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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Regarding Mousetraps, Computers, Bluetooths, and Blogs

I am sad.

I just killed my computer. We just transferred ALL our pictures onto one computer, including a series of milestones in the stories of the scorpion and the duck, and then I killed it. I am in serious trouble.

I am sitting here listening to Irish music and contemplating life when I should be asleep. They used to say that if you built a better mousetrap, the world would beat a path to your door. The same with bluetooths and blogs. Buy one and make the other and the world will be all over you. Whoever said that lied. Just like the guy who put the comment on my computer that all files would be saved when I recoverd my computer....

A couple of weeks ago I bought a bluetooth so I could join the people who are ACHIEVERS, getting things done while engaged in tasks that require two hands, such as driving, sitting, standing or looking at me intently. I figured the moment I turned the thing on someone would call me and I'd be off, bellowing commands seemingly to those around me, intimidating them and making them secretly admire me as one of those people who are so important that they can't be inaccessible for a moment.

So I left it on, for a week, taking it off only at night to recharge it. We were nearly inseparable. I developed a callus on my left ear. Then one day, just out of the blue, I caught my wife looking at me with her big brown eyes, giving me the kind of look that makes me thank God on my knees that I am married to such a wonderful woman. She motioned to me, indicating that she wanted to whisper something sweet in my ear. I did so, and this is what she said, paraphrased:

"Get that thing out of your ear. I told you to take that thing off during Mass, and now Father keeps staring at you trying to figure out why one ear is bigger than the other. You know no one will call you, especially during Mass, and your ear is going to swell up and fall off!"

I wear it when I drive home from work, so I can talk to my wife and find out how the children have behaved.

So I 'accidently' started a blog. Riiiiight. Someone suggested it years ago, so that I would stop sending them pictures of wrestling stuffed animals and salads. I even got a site meter, at the suggestion of a Roman Sacristan who has graciously plugged one of my blogs - next week I will write about throwing out your computer. Sadly, the site meter showed me that the most frequent visitor to my blog is, you can guess, ME.

Happy Feast of St. Benedict!

My four year old asked me a deep philosophical question and offered his own answer: "Why do you have children? So somebody can do their jobs and clean?"

dad with noisy kids


Stephen said...

How do you have a bluetooth in your ear? Mine is in my mouth. I got mine from smoking and drinking coffee. I do see a future of throwing more things out around your house. When things don't work, it sure is theraputic to smash them. I am not suggesting doing that with your computer of course, that would be waste! You can recycle the good parts for your next one. The case can be used to make that better mousetrap. etc. etc. Make sure and document all of this, I see a book and movie deal possible. No forget that, might lead you into buying another TV.

Sdillier said...
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Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

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Mary my mother, take my hand today, and all days.
Lead me away from all occasions of sin.
Guide me in fulfilling your last words in the Gospel,
"Do whatever He tells you."

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