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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

LETHAL TOAD STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A TOAD STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0558 ON AUGUST 23 2006

NORTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD

WEATHER HAZY WITH VISIBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 84 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 1998 FORD EXPLORER WITH V-6 ENGINE FORMERLY KNOWN AS BRAVO-76 NOW NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA BETTER KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED 30 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED TOAD HOPPING IN ROAD ON COURSE PERPENDICULAR TO VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO ROAD CONDITIONS AND OTHER TRAFFIC IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO VEHICLE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT ARC OF TOADS TERMINAL HOP INTERSECTED WITH PATH OF RIGHT FRONT TIRE

TOAD ASSUMED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURY

UNABLE TO ASSESS TOADS CONDITION DUE TO NEED FOR IMMEDIATE RIGHT TURN DUE TO PATH AND CONDITION OF ROAD

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE

DRIVER REPORTS TOAD TO A BE A ROAMIN VARIETY



THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES

THIS IS THE FIRST REPORTED TOAD STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED TOAD STRIKES WITH THE VAN BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED TOAD STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

VERIFICATION OF TOAD STRIKE IN VANS MAY BE LIMITED BY BLIND SPOT FORWARD OF VANS

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS



Things don't do well when they hit our vehicles. First there was the bird, then the snake(sent as an e-mail in May and will be published later), then the first(sent as an e-mail in May and will be published later) and second squirrel strikes. Only the Roman Sacristan seemed to survive the collision, but he did affect the van in ways we can't explain. This will require pictures taken in daylight and may have to wait for the weekend.

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Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation
Now restored with the help of some cement!

Prayer to Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Mary my mother, take my hand today, and all days.
Lead me away from all occasions of sin.
Guide me in fulfilling your last words in the Gospel,
"Do whatever He tells you."
Amen.

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