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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lassie Came Home!

The following was edited after the wife of dadwithnoisykids read it. She reminded me that she home-schools for a living. What would I do without her? Corrections are in bold type below. August 26, 2006.

Well, briefly.

If you think we are hard on creatures that hit our vehicles, you should consider that the life expectancy of our pets averages about 6 months.

Rachel, calling for her children....

Both of our dogs disappeared within a couple weeks of each other. We assumed that they had a run-in with a pack of coyotes, so it was quite a surprise Sunday morning to almost run over my dog Lassie as she escorted an elderly couple walking down the road.

You can only imagine what it looks like to have a grown man wearing a Hawiian shirt, fluorescent orange shorts, and flip flops screech his car to a halt, jump out, and start screaming "Lassie! Lassie! You're alive!" The couple was a bit upset.

The woman immediately started by saying that she did not steal our dog; rather, Lassie had shown up a few weeks ago and just started hanging out with her other dogs. I let her know I did not consider her a thief, and then proceeded to lead Lassie back home. She would have none of it, and so I called my noisy kids to come and take her home by force if necessary. I went off to the store.

When I came back home, I discovered that Lassie had chewed her way through the rope the noisy kids had used to secure her on our property(BEFORE YOU CALL THE ASPCA ON ME, KNOW THAT SHE WAS TIED UP IN A SHADY AREA WITH FOOD, WATER, AND AN AREA TO 'EXERCISE,' IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN).

Lassie was gone.

"If you love a dog, let it go.
If it comes back to you, it was yours all the time.
If it doesn't, some old lady wearing
a psychedelic unitard and a walkman
probably is feeding it better food than the
no-brand stuff you fed it"

- I read that on a card in a gift shop somewhere

What is one to do? Considering the autonomy of all creatures, and respecting the right of an adult dog to participate in self-determination, I feel that I must not impose my rights as the owner of an adult dog if she feels that she can not realize all of her goals as a member of the dadwithnoisykids family. I just hope the sole surviving cat will eat the 50-pound bag of generic dog food I bought for Lassie to welcome her home.



Anonymous said...

Well, honestly speaking, I would run away from the noisy kids too. To think about all animals would, it is just that humans, especially Catholic ones, know that suffering is redemptive...Dogs know instinctively where the danger is...at your house.

dadwithnoisykids said...

I don't know whether to be insulted or offended by this comment.

Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation
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Prayer to Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Mary my mother, take my hand today, and all days.
Lead me away from all occasions of sin.
Guide me in fulfilling your last words in the Gospel,
"Do whatever He tells you."

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