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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Finger Snap Alleluia

Here she is, the proud pig. While we were enjoying coffee and cigars on the back porch, this little stuffed animal made this pyramid of cups.

But I prefer to think of her as the HERALD OF THE WACKY LITURGICAL INCIDENT

In this case, I recently went to a Mass where the 'Alleluia' was the 'Finger Snap Alleluia.'

Imagine someone clicking their fingers while singing Alleluia.

It sounded so bad, and I wanted to report it accurately, so I just had to look up the composer, Paul Inwood, on the Internet.

On his website, I listened to a short rendition of it again, and was struck with how much it sounded like a cross between the theme song from The Adams Family and one of the opening songs from The West Side Story. Since I am a bigger fan of The West Side Story, I could almost imagine the members of The Jets, suddenly strolling int the Church, interrupting Mass, clicking their fingers, and singing their own version of the Alleluia:

When you're a priest,
You're a priest all the way.
From your or-din-ay-shun,
'Til they cart you away!

You hold Our Lord,
In the palm of your hand!
Brother what could best that,
This is grander than grand!

The deacon is here,
The Bible he is holdin!'
Don't you disappear,
The hands better be foldin,'
Or we'll be scoldin'!!

...and so forth.

Anyways, this was just one of many wacky liturgical incidents which surrounded the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and made it hard for such a scatterbrained Catholic to concentrate on What Really Matters during the Mass.

This Moose was scandalized by the whole thing.






Anonymous said...

oh yeah, I have the whole adams family song in my head...now that was some good TV. J

Roman Sacristan said...

When I read this post, this started forming in my head, and I could not get it out of my head if I didn't share it.

[sung to the Adams Family song]

duh, duh, duh, duh [snap] [snap]

They're onerous and loopy,
and sometimes they are spooky,
they're altogether pukey,
The corny liturgy.

They're all just way too happy,
and often they are sappy,
Overall they're just plain crappy,
the corny liturgies.

Joee Blogs said...

Listening to it now...

uh lay loo yaaaa *dah dah*
uh lay loo yaaaa *dah dah*

yeah it sucks big time - but I just wana listen to it one more time...

Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation
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Prayer to Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Mary my mother, take my hand today, and all days.
Lead me away from all occasions of sin.
Guide me in fulfilling your last words in the Gospel,
"Do whatever He tells you."

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