Spork Diary: Love and War

Here I am in the sleeve pocket of Mr. Snaggle-Tooth Garlic-Breath's flight jacket. He got this jacket when he was 'making the world safe for democracy.' Since he was on active duty during the Clinton's presidency, I have my doubts. I usually abstain from political commentary, but I could not resist this time.


Permit me to wish all of you a blessed St. Valentine's Day.

In the opinion of this spork, every day should be St. Valentine's Day for husbands and wives. Man should spend his day showing his wife how much he loves her; woman already does that.

Spork Diary: I Go To Work

Today was 'Take Your Spork To Work Day' in the United States. Mr. Halitosis Breath kept me in his briefcase until lunchtime.

For lunch, he had 'Orange Chicken' with rice and an egg roll. I don't associate with egg rolls, so I can't comment on what that was like. The chicken was drowning in some sort of sauce with little pieces of orange peel in it. Ewwwwww. It was like playing with marmalade. The rice was dry and tasteless.

I prefer the quiet solitude of the briefcase.

I was supposed to go to a wedding last weekend, but old crooked teeth had to stay home and watch the sick children. A likely excuse.

Here I am with the orange chicken and rice. I do not know where the egg roll is.

Spork Diary

My work began January 2, 2010, when I was used in a sample of gourmet
mashed potatoes. Rather than tossing me in the trash with the wax
cup, this lunatic kept me, washed me, and decided to keep a log of my
activities over the next year. That is assuming I last that long....