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Friday, September 15, 2006

REPORT OF A FURRY BROWN CREATURE STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIG FURRY ANIMAL STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0154 ON SEPTEMBER 15 2006

SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD DALLAS COUNTY

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISIBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 65 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 1998 FORD EXPLORER WITH V-6 ENGINE NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA BETTER KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

OWNER OPERATED

SAFETY BELTS IN USE

SPEED 45 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED BROWN FURRY ANIMAL RUNNING IN ROAD ON COURSE PERPENDICULAR TO VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO EXTREME PROXIMITY OF FURRY CREATURE TO VEHICLE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT FURRY CREATURE RAN IN FRONT AND UNDER VEHICLE AND STRUCK FRONT UNDERSIDE OF VEHICLE

A LOUD THUNK SOUND WAS HEARD

CREATURE ASSUMED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURY

UNABLE TO ASSESS FURRY CREATURES CONDITION DUE TO URGENCY OF MISSION

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

VEHICLE INSPECTED AT COMPLETION OF MISSION

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE NOTED

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES

THIS IS THE FIRST REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKES WITH THE VAN BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

2 comments:

Truthseeker said...

Bless your little heart! It seems like 'ol blue is a magnet for (mostly) warm-blooded varmints (sorry, R.S.). Maybe we should try to figure out how to purge the vehicle of this tendency. I'll give it some thought.

Roman Sacristan said...

"warm-blooded varmints" eh?
Maybe they need to let truthseeker's husband drive through truthseeker's yard and get rid of all the gophers and moles. LOL! [nudge][nudge]

I'm sure living outside the city limits brings one into "contact" (literally, LOL) with more wildlife.

There's several videos on the web of motorcycles colliding with deer.

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Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation
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Prayer to Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Mary my mother, take my hand today, and all days.
Lead me away from all occasions of sin.
Guide me in fulfilling your last words in the Gospel,
"Do whatever He tells you."
Amen.

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