. There were reports of riots in North Texas at this time. For a while, internet access was down at this location, so that is why this story is being sent late. Fortunately, the rumors of riots were incorrect.

“It is not enough that you want to tread on our defenseless bodies. Now you want to eat us.” This was the terse statement of the organization SAINT - Scorpions and Insects of North Texas – that was released shortly after 10 p.m. Central Standard Time.

The hedgehogs could not be reached for comment. They are attending a conference in Austin this weekend titled, ‘Living with Arthropods – Fulfilling the Dream.’






Comments from the crowd:


"I am so angry to hear that I was not invited to attend the conference with my colleagues! I promise that hedgehogs will roll! I am going to go and write a memorandum! A meeting will be scheduled!"










The scorpions allege that the video shows a man known as David Letterman eating a combination of cucumber slice and scorpion, along with some other unidentified substances. See the disgusting clip here.






A rabbit at the sit-in was heard to say that the scorpions have a point. "I wouldn't want to see someone eat rabbit stew. We have to see this incident from their perspective."













After a few shouted slogans, the scorpions were asked to sing a few songs. What followed was an hour of crowd-pleasing favorites, sung in Barber Shop Quartet style. A collection was taken at the end of the impromptu concert, and the crowd dispersed peacefully.

"I haven't heard such a good rendition of 'Free Bird' since I attended a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in the 1970's," said Miss Pig, "tell my fans that I will be making another blog appearance later this week!"

Miss Pig has collaborated with Mr. Dadwithnoisykids on several occasions, especially when the subject has been odd things that happen at Mass. See them here and here.




























.

OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1845 ON OCTOBER 27 2006

SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD SOUTH OF COUNTY LINE ROAD IN CEDAR HILL TEXAS USA

WEATHER PARTLY CLOUDY WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF 5 MILES AND 62 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE SIXTY ONE PAPA ALSO KNOWN AS BIG BLUE MIRACLE 15 PASSENGER VAN WITH V-10 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

THREE PASSENGERS ON BOARD. ALL PASSENGERS WERE WEARING SAFETY RESTRAINTS

SPEED 35 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED BIRD DIVING AT WINDOW AND PULLING UP AT APPROXIMATELY 2 FEET FROM FRONT WINDSHIELD

BIRD WAS NOT IDENTIFIED

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO TRAFFIC FLOW AND CLOSE PROXIMITY OF BIRD

DRIVER INDICATES THAT BIRD STRUCK WINDSHIELD LIGHTLY AND FLEW OUT OF SIGHT

NO APPARENT HARM TO BIRD

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

UPON COMPLETION OF MISSION NOTED NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING VANS

THIS IS THE SECOND BIRD STRIKE FOR THE BIG BLUE MIRACLE

THERE WERE 5 REPORTED BIRD STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

NO TRICK OR TREATING HERE

There will be no 'trick or treat' at our house on 'Halloween.'

We no longer participate in Halloween for various reasons. I say participate because it is no longer a celebration of anything. What I think it has become is something far more sinister.

When I was a little boy, Halloween was a day to dress up in some kind of costume, go out into the neighborhood, and collect a lot of candy. The costumes were amateur, being thrown together at the last minute. This is how it was, and in time I grew to be too mature to dress up and say 'trick or treat' at the neighborhood houses. The late comedian Erma Bombeck had made a list of criteria for when you are too old to trick or treat, and I had satified the majority of them. God bless her, and may God have mercy on her soul.

Then in the nineties, I started taking my own kids out on Halloween. Things had changed, as a lot of the 'hero' costumes seemed to have been replaced by evil creatures for the boys, and scandalous women outfits for the girls. I should have had some idea of the change, as I recall a sermon I heard when I was twenty; one of those sermons where the priest asks for audience participation:

Father: "What did you dress up as for Halloween?"
Girl: "A nurse."
Boy #1: "A fireman."
Boy #2: "A melting face."

I don't think Father ever polled the congegration again.

Anyways, Halloween became less of a 'so what are you, young man?' to a long line of corpses, ghosts, devils, and other assorted sinister creatures streaming past our front door. And we would take our children out among this.

Trick or treating ended the year I took four or five of the oldest children out, only to have them freeze at a front step of a neighbor's house because the person who answered the door was dressed as a devil. When we turned to leave(without candy) we saw more evil creatures coming up the sidewalk behind us. The noisykids panicked, grabbing my legs, and started screaming. I swore I would never go out trick or treating again.

While we still live in a neighborhood, we tried to be good neighbors and continued to hand out candy. Even that got to be too much, as the ghoulish things that came to our door were getting worse every year. A lot o our neighbors really went overboard, with morbid displays of cemeteries, gravestones, and other symbols of death littering the front yard. Some even had soundtracks that included such noises as moans, groans, and screams.

I got the impression that Halloween has become a way to pre-condition people to what hell must be like. Why else would death, or better yet, a culture of death, be promoted so strongly? I get the impression that after living in such a culture of death, hell would be just another step along the journey. And that leads to the final reason we do not participate in Halloween festivities.

We are Catholic, and we are here to celebrate the culture of life. On November 1, we celebrate the Feast of All Saints. That is a tremendous holiday; it is even a holy day of obligation. On that day we thank God for the gift of His love and graces poured out upon the world, and in particular we celebrate the lives of the men and women who said 'yes' to God and served Him on earth. The closest we get to the dead is on November 2, when we pray for the repose of the souls of the faithful departed. This is not some morbid activity, but rather an act of love for those in Purgatory who may benefit from our prayers. It is also an act of hope, since we pray for the dead knowing that thay can do the same for us when they reach heaven, and knowing that those we leave behind will pray for us after we are dead.






There is one thing associated with this time of year that is good. Here is a picture of it:



An orange-colored snowball. A snowball is a coconut-covered layer of marshmallow, surrounding a chocolate cake with a creamy center. Totally organic and nutritious. You can almost taste it, just brimming with goodness!

They make GREEN ones around St. Patrick's Day!

If you do show up at this blog to trick or treat, we will remember you when we pray our daily Rosary.

New Uses for Oto-Ophthalmoscope

Oops.

This should have been posted there, instead.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea big huge gigantic culpa.

History ostendo , identidem , quam vis cuspis sicco humanus insania.

Check Out What's Now Hot in the Gift Shop:

New gum sold exclusively at the recently renovated Gift Shop:

CHICLETS OF DIVINE MERCY

For those who need a quick burst of Mercy but don't have the time for the whole Chaplet of Divine Mercy.

Not strictly for sale, but these can be had for a donation to the Gift Shop Expansion Fund.

Chiclets! Of Divine Mercy.

Only one color - Royal Purple.

TRY THEM TODAY!

Check out our other item.

Please Disinfect Your Browser After Visiting Today

We are currently experiencing a virus which appears to be the common cold kind of virus. To confirm this, we took one of the hedgehogs into the Scanning Electron Microscope(SEM). For those of you who are not technically savvy, an electron microscope allows scientists to see things the uneducated cannot see. Electrons are used, too.

Please excuse the poor quality of the picture.




What we see closest to the nose of this hedgehog is the common rhinovirus which we often see with the common cold.

The things that look like hippopotamussesses are believed to be benign hipaa viruses which are responsible for ensuring the privacy of viruses.

The thing to the left is either a long chain of DNA(DeoxyriboNucleic Acid) or a Rosariovirus, which is a highly contagious conduit of grace.

Some viruses are brutally cannabilistic, as we see in this other scan from the same hedgehog:

It appears to be a triceratopsovirus, a canisvirus, and a snoopiovirus eating an ursavirus on a tiled floor. Thanks to my five year old noisykid for noticing this.

Historical Picture of Scorpion Stalking Duck

Here is a picture of the Scorpion Stalking the Duck. This is an actual photograph I took one day in San Antonio.

The whole incident was so disturbing, that I never forgot it, and the phrase was all I could think of when looking for a name for this blog.



One day, if I find all the pictures, I will put together the series of photographs. This photo was copied from a lecture I gave several years ago.


Here is a picture of a smaller scorpion on the outside wall of our old house in San Antonio:





About 1.5 inch body. One day this one will grow up to stalk ducks, too.

If I had a Mercedes Benz....

It would be the earth green colored one.

A Joke...

...which answers a question someone posed on my blog comments.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were traveling by train across the English
countryside. As they passed a field of grazing sheep, Watson remarked,
"there must be thousands of sheep there!"

Holmes replied, "there are exactly three thousand, four hundred and
seventeen sheep."

Watson looked upon Holmes with skepticism. "How did you come up with that
number? Did you count each sheep, one by one?"

"Of course not, my dear Watson. I simply counted all their legs and divided
the number I got by four."

Some of the quotation marks may come out goofy-looking when I send this via
e-mail, but the answer to the question lies in the joke. It will require
the person who asked the question to do a little work to get the answer.

Garage Door Blues

Enjoy the view we have of the cows on the property next to us.











I was hoping to do another installment of weird occurences that I have experienced, complete with more pictures of the pink pig, but something came up - literally.

One of the noisykids decided to hitch a ride on the garage door as the automatic door opener activated. No harm to him, but he knocked it off the track. I spent a bit of time with the four oldest boy noisykids putting the garage door back on track. The whole time I prayed my fingers would remain on my hands.

The perpetrator was contrite, sort of, as he grinned at me as he apologized.


Earlier that day.....

As I left work, I ran into a colleague of mine, who gleefully showed me something he had bought. To me, it looked like a flashlight on his keychain, only it had 'panic' written on in red letters.

"You bought a panic button?" I asked.

"No, I bought a Mercedes Benz!"

Only then did I realize the thing had the familiar symbol associated with Mercedes Benz automobiles.

"I know you must think it's sinful to buy a nice car like that," he said.

"Well, I know I would never do it. The cost of that car could put a kid through college." You can tell where my thoughts have been lately.

As I rode the elevator down to the lobby, I reflected briefly on the idea of having a car like that. It would be nice. But I also knew my colleague was single. He did not have a wonderful wife and children to come home to; no one would ever pull his garage door off the track. I thought it then, and I still say it, as I scrub grease off my hands and tend to the scratches all over my forearms: I would rather have my wife and children than any nice car.





Even a Lamborghini.