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We present a couple of photographs for your viewing pleasure. Here we start with ZelieLouisa caught in midair on the trampoline:

One day, we had a large box from some sort of delivery. The children decided to make it into the truck they always wanted. They named it 'Little Tex.' Here are Max and Bernard:

Max shows off his ride:


Bernard got into some mud one day, and before we hosed him off in the tub we took a picture of him. He is not happy, but the tub always makes him laugh and smile:

In another picture, he is trying to climb over the top of the sofa:







And now a word from our sponsor. One of my nieces has this Toyota Sienna minivan, and she posted this tribute to it on her facebook page. If only they did a 15-passenger version of this song:



Word.

I would like to see a Toyota Sienna do what our van did today: 3 tons, 13 passengers, 0 to 70 in about 10 seconds to beat a semi as we merged onto a one-lane, cement-bordered freeway lane!



File photo of Sixty One Papa, also known as the Big Blue.

Living Without the Cross

Mr. Moose makes a rare appearance in this photo:



Two years ago we learned that the 'next year's model' Noisykid had died in utero at 11 weeks gestation.

This child would have been born around the time that Theodore died.

We named her Therese Mary Catherine.

Today I was reminded of this when we saw an autistic child in a restaurant, and my wife reminded me of something which our Priest said shortly after Theodore's death.

"The only thing harder than living with the Cross is not living with it."

We thank God for all of our children; those who live and for those who have died.

On a lighter note, here is the youngest, Bernard, sporting some cool shades:

Weekend Thoughts

I took the Armadillo for a shakedown cruise this afternoon. It had been running a bit rough lately, and I had some work done on it in anticipation of the drive to Mass in Greenville on Sunday. It was still acting up, so we would have to attend Mass closer to home.

The Big Blue, our 15-passenger van, is in the shop getting a fender replaced. THAT is a story I can't really tell, for Carolyn asked me to stop publishing vehicle strikes. That is too bad, because it is kind of fun describing how various creatures have a tendency to collide with our vehicles. Why, just last weekend, the same weekend the van got hit in a parking spot at Cha-Cho's, a bird struck the Armadillo at 65 miles per hour. There is nothing like the sound of a bird colliding with a car at high speed….

Back to the shakedown cruise. There I was, driving along with two of my daughters – the middle ones – listening to Paul Anka singing that that old Billy Idol song, “Eyes Without a Face.” It was just bizarre, yet it seemed to make sense, seeing as how Billy Idol recently made an album of Christmas favorites. Still, I can’t imagine old Billy singing ‘Ave Maria,’ complete with his permanent sneer. The song also seemed to fit in with a lot of the strange goings on from the past few days in North Texas.

To begin with, we got an interesting prayer card this week from the American Life League. At first I wanted to toss it, but then I got to thinking. Impeachment is highly unlikely - recall the last time we tried to impeach the president, and wishing ill of someone is not charitable. So it makes a lot of sense to pray for our president's conversion. Another reason to pray for the conversion of our president is because real charity is willing the ultimate good for another, and the ultimate good is to go to heaven. Consider that the executioner of St. Charles Lwanga(above, with companions) later converted to the Faith. Consider how St. Paul goes from being a hunter of Christians to being one of the greatest Saints. Also contemplate this quote from St. Thomas More, where he expresses a desire to see his persecutors in Heaven with him one day:

"More have I not to say but like as the blessed Apostle St. Paul, as we read in the Acts of the Apostles, was present, and consented to the death of St. Stephen, and kept their clothes that stoned him to death, and yet be they now both twain holy saints in heaven, and shall continue there friends for ever, so I verily trust and shall therefore right heartily pray, that though your Lordships have now in earth been judges to my condemnation, we may yet hereafter in heaven merrily all meet together to our everlasting salvation."

St. Thomas More

I wish I could pray this same prayer. Some day, I hope, but not today.

So pray for our president's conversion. Pray if only for yourselves, for I think he is going to put the hurt on the things I care about the most: Pro-Life issues, family, freedom of conscience for physicians, home schooling, just to name a few in no particular order. Now, if I can get my scanner to work, here are both sides of the prayer card, courtesy of the American Life League:







Here is someone else praying for this....

This was only one of many strange things which happened this weekend. Right after receiving Our Lord in Holy Communion, while trying to kneel and pray on the floor of a cramped and sweltering chapel, my three year old daughter came up to me and asked if I could 'do this.' She then proceeded to twist her tongue and stick it out at me. "After Mass," I assured her.

Last night I watched the movie Persuasion, based on a story by Jane Austen. Simply put, a woman is advised to dump a suitor against her wishes, meets him years later, and they marry at that time. The movie was quite good, but like all Jane Austen movies, the main characters looked as if they had just ingested a bolus of helicobacter pylori shortly before the filming began. Every woman in the movie needed a bit of Maalox.

Apparently, in the time period when Persuasion takes place, military folks were not thought of well, because the military was thought of as a way for ordinary folks to rise up in society. I don't know about status or royalty, but my time in the Air Force was a tremendous blessing in terms of helping me realize my dream of becoming a doctor without taking on a prohibitively large debt. Although we are not part of the elite of North Texas, we do have a roof over our head, clothes on our backs, food in the fridge, and only TWO junked lawn tractors in the driveway!

While waiting for the Armadillo in the shop, we learned about Triple Combo Cooking Power and what it will mean to the busy homemaker. We watched a T-bone steak, salmon fillet, a 10-pound turkey, and much MUCH MORE! get cooked in minutes rather than hours.

I ordered three.

Two things struck me at the local Albertson's. One, when did camouflage pattern become fashionable? The same color scheme I thought I would be wearing when I died for my country is now covering people of all ages and sexes.

The second thing is that a lot of music from the 70' and 80's consisted of the lead singer yelling at us. In the few minutes I was in the store, I heard Michael McDonald(formerly of the Doobie Brothers) yelling at me about 'real love,' followed by the Electric Light Orchestra(E.L.O.) screaming about something being a 'living thing.'

I have no answer to these questions, but I do have pictures of little birdies learning to fly. These two were sitting on our front porch checking out the big wild world:

It Smells Like A New Car Around Here.....

Yup. The Aardvark, which is looking at 190,000 miles, has been replaced by another fine product from Ford Motor Company. It will still be kept as a 'short hop' errand car for the youngsters. It was paid for a long time ago, and it still runs well. I just did not want it to suffer a major breakdown while making the 30+ mile trip each way to my work.

The new car, a Ford Escape Limited, satisfied our requirements for a Texas vehicle while also providing better gas mileage for commuting. The only thing I have to do now is finish the owner's manual. The instructions for the instrument panel, with all the interfaces for cell phone and iPod and other things, is a short novel in itself. I told my best beloved that we should go on a road trip so she can read the manual and figure it all out so she can tell me what to do.

By the way, we celebrated the birthday of Wifeofdadwithnoisykids on Tuesday! I cannot thank God enough for the blessing of my wife. I cannot thank her enough for marrying me and being such a wonderful wife and mother of my children.




We shall name the new car after it has been blessed.

Burning Love

Enkindle my heart
with love for Thy Heart alone
never to die out.

SMD
5.2.2009

Time to get serious about Lent

On Palm Sunday, after Mass and spending a Holy 2-Hour or so in church after lunch, my eldest son, Histor the Wise, drove us home. It was an hour full of fun and excitement. Wifeofdadwithnoisykids spent all of the time praying, with short breaks to tell me that she loves me and to loosen her grip on my shoulders. We made it home fine; Histor even got a great opportunity to deal with couches which were blocking the center two lanes of I-20. I didn't get that kind of experience until I was a lot older. I am jealous....

Somehow this prayer, on a holy card on my desk, seemed to be an appropriate one to think of at this time:

Offering of Holy Communion As Viaticum

MY GOD!

If I am to die today, or suddenly at any time,

I wish to receive this Communion as my Viaticum.

I desire that my last food may be the Body and Blood

of my Saviour and Redeemer;

my last words, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph;

my last affection, an act of pure love of God and

of perfect contrition for my sins;

my last consolation,

to die in Thy holy grace and

in Thy holy love. Amen.

This issue has been on my mind, starting with this rather prophetic post in February, and in several posts during the month of February. I am beginning to see what a tremendous grace, blessing I received by spending some time as a patient. I have not given adequate thought to preparing for the day I die.

FYI:

New stuff happening behind the scenes at Scorpion Stalking Duck will be announced after Easter.

Stuffed Poblano Pepper Alert:

On Saturday night, I got some takeout Mexican food for my wife and I. She had wanted to go on a 'date' before Holy Week began, and I was too busy to take her out last week. Anyways, I ordered Chili Rellenos, also known as 'Stuffed Poblano Peppers.' It was great, with ground beef inside and an allegedly 'hot' green sauce on the outside(I must be adapting finally to hot sauces), but it made me wonder something. Any time I mention 'stuffed poblano peppers' I get at least one hit from someone who is 'Googling' that term. Why? They are so easy to make; just hollow out a pepper, stuff it and cook it - or more likely just warm it up.

So why the need to look up a recipe for stuffed poblano peppers?

From Preparation for Total Consecration

The Seventh Day(The Imitation of Christ, Book 1, Chapter 18):

Oh how great was the fervor of all religious in the beginning of their holy institute! Oh how great was their devotion in prayer, how great was their zeal for virtue! How vigorous the discipline that was kept up, what reverence and obedience, under the rule of the superior, flourished in all! [snip] Now, he is thought great who is not a transgressor; and who can, with patience, endure what he has undertaken.

That last line sums up the world so well, where someone who just obeys the law is seen as a pillar of virtue. God calls us to do so much more than just drive a large van between the lines on the freeway. Sometimes we have to look out for stumbling blocks(or couches) and get away from them. Sometimes we need to apply the brakes before we collide with a yacht or go literally overboard.

What are Caretakers?

Mr. Moose leads a map-reading seminar while on the road.

This post, describing the trip we took in January, was written by on Cabelas Moose, who describes himself as the ‘Caretaker’ of the Big Blue Miracle. Since all the other stuffed animals are on retreat for all of Lent, I thought it would be a good time to describe what Caretakers are as well as what function they serve for the dadwithnoisykids family.

Historical Perspective

The original Caretaker was a ‘Dogbert’ stuffed animal which was assigned in 1997 to the vehicle ‘Yankee Hotel,’ better known as the ‘Great White Shark.’ ‘Shark’ was almost immediately dropped from the name after its purchase. This vehicle, which is still in service in Texas, was the first 15-passenger van purchased by dadwithnoisykids. For a while the ‘Great White’ was known as ‘Dogbert,’ but as the hazards of being a Caretaker took their toll on Dogbert(including his mysterious disappearance), the former name became the name by which ‘Yankee Hotel’ will always be remembered. During his tenure, Dogbert lost his glasses, suffered from a stuffing leak, and was constantly being thrown across the dashboard whenever dadwithnoisykids took the van through some rather dangerous maneuvers. His fate is not known.

Two other vehicles, the ‘Calais’ and the ‘Black Box,’ never had Caretakers. They were also ‘northerners,’ vehicles purchased in Michigan, and did not come with air conditioning systems which were an absolute necessity for living in San Antonio. They did not last long, and were avoided by all stuffed animals.

In 1998, ‘Bravo-76’ was purchased to replace the ‘Black Box.’ This vehicle became dadwithnoisykids’ work vehicle, and earned the nickname ‘The Aardvark’ for some unknown reason. For the remainder of the time in the Air Force, the Aardvark served with an aardvark Beanie Baby, until the child who owned it requested its return. In 2000, ‘Horse’ became the Caretaker for the Aardvark. Horse was modeled loosely on the horse belonging to the cartoon character ‘Dudley Do-Right.’ At the time he joined us he was working in a hospital in San Antonio and wanted to travel. He served well for the next two years, and pioneered the technique for holding the clip-on sunglasses of the driver. He would have continued in this position – and possibly having the Aardvark renamed after him – if he did not injure his neck with the repeated acceleration/deceleration forces that came with dadwithnoisykids’ driving. He is medically retired, and was replaced by a smaller aardvark, one who can tolerate the stresses of driving.

Mr. Horse shows how weak his neck is from the stresses of driving.

Mr. Aardvark holds a pair of clip-on sunglasses

In 2005, ‘Yankee Hotel’ was replaced by ’61-Papa,’ a 15-passenger vehicle with a V-10 engine and a few additions which made it more family friendly. This vehicle was initially referred to as the ‘Big Blue,’ in reference to its size. Like the ‘Great White,’ the vans were thought of by some as being ‘big as a whale,’ and so ‘Big Blue’ also alluded to a blue whale.

Selecting a Caretaker for the Big Blue fell to dadwithnoisykids, who picked a quiet, introspective, young adult moose named Cabelas. At the time, Cabelas Moose was trying to discern his vocation, and had already declined several overtures from some families in his parents’ herd. He took the job immediately when he found out that his obligation was terminated when the ‘Big Blue’ was removed from service by dadwithnoisykids. In an earlier interview, Mr. Moose explained why the job of a Caretaker was so appealing:

“The idea of being committed to serve a family in this manner, cut off from the social obligations of a young moose, appealed to me. At the time I hired on, I was trying to determine if a religious vocation was what God was calling me to, and I found the proximity of young lady mooses to be very distracting, extremely distracting. So now, I spend a lot of time in solitude, staring at the open road, or the wall of the garage, thinking about what my role is in this world. For now, it is one of service to the dadwithnoisykids family. Perhaps one day I will realize that my vocation was really to just be a single moose serving families.”

Mr. Cabelas Moose


Present Day Caretakers

In 2006, the price of gasoline took a turn upward for good, regaining the high prices which followed in the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in 2005. Cabelas Moose was instrumental in the decision to purchase another smaller car for Wifeofdadwithnoisykids to use instead of continuing to drive the ‘Big Blue’ for errands. A spreadsheet, totally produced by him, indicating the cost of using the ‘Big Blue’ for daily driving at less than 50% capacity, was the final selling point. The selection of a new car also gave the Caretakers more influence, as Mr. Moose and Mr. Aardvark collaborated on determining the ideal choice for another car. The new car was the 2006 version of the Aardvark, nicknamed ‘The Batmobile.’

Since the Batmobile was (and is) a woman’s car, Wifeofdadwithnoisykids chose Miss Bear to be the Caretaker for it. Miss Bear was also trying to determine her vocation when she was approached about the job:

“Oh no,” she laughed, “I needed to beat the suitors off with a stick! I just wasn’t ready to commit to the married life. As a nursery room bear, I had a lot of experience dealing with babies, and I knew I needed to grow up a bit before settling down. Just like Mr. Moose, I look at this job as a way to step back, get some time to think before plunging into my vocation.”
“Still, I can’t help thinking Mr. Moose got jilted by some lady moose. He sure is kind and fun to be around.”

The Future of Caretakers

Caretakers are a small cadre of stuffed animals which originally began as mascots for the dadwithnoisykids family vehicles. Over the past decade, they have expanded their role beyond this to the point that they wield a significant influence over the family’s decisions. With the two oldest Noisykids starting driver education, the Caretakers are involved in the training of the next generation of vehicle owner/operators. The Caretakers are not afraid to criticize any driver and to recommend re-training (see this blog at the end).

Mr. Aardvark inspects an item on the back seat.

In the summer of 2006, the Big Blue was involved in an accident where a Roman Sacristan struck the front fender while it was parked. After that incident, water was observed to issue from the front fender, and those stuffed animals which bathed in it were cured of various ailments. Mr. Moose quickly gained control of this phenomenon, avoiding any kind of scandal, and establishing a gift shop to sell the various items that were requested by pilgrims(See these and these blogs). His decisive action avoided turning the dadwithnoisykids household into a modern-day Woodstock. This incident resulted in the Big Blue being renamed the ‘Big Blue Miracle.’

This last experience made Mr. Moose yearn even more for a contemplative life, even though his business sense has made the Gift Shop a profitable enterprise. In January, he almost left the Big Blue Miracle to join the Benedictine Monastery in Alabama, but his promise to fulfill his commitment kept him on the front dash of the van.

The risks of being a Caretaker can not be ignored, especially when considering the fate of Dogbert, or the injuries sustained by Horse. In addition to riding, the Caretakers are responsible for the safety of the crew and passengers. This can range from cleaning the carpet all the way to dragging passengers out of a burning car. They take a pledge to give up their lives for the safety of the passengers and crew of their vehicles.

Despite this, the list of volunteers to be a Caretaker is long. As long as there will be Noisykids driving, there will be a Caretaker along for the ride, insuring the safety of all in their care.

Miss Bear enjoys the ride Eastbound on I-30.

Feast of St. Joseph Comments

There is a poem about St. Joseph buried below the Noisykid Kitchen entries. You did not ask for it, but you got it! More Bad Poetry!

Pope St. Leo and the Rubber Chicken Man, Revisited

A long time ago, in another post, I showed the picture below. Now that I can upload bigger pictures, I thought I would repost the original picture and ask y'all what you think is on the head of the man bowing before Pope St. Leo. Click on the picture to enlarge it:

I think it is a rubber chicken, like this one:

My Bad Poetry Gets Some Critical Publicity

My poem, The Island is Sinking, was printed on another person's blog, and the only comment it produced was that I, yes I, must have been drinking when I wrote it.

This is not true, as I have such a low threshold with alcohol that all that I can do after one beer/glass of wine/mixed drink is go to sleep. I write with the full control of my faculties.

I can write perfectly lousy poetry without any assistance from alcohol, and I am proud of it!

Miraculous Picture Accompanies Bad Poetry?

In my poem, The Island is Sinking, I included a picture of a rainbow taken out the front passenger window of The Big Blue Miracle. Recently my wife noticed that if you look at the picture from about 10 feet from the monitor it appears as if there is a face made by the clouds. My wife thought it may have been the face of God, but I think it is the face of Lou Ferrigno, the man who played the 'Hulk' part of The Incredible Hulk back inthe 70's or 80's.

Here is that picture for your inspection. I would not be surprised if there were another miracle associated with our van which is known as the Big Blue Miracle.

As a bonus, when you expand the picture you can see the left hand of dadwithnoisykids on the steering wheel. What a bonus!

Random Monday Thoughts

"Heute sterben Sie"

That's German for 'today you die,' which is a thought that struck me during yesterday's Mass.

How cheerful. After having that thought, I started contemplating the question, 'what if this were my last day on earth? What would I not want to be doing/saying/thinking on my last day of life, and what would I want to do on my last day of life?'

Briefly:
1. Pay attention and stop daydreaming during Mass.
2. Guard your eyes.
3. Guard your thoughts.
4. Occupy those times where your brain seems to be in neutral with prayers, like the Hail Mary. Fr. John Hardon once said that prayer is the only activity one can continue after death.

This phrase might make a great theme for Lent, which is a little over two weeks from now.



Here I am, Lord.

With Sunday's(yesterday's) first reading(Isaiah 6:1-8) containing those often-quoted words, 'here I am,' I would guess most of the parishes in the United States had a love fest with that sappy song, Here I Am, Lord. Quite a while ago, I uncovered some new lyrics for that song, and you can see them here.

Since I mention sappy Mass occurrences, I should show a picture of the pig who shows up for Wacky Mass Incidents:

She even has a theme song.

Enjoy.

"Take this raincoat before you go play in the thunderstorm. And don't forget your lightning rod!"

With these words, the governor of Texas mandates that all girls in public school receive the HPV, or Human Papilloma Vaccine. There are several angles to take on this law, but consider the message it sends to the youth. Rather than teaching our children to preserve one of their most precious gifts, we are telling them to go ahead and be used as an object for pleasure.

Vaccines can be made for anything, but a soul is not immune to the ravages of impurity.

Habemus Magnus Vannus

Raulito, who doesn't have a link to me, has a new ve-hi-cle! Read his comments on attendance during the football game yesterday, then marvel at the new van.

Speaking of vans, after driving through storms for most of the recent trip, I propose a motto for the Big Blue Miracle:

Nos Insisto Tempestas

(We Follow the Storm)

Visit from Old Friends

Over the weekend, we had some friends from Houston come and visit us. We had a wonderful time, and went to Mass and Holy Hour and Confession on New Year's Eve at St. William the Confessor Catholic Church in Greenville, Texas.

On New Year's Day, we returned for Mass and a Rosary Procession. I kept the baby inside because we both had sniffles and coughs, so I have no pictures of the beautiful procession. Perhaps Semper Fi will.




I did get some snapshots of an old friend of ours. Yankee Hotel Joliet, better known as the Great White, was present in the parking lot at St. William's.



Here is a picture of it:

Here is one with Sixty-One Papa, the Big Blue Miracle, in the foreground. Note the markings for the various animal/Sacristan strikes on the front fender of the Big Blue Miracle:

Mr. Moose wondered whatever happened to the little Dogbert doll that used to live in the Great White:

"I plan on retiring to a monastery, and spend my life in prayer and penance for Dadwithnoisykids, when the Big Blue Miracle eventually retires or is destroyed," he said.

"I hope that won't be for several years. Also, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from all of us who ride with the Dadwithnoisykids Family!"

If some of this is confusing, check the Labels to explain some things, maybe....

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A Little Fun After Sunday Mass

We had planned to bring the Roman Sacristan Board Game, for the children to play at the barbecue after Mass. We were in a rush trying to make it, and I forgot it. Mea Culpa. Hopefully next week. The children played chess instead.




Since we had all the necessary 'pieces,' some of us adults attempted a round of the 'Live' version of the Roman Sacristan Game.










Roman Sacristan stares down three determined players












Sadly, the game was rained out.


dadwithnoisykids

An Unprecedented and Daring Leap of Plagiarism?

Sometimes things fall out of the sky and into my lap, things so wonderful and spectacular, that I must go ahead and publish them. Without permission of the author, without regard for my literary career, my following of faithful fans, my professional reputation, nay, not even fearing death, I present this comment, now for the first time in a blog entry of its own.

I am honored to present this comment from the mother of the Roman Sacristan!

Read on with me:

I am so proud. A mother seldom sees miracles involving her son, so I've followed with interest the adventures of the big blue van, and for the occasion of the Sacristan saga, I have penned a poem for you:

There once was a big ol'blue van
that struck a careless Sacristan.
The results of the wreck
saved believers from heck
and established the first rolling shrine -- Amen!

I have become a daily reader of your meanderings -- er, musings and look forward to new tales of ducks, scorpions, kids, and vans, and maybe even a stray Sacristan or two.

God bless! Sacristan's mom


My heart swelled up like that of a bloated tick upon reading these words. Thank you, Roman Sacristan's Mother, for your poetry, and most especially for your son, Roman Sacristan.






On another note....




On Monday night, we went to Mass to celebrate the feast of St. Augustine. Father gave a 20-plus minute sermon on St. Augustine and St. Monica, and read the passage from the Confessions of St. Augustine which includes the line, "late have I loved You..." where St. Augustine relates the time he wasted in the past, where he did not love or serve God.

After Mass, we planned on going right home, after picking up some hamburgers to go at the local Chew and Choke Family Burger Joint(another fine product from SSD/MetaltrAch, Inc.) . Father was going to have a Holy Hour, with the Rosary and Night Prayers. As I walked out of the church, something made me turn around. I wanted to stay. I suggested to my wife that she take the little kids to pick up the hamburgers, and I would remain with some of the older children for the Holy Hour. I went in and started praying the Rosary. Over a bit of time, my oldest sons crept in, most sitting behind me. I motioned them to join me in the same pew, and to pray along with the rest of us.

I was feeling a bit of that 'late have I loved you' feeling, considering that the lack of enthusiasm showing on my sons' faces mirrored that of my own when I was a teenager. I recall that I had more important things to do than hang out with God in the Church. I was very much into being cool, and Church was a place for

'Comfort for the weak and old women dressed in black'
(a real line from a real song by a real singer named Marie Bellet)

instead of cool people like me. So how could I instill the love I have for our Lord into my children? These were my thoughts as the Holy Hour Proceeded. I started recalling all those times when I participated in activities at Church, and all of those memories were suddenly wonderful. I recall, as a nine year old, going to Mass in a Swiss town called Visp, and participating in a Eucharistic Procession afterwards. I enjoyed it, even though my German was rather poor, and I really wanted to do the 'tourist things' before going to see the Matterhorn the next day. In that same year living in Switzerland, we went to a cloister. I misunderstood what a cloister was, and thought we were going to be locked inside for the rest of our lives. I knew I had to get back to the United States - they needed me! All the times I spent serving Mass, serving for the Stations of the Cross, or the Marathon Good Friday Services, suddenly were remembered as good times. I recall as a child how I would pray fervently for the shortest Eucharistic Prayer to be said at Mass - perhaps the first time in my life I ever really prayed! All of these memories had been transformed over the years into ones to be cherished.

I began to think, not for the first time, that raising our children consists largely of 'showing up' and being a good example to them of what it means to know, love, and serve God. Truly our actions speak louder than words, and St. Francis' comment, 'Preach Always, Use Words Only When Necessary,' really applies to parenting. The time our family spends in prayer at home and at Mass is an investment in our children's souls, and will pay dividends far greater than any other work we do on earth.

dadwithnoisykids

The Big Blue Miracle

Almost the Christmas Miracle



Big Blue - site of a miracle?












Mr. Moose, the curator of the van ‘Big Blue,’ reports some strange developments in the week following the unfortunate Sacristan Strike.







Mr. Moose shows where he was sitting when
Roman Sacristan hit the van 'Big Blue'







“We were busy putting the new sticker on the Big Blue,” said Moose, “when one of my assistants noticed a peculiar smell coming from the front right panel of the van. That was the area where the Roman Sacristan struck the front of the van. I was sitting in my usual position, on the right front part of the dashboard, and I saw the whole thing. That had to hurt.”


“It smelled like incense, like something from out of this world,” said Duck.













file photo




When word spread through the neighborhood, folks began to make pilgrimages to see and smell the van that appears to be emanating incense. Incense is used in during various parts of the Mass, but in many parishes, it has disappeared from the church altogether. “My guess is it is some incense that had permeated the Roman Sacristan’s clothing, and rubbed off on the van”



Pilgrims line up to see the mysterious water and examine the incense-bearing van. Some appear to have been overcome by the heat.









A Sacred Spring

Friday morning dawned, with the pilgrims amazed to discover a pool of water underneath the right front corner of the van. When the van was sitting on the concrete with the engine idling, the ‘Big Blue’ began to secrete even more water, which was eagerly collected by the pilgrims.

“It tastes fresh, with a bit of a metallic aftertaste,” said Scorpion, “It eased the pain of my sciatica.”

“It is condensation from the forward air conditioner unit,” responded an indignant dadwithnoisykids, when he was asked about the miraculous spring of water that came forth from his van after striking Roman Sacristan. He pointed out that there was another air conditioning unit located in the left rear corner of the van, which also dripped condensation. “There is nothing miraculous about air conditioners dripping water.”

“And make sure you make it clear in your report that I did not hit Roman Sacristan. I was sitting still when HE struck my van!”

“Right you are, Mr. Dadwithnoisykids,” said Duck, “you can persist in your delusional unbelief.”

“For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. That is what my grandfather always said," added Mr. Moose.

Pilgrims have started to wash in the water collected underneath the ‘Big Blue,’ and miraculous cures are inevitable, according to several visitors who agreed to talk on the condition of anonymity. One bear came here with a serious illness and went home as healthy as a newborn bear cub.






This little pilgrim bathes in the water as others look on, awaiting their turn. Note how clean the water appears.














Before taking a dip in the water, this pilgrim shows a crab that had been bothering him for years. After the bath, the crab was gone.











The Next Lourdes?

So far, the Diocese of Dallas has been silent on this apparition.

“This does not surprise me,” said dadwithnoisykids, “the Church typically spends time observing these kinds of phenomena, until enough information can be gathered. Sometimes it takes years. Usually if the apparition or a phenomenon has a message consistent with the Magisterium, the Church will gently remind the pilgrims that what they are hearing is something the Church has always taught. If the message is not in accordance with Church teaching, the faithful are counseled to avoid the site or messenger. In this case, though, there is no message; just a van dripping condensation from its forward air conditioning unit. There is an abundance of miracles present in our world, such as a God Who became Man, Who died for our salvation, and is truly present in the Blessed Sacrament.” One doesn’t need to surround my van when you can go and spend time in prayer in Church, in front of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.”

“I wish people would spend more time praying for other things, such as a new bishop for the Diocese of Dallas.” Bishop Grahmann of Dallas recently tendered his resignation upon reaching the age of retirement.

For now, dadwithnoisykids has allowed pilgrims to visit and wash in the water, provided they not trample the garden or leave garbage after themselves. While the pilgrims have petitioned to make the van ‘Big Blue’ a permanent site, dadwithnoisykids has indicated that he can not afford a new van at this time.

“We are starting a fund to buy ‘Big Blue,’ and are looking for corporate sponsorship,” stated Mr. Moose. “From now on, I want to go into the church instead of sitting out in the van during Mass.”











Mr. Moose in a contemplative moment







Copyright, SSD/MetaltrAch, 2006

Coming this Sunday

Morty the Moose, curator of the van 'Big Blue,' which struck the Roman Sacristan just one week ago, talks about how this event has changed his life, and those of so many others in North Texas. A special presentation of SSD News.




Morty the Moose takes a moment to contemplate the changes one day can make in a moose.















Photo by SSD News photographer Hedgehog
Copyright SSD News - A Scorpion Stalking Duck/MetaltrAch, Inc. Company

The Big Blue Van is All Right

The Roman Sacristan noted that he had a run-in with the van 'Big Blue' and that he survived. He posted a picture allegedly of our van here.


Here are a few pictures of the Big Blue to show you that it is all right.



Big Blue
















Note the markings on the front left of the van:
















two squirrels, one bird, one snake, and one Roman Sacristan!















dadwithnoisykids

REPORT OF A SACRISTAN STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A SACRISTAN STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1120 ON AUGUST 20 2006

STANDING STILL IN THE PARKING LOT OF ST WILLIAM THE CONFESSOR CATHOLIC CHURCH IN GREENVILLE TEXAS

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF 10 MILES AND 102 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE BIG BLUE 15 PERSON VAN WITH V-10 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED 0 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED SACRISTAN AT 20 YARDS MANEUVERING THROUGH PARKING LOT MOVING TOWARD GAP BETWEEN VAN AND ANOTHER STATIONARY VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO NO FORWARD OR BACKWARD MOTION

I CAN NOT BELIEVE HE HIT US

DRIVER INDICATES THAT SACRISTAN STRUCK FRONT OF VAN ON RIGHT SIDE

SACRISTAN APPEARED TO HAVE SUSTAINED NO INJURIES

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VAN

DRIVER REPORTS SACRISTAN APPEARED TO BE OF A ROMAN VARIETY



THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING VANS

THIS IS THE FIRST SACRISTAN STRIKE FOR THE BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED SACRISTAN STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS