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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Dangerous Trend at Magnum Opus

We have been monitoring the activities of a blog, one 'Magnum Opus' based in Michigan, for some time now. We are alarmed at the projected growth of a collection of chicks that were acquired by the author of this blog. The purpose for chickens was to to raise them to lay eggs, but we suspect something else is going on here.

By the way, magnum opus is Latin for 'big penguin,' in reference to the penguin 'Opus' in the old comic 'Bloom County.'

Note the first picture, when the chicks were very young - and cute.



Notice how they have grown over the past few weeks. The photograph below has not been doctored as far as our lab can tell.

Using the statistical tool of EXTRAPOLATION, where one makes accurate predictions based on the trend of information, or data points, leading up to where you have no idea what happens next(people do this all the time when they double all the ingredients in a recipe), we are terrified of what we project will be the end result of these chickens when they reach maturity.

The photograph below suggests that the end-stage of the growth curve of these chickens will put them in the 'greater than 99%' range for height and weight.

Chickens in this size classification are not very good for eating, lay fewer eggs, and tend to eat women in mini skirts.

I have personally attempted to contact the blogger at Magnum Opus, but they have been strangely quiet over the past few days.

I am surprised that this blog has not reported this as another incident of genetic engineering gone terribly wrong.


5 comments:

EegahInc said...

This is a frightening development! However, assuming we all survive the outcome, the inevitable film version of Attack Of The Big Chicken sounds like it's just up my alley.

dadwithnoisykids said...

I am confident that, no matter how unredeeming the movie is, you would be able to pull out some significant 'take home' message for those who read your blog.

You must have watched Mystery Science Theater 3000 when it was on.

Kevin said...

Yet another good reason why the women at our home do not wear mini skirts!

shelray said...

We've actually been following this one rather closely. You may not recognize me since I prefer to be incognito for these types of things (I'm the white one with my back to the camera).

Histor the Wise said...

Kevin,

Dad KNOWS your ladies and girls do not wear miniskirts.

Interesting how the monsters *always* go for the chick (oops!) in sultry clothes. Can't they attack an overall-wearing lady once, for fairness? Or better yet, can they go after guys who need suspensor fields to carry their body weight?

Histor

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