Blog Update

While St. Simeon Stylites the Younger(died today in 597 A.D.) hangs out on top of his column, contemplating the Blessed Mother holding the Infant Jesus, let us contemplate the changes in the blog:



First, the picture of the Noisykid Family, circa 1998('Couple ignoring population crisis') has been moved to the side bar.



In its place at the top of the blog column, we have installed a 'Feto-meter.' A Feto-meter is a widget that will chronicle the progress of the next Noisykid due in January, 2009. Once we know the gender of the 2009 Model, we shall change the border from green to blue - or pink.



I have added a memorial to my son Theodore on the sidebar. If you click on the picture, you will be directed to all the blog entries which pertain to Theodore. The picture, by the way, was taken on his 15th birthday, November 25, 2007. This reminds me of a 'Theodore' story:



Theodore always liked to keep a list of things he wanted, and he would make extensive lists of toys he wanted for whatever the next holiday was. These lists consisted of letters in no particular order except for the letters designating aircraft - for example, a string of nonsense letters would suddenly be punctuated by 'F-16,' or 'IL-2,' 'U-2,' or 'SR-71.' Of course, he would come up and say 'toys, airplanes, toys, tanks, toys, boat, toys, jet, toys aircraft carrier,' and so on. On his last birthday, after opening his last gift, he reached down under the couch and pulled out a list and started by saying 'Christmas' before launching into a recital of everything he wanted for Christmas.



Finally, this blogger from across the pond maxed out her space for pictures - all 1024 megabytes of it! So she has started a new blog, sort of a 'part 2' blog and requested a new link. I have complied. Just for some perspective, I have only used 4% of my space for pictures.



Good night, and more videos of piano playing Noisykids next week.

Late Thanksgiving Day Wishes

The Scorpions wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, but they were late.



They are especially thankful for a working microwave oven, so that they can make a delicacy they like to call Gummi Bear Soup:



Recipe:



Gummi Bears, preferably genuine Haribo - accept no substitute!
Microwave-safe plate

1. Place Gummi Bears strategically around the edge of the plate.






































2. Be creative with a pattern of Gummi Bears on the inside of the plate.

3. Microwave on HIGH for 15 to 45 seconds, or until all gummi bears are melted and fused.


4. Cool for 1 minute.



5. Serve and enjoy!






















Happy Holidays, from the Scorpions to Y'ALL!!!


More recipes available at the Gift Shop!

Scorpions Hold Protest, Concert Breaks Out

Protesting scorpions hold a sit-in on a box of Honey Nut Cheerios to protest the 'scorpiophagia' which they witnessed on the internet last night.









Violence erupted yesterday after the scorpions witnessed a brutal act of scorpiophagia, or scorpion eating, which they found on the internet last night. There were reports of riots in North Texas at this time. For a while, internet access was down at this location, so that is why this story is being sent late. Fortunately, the rumors of riots were incorrect.

“It is not enough that you want to tread on our defenseless bodies. Now you want to eat us.” This was the terse statement of the organization SAINT - Scorpions and Insects of North Texas – that was released shortly after 10 p.m. Central Standard Time.

The hedgehogs could not be reached for comment. They are attending a conference in Austin this weekend titled, ‘Living with Arthropods – Fulfilling the Dream.’






Comments from the crowd:


"I am so angry to hear that I was not invited to attend the conference with my colleagues! I promise that hedgehogs will roll! I am going to go and write a memorandum! A meeting will be scheduled!"










The scorpions allege that the video shows a man known as David Letterman eating a combination of cucumber slice and scorpion, along with some other unidentified substances. See the disgusting clip here.






A rabbit at the sit-in was heard to say that the scorpions have a point. "I wouldn't want to see someone eat rabbit stew. We have to see this incident from their perspective."













After a few shouted slogans, the scorpions were asked to sing a few songs. What followed was an hour of crowd-pleasing favorites, sung in Barber Shop Quartet style. A collection was taken at the end of the impromptu concert, and the crowd dispersed peacefully.

"I haven't heard such a good rendition of 'Free Bird' since I attended a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in the 1970's," said Miss Pig, "tell my fans that I will be making another blog appearance later this week!"

Miss Pig has collaborated with Mr. Dadwithnoisykids on several occasions, especially when the subject has been odd things that happen at Mass. See them here and here.




























.

Historical Picture of Scorpion Stalking Duck

Here is a picture of the Scorpion Stalking the Duck. This is an actual photograph I took one day in San Antonio.

The whole incident was so disturbing, that I never forgot it, and the phrase was all I could think of when looking for a name for this blog.



One day, if I find all the pictures, I will put together the series of photographs. This photo was copied from a lecture I gave several years ago.


Here is a picture of a smaller scorpion on the outside wall of our old house in San Antonio:





About 1.5 inch body. One day this one will grow up to stalk ducks, too.

Scorpion-Hedgehog controversy heats up - literally

I had to send this via my cell phone PDA because someone is using the computer to Christmas shop.

Dear Readers:

Below are two notes sent to me by the parties involved in last week's scuffle during evening prayers:

Dear Mr. Dadwithnoisykids:

We scorpions are intellectuals, and while reading poetry to the noisykids to lullabize them to sleep, we discovered this note, which reflects the true opinion of hedgehogs through the ages:

You spotted snakes with double tongue,
Thorny hedge-hogs, be not seen;
Newts, and blind-worms, do no wrong;
Come not near our fairy queen.

From Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream

It is obvious hedgehogs have always been nuisances.

Your friend,

Mr. Scorpion

Mr. Hedgehog replies:

Dear Mr. Dadwithnoisykids:
Thank you for the opportunity to reply to Mr. Scorpion's letter. I am pleased to see that Mr. Scorpion has found my favorite reference to hedgehogs in one of my favorite Shakespeare comedies. What amazes me more is that Mr. Scorpion can read.

Here are two famous quotes regarding hedgehogs which indicate the esteem that we hedgehogs receive:

The fox knows many things - the hedgehog one big one.

From Archilochus

and....

Sir Isaiah Berlin's commentary on Archilochus:

There exists a great chasm between those, on the one side, who relate everything to a single central vision...and, on the other side, those who pursue many ends, often unrelated and even contradictory...the first kind of intellectual and artistic personality belongs to the hedgehogs, the second to the foxes.

Intellectual and artistic personality are synonymous with hedgehog.

With warmest regards,

Mr. Hedgehog

SCORPION VIOLENT REACTION TO BREVIARY

Religious Intolerance Cuts Both Ways?

Violence erupted earlier this week in North Texas after a hedgehog was overheard reading from a Catholic breviary, or holy book of prayers. Apparently, a scorpion took offense to one of the Bible readings that are part of the Divine Office. The Divine Office is the group of prayers said daily by priests as part of their religious vows. While Catholics who are not priests or nuns - referred to as 'lay' persons in the Church hierarchy - are not required to read the Divine Office, many choose to do so as part of their personal prayer.





A Mr. Hedgehog was reading prayers aloud when a passing scorpion took offense.








Mr. Hedgehog - file photo.




"I was reading evening prayers, and read from the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 10, Verse 19, which starts with,

'Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing shall hurt you.'

"The next thing I know, some scorpion is trying to sting me and push me off the book. I will have you know that we hedgehogs do not take too kindly to such behavior, and thankfully my prickles protected me from his stinger."

Violence spread as more scorpions heard of the species intolerance read aloud by the hedgehog.



"If it were a duck, or a hedgehog that Luke had written about, I assure you the words would have been changed to keep from exhibiting xenophobic tendencies," said Mr. Scorpion, a spokesman for the Scorpion And Insects of North Texas(SAINT) office. "We have studied the gospels, and have found them to be a literary work resplendent with the glorious interaction of God and Scorpion. Jesus even mentions in one of the gospels how it is far more desirable to receive a gift scorpion instead of a raw egg."











Mr. Scorpion - file photo.



"Mr. Scorpion is right," said a department chairman of a theology department of a Catholic University where the one-act play, The Elbow Soliloquies, has been playing to packed audiences for the past several years. "Luke is so passe. We need to get rid of this outdated concept of good and evil. We need to live and let live. Like so much else in the church, its teachings are old-fashioned, especially as we are growing in our understanding of the universe. Scorpions are good creatures; they are much more in tune with the environment and the natural rhythm of the earth than we are.

"We all could become fully and better human beings if we channeled our inner scorpion," said this famous theologian.

Meanwhile in North Texas, a group of scorpions vandalized the gift shop, overturning the basin that collects the water that some believe is miraculously flowing from a 15-passenger van owned by a Mr. Dadwithnoisykids. The curator of the gift shop, one Mr. Moose, was astonished by this turn of events. “We had just gotten a new shipment of the Roman Sacristan Game, T-Shirts, and the Roman Sacristan Monopoly Game, and a new soft drink, Roman Up! Now it is all ruined.”


“I don’t know how I am going to pay for this mess,” he said.















Mr. Moose - file photo.










Late this evening, there was another confrontation between Mr. Hedgehog and several scorpions. The scorpions tried to break up evening prayers by shouting down the lone hedgehog.









Several other animals came to the aid of the hedgehog, and there was a heated exchange between the two groups.











Violence was barely avoided as the scorpions, a duck, a crab, and a moose faced each other.





Fortunately, violence did not break out, and the prayers continued. The scorpions dispersed after joining claws and singing 'Give Peas a Chance."







"Give Peas a Chance!"








“We had an exchange of real words, which I see as the beginning of a dialogue regarding this touchy subject of scorpions and their role in the world,” Mr. Hedgehog said afterwards, “It gives me hope that we can reach a peaceful understanding of our differences, and grow in greater love for God and for truth.”







Mr. Hedgehog discusses the issues with our reporter.








“If he weren’t covered with prickles, he would look like a pin cushion right now,” was the only comment from the scorpions.

As further developments become known, we will keep you informed.

Scorpion Imprisoned!

A Mr. Scorpion, formerly of the Dallas County Scorpions, was arrested in Bexar County over the St. Labor Day Weekend.

Mr. Scorpion was the object of a small massive scorpionhunt covering all of Texas, starting Friday, headed by dadwithnoisykids and Mr. Moose.

More news to follow this week.

Mr. Scorpion, photographed at the Bexar County Jail, wants his side of the story told



a SSD/MetaltrAch Inc. file photo

Hold onto your seats
I've something to say
One scorpion
has run away

No lecture on love
to read this week
I'm so upset
I cannot speak

We checked his lair
and his cell phone
we think he ran
to San Antone

So off we go
to bring him back
Hedghog is miffed
He blew his stack

dadwithnoisykids

scorpion catches duck

here is that picture i think