Illness Abounds

The noisykids are ill. It is Christmas in July, with the seasonal flu bug visiting us a bit in advance.

Those who are sick look like refugees, camped on our bedroom floor. The others, who are either recovered or due to be sick, inexplicably ride around the house on roller blades. "It won't hurt the tile," says my wife.

Most of them inherited the rollerskating gene from their mother, seeing I am as graceful as a mannequin on roller skates. I suddenly remember when I was just a kid, going to the roller skating rink with my future bride. Ah, the romance as we joined hands during the 'couples' skates, she with the brown eyes and graceful moves, me with all the maneuverability of a refrigerator on a dolly. She would skate around me, even backwards in front of me. Her eyes would radiate love and affection, while mine displayed only terror. She would sing along with the saccharin-sweet love songs of the 80's, while I repeated the mantra, LEFT, RIGHT, LEAN INTO THE TURN.

If she had let go of me, I would have continued on a straight path into other couples, the wall, or some other form of destruction. But she never did. She never has, in any way. I don't roller skate any more, but I still need the helping hand of my constant companion and love of my life to keep me from running into something.

"What you call 'being on top of things' I call 'being an annoying cuss.'"

- the oldest noisykid

dadwithnoisykids