Milingo Musings

Milingo Musings

Let us now direct our attention to the concept of Father dadwithnoisykids,
which would doubtlessly lead to Bishop dadwithnoisykids.

Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo of Zambia recently �installed� four bishops over
last weekend. For more details on the Canon legalities of this issue, I
recommend starting at http://www.americanpapist.com/blog.html.

Archbishop Milingo seems to think that by allowing married men to become
priests, the lack of priests would be eliminated. I have given some thought
to this matter over the years, and would like to weigh in with my thoughts
in this debate. I consider myself an expert in the field of �married
priests� based on the following criteria which I have satisfied:

1. I am holier than thou. Not only am I holier than thou, but I have the
attitude to go with it.
2. As a 42-year old cradle Catholic, having listened attentively to sermons
every Sunday and holy days (and weekdays) since I reached the age of reason,
I know that I could give a better homily than most of the noise that
emanates from the man behind the pulpit.
3. I have a brother who is a priest. That sentence alone gives me the right
to say just about anything I want about the priesthood.
4. I am married to a wonderful woman, who is the mother of our wonderful
children, who are collectively referred to as the noisykids.
5. As head of the house, I am also the head of my own church, one John Paul
II referred to as the �domestic church.�

Having established my credentials, I must emphatically say to the esteemed
and beloved Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo:

You must be crazy, man!

There are several ways to look at this issue, and I will discuss each one in
turn: The �Spouse,� the �children,� and the �outside observer.�

When I use the term �spouse,� I am referring to the wife for married men,
and Jesus Christ for priests. Both of them have behavior which could be
described as jealous. Our Lord even refers to Himself as a jealous God in
the Old Testament. Both wives and Christ want the attention of the
husband/priest, and expect to have constant access to them for whatever they
need. No subject, no time, no place is off limits for them to launch into a
discussion of �what is going on� in their day, and �what are you going to do
about it?� If the man does not have an answer for that last question, the
Spouse will surely have some good suggestions ready for his review. I am
not saying that this is unfair; rather, the vows of matrimony and the vows
of the priesthood allow, or rather, demand that the man give his all to
either Christ or to his wife. This is where the concept of the married
priest falls apart. It is impossible to be married to a woman and a priest
at the same time. Each one is a full time job, and one will suffer for it.

Consider this example. While visiting my brother, Fr. BODWNK(short for
Brother Of Dad With Noisy Kids), there have been times when he had to cancel
plans he had with us and tend to some emergency call from a parishioner. He
could not brush off the call, or send someone else to take care of it. No
one else could go; it had to be him.

Consider the responsibilities of raising children, and then add to that
having to answer for the souls of all the parishioners. No, thank you. The
challenges of raising a relatively small number of children from birth to
whenever are daunting enough. As I mentioned before , Pope John Paul II
referred to the home as a domestic church, where the child first learns
about God, how to pray, and how to follow His way to eternal life. That is
what I do when I am not at work of doing other chores(including blogging).

Consider how the family of Father dadwithnoisykids would be under tremendous
scrutiny from the outside observer. Imagine, if you will, watching Father
dadwithnoisykids preaching on a topic while the noisykids openly disobey
him. Such behavior would be scandalous, and would make it harder for the
parishioners to follow his advice. The married priest would be easily
discredited: �How can you preach against the evils of <insert sin here>
when your child <insert child name here> is <insert sin here again>?�

If these arguments do not convince you, consider the last, and most
persuasive argument for most people living on this earth: Money.

Is the �outside observer� going to be content to pay my stipend, my salary?
I am not talking about the small sum most priests get for subsistence, I am
talking about a salary that would allow me to raise my family in a manner
that would provide for all their needs. Before saying �yes,� consider the
needs of my family. First, the children would have to always appear clean,
neat, and well-groomed. Clothes would have to be of high quality, pleasing
to the eye and of a current style so that the children would not be
considered �old-fashioned.� The same would apply to my wife and I.
Orthodontists would insure that all teeth in our heads are straight and of
an appealing white color. A priest would have to drive a vehicle reflecting
the importance of his office; a Lexus, or a Mercedes Benz, or something
Italian would do.

We would need a gymnasium, where we could spend a portion of our day
exercising. Each family member would need a computer, and the children
would have to attend the finest schools. Food would have to be of the
finest variety, and would be served by our parish cook. A family pilgrimage
to the Holy Land and to Rome, alternating destinations each year, would be
part of the deal. It would be difficult to preach on the Gospel without
ever having set foot in the Holy Land.

Now, before giving your answer, consider that I would get to do this, with
the money put into the collection plate, while most people can not afford
the kind of lifestyle I envision for my noisykids. Consider also that I may
have more than two, or four, or six children, and that some parishioners do
not like the idea of large families. If I became Father dadwithnoisykids,
the collections would have to increase substantially. I do take personal
checks!

dadwithnoisykids

I Raise My Voice In Anger

I raise my voice in anger, oh Lord
for the path to Your servant is long
and full of ruts and obstacles

Where Earth and Heaven unite
is far from my home
and I am weary of the road

Why do You allow Your servant
exiled, his work left in another's hands
forced away from those he served?

Answer me, oh Lord
for the path to Your servant is long
and I am weary of the road

In the silence of my heart
as my petulant cry died out
You answer me

I allow it for you and for him
for him to serve Me where it pleases Me
and it pleases Me greatly

To serve Me without distraction
far from the eyes of the world
far from those who love him so

For you to bring those you love to Me
never to forget that a man
yearned to stay with me

dadwithnoisykids

Kitty Pictures

Cattus Regina peeks out of her 'cave.' We made up several of these and put them on the back porch for her to select when the time came to give birth.

We will leave them around, since our cats tend to move the kittens every week or two. I put a heavy metal chair over the box, so no large animal could knock over the box.

Also, they would have little room to maneuver if they tried to enter the box - Regina would have an advantage in that fight.

















5 kittens





I, laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS!




The rarely functional 'Non Deere:'

Feast of Saints Cosmas and Damian

Today is the Feast of Saints Cosmas and Damien, both Patron Saints of Physicians. Other doctor saints include St. Raphael, St. Luke, St. Panteleon, St. Joseph Moscati, St. Gianna Molla, to name all those I can think of immediately. Then there's Jesus Himself, the Divine Physician.

From Catholic.org:

Sts. Cosmas and Damian were brothers, born in Arabia, who had become eminent for their skill in the science of medicine. Being Christians, they were filled with the spirit of charity and never took money for their services. At Egaea in Cilicia, where they lived, they enjoyed the highest esteem of the people. When the persecution under Diocletian broke out, their very prominence rendered them marked objects of persecution. Being apprehended by order of Lysias, governor of Cilicia, they underwent various torments about the year 283. Their feast day is September 26th. They are patron saints of pharmacists.

Yes, and Physicians, too.

Here is a rather tame picture of them:

Yawn. Smile for the artist, boys!

But for all you doctor types, how about a little medical action?

Okay, then. here are two pictures from books I have at home, showing a miracle attributed to them. The transplant of a leg from a dead man to another man. So they might as well be the Patron Saints of Transplant Physicians as well.



The 'donor' leg is the black one. It looks like a calf-length sock.

And again:




People don't appreciate a working epidural enough.

Here is Fra Angelico's version of the martyrdom of Cosmas and Damian and brothers:



Sorry for the amateur photography. I hope you can see the one guy is just swatting off heads as if they were flies.

Here is a typical modern physician:



Get rid of the cigarette, substitute a styrofoam cup for the china, and there you have him.

Not likely to be martyred, but very likely to be sued.

Not working for free, sometimes.

Trying to see Christ in all his patients, but more often cynical, impatient, haughty, sarcastic - all the attributes Christ doesn't want to see when He goes looking for us.

Praying for the wisdom and fortitude to care for his patients, and praying for the repose of the souls of his lost patients.

Most likely to fall asleep during a sermon, most likely needing to hear what the priest is saying.

Spending much of his time at work, thinking about work when at home, and needing to be reminded that it's just a job, not his vocation.

Thanking God for what still is a privilege - to be a doctor. To be an instrument of healing in God's hands.

dadwithnoisykids

A Most Curious Book Report

A couple of days ago, I read the youngest boy noisykids a couple of bedtime books. I gave them the option of picking one book per boy (that would be three). I told them I would pick a book if they did not. Rather than listening to The Two Towers, the boys picked a book about a friendly fish, a dog driving a car, and a monkey who visited the hospital. None of them were asleep by the time the books were done, so I started into the second part of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy – beginning with the Library of Congress Information, the copyright, the warning not to ‘reproduce this book’

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

As I picked up before leaving the bedroom, the monkey book fell, and it fell apart along the spine. I noticed several pages that had been stuck together and covered by the lining of the back cover of the book. Gently, I pried the back cover of the book, and discovered quite a different version of the story I had just read to my sons. It was heavily marked with pencil and pen, as if a child had colored over some of the drawings.

I briefly summarize the story with a couple of pictures and comments. It shows another side of the authors of the monkey books.


Here is the cover:





























The monkey swallowed a piece from a jigsaw puzzle: “Before he knew, he had swallowed it”





















He visited the doctor, who recommended surgery to remove the puzzle piece.



















Here he is entering the hospital.







This is where the story went strange. The guy dressed in yellow did not seem that interested in his monkey companion.

Notice how, while the monkey is being swarmed by nurses.......

...the yellow guy is talking to the nurse: “It gets lonely out there, hunting wild animals in the jungle....”

This continues, for several pages: “You really are good with monkeys, ma’am. Have you ever thought of joining a lonely conservationist, studying the common monkey in the....”

“Oh, sir, you are too kind!”

Some were not as receptive to his attention: “I’m going to surgery. Can’t talk now.”

The yellow guy was jealous of all the attention the monkey received.

He asked the monkey’s doctor for advice. “Be yourself. Do not try to be someone you are not. And bathe. You smell like monkey – a wet monkey!”

It seemed to work, as his friendship with one nurse grew over time.

Sadly, it was not to be. When the monkey left the hospital, the nurse rushed out to the car to return the ring the yellow guy had given her.

“Goodbye,” she said, “I am sorry to break this to you like this, but....”

“I’m going to marry a doctor, because...

DOCTOR’S WIVES
HAVE
GLAMOROUS LIVES!”

Crushed, the yellow man took the monkey home, not realizing the monkey had opened up the box with the ring in it.

“Before he knew, he had swallowed it”

I found this book to be disturbing but also explained why the yellow guy never seems to be with anyone other than the monkey. Sometimes our work runs our lives, and we find ourselves living to work, not working to live.



dadwithnoisykids

HABEMUS KITTENS and HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLDEST DAUGHTER

Habemus Kittens!

This morning, Cattus Regina had delivered at least four kittens! Pictures
after they get cleaned up a bit.

Cattus Regina is one of a series of cats who have lived with us. Other cats
include Cattus Rex, Caeli, Laetare, Lucia, Agnes, Felix Culpa,
Homewrecker(a.k.a. 'E.K.' for Evil Kitty) and many unnamed kittens who have
gone on to other homes - Or just wandered off to become coyote chow.

On an even greater note, today is the 15th Birthday of The Oldest Daughter
of the Noisykids!

We are so blessed to have her, as we are with all our children. After she
was born, we were told by many that we were 'done,' since we now had one of
each gender. Thankfully, we did not listen to those voices, and God has
blessed us abundantly. We are praying for more.

So please remember my oldest girl noisykid in your prayers today.

dadwithnoisykids

Birthday Greetings

Today is the birthday of Frodo and Bilbo Baggins, two of the main characters of the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Series of books by J.R.R. Tolkien. My oldest Noisykid pointed this out for me, and I thank him.

I read these books rather late in life. Back in 1977, I read a book which lampooned the Ring Series, and I was turned off from reading the original books. It wasn't until the eldest noisykid started to read them that I picked the books up and read them as well.

I have not seen any of the movies based on the book, for the same reason I did not see Mel Gibson's movie of the Passion. I prefer to have my own image of what I read, and I know that the memories of a movie would override those of my own imagination. In addition, my own memories would follow the storyline in the book better than any 2-hour movie would.

This reminds me that in the future, I will include some book reviews that I have lying around the house. Long ago I had the idea of reviewing books and distributing them to folks on my e-mail list. using the blog would be a better way to get some of my reviews out there.

Please pray for the Poor Souls in Purgatory today.

dadwithnoisykids

Encouragement To Keep On Bloggin'

Today I heard that song again, the one that made me realize that it is okay to blog. Hearing it again was like salve on an open wound.

But I am not going around humming,

“I’m just sitting in my car, waiting for my girl.”

Nope. My girl, wife of dadwithnoisykids, is in the living room.

Apparently Air America is selling that radio station I mentioned earlier.

dadwithnoisykids




































.

The Finger Snap Alleluia

Here she is, the proud pig. While we were enjoying coffee and cigars on the back porch, this little stuffed animal made this pyramid of cups.











But I prefer to think of her as the HERALD OF THE WACKY LITURGICAL INCIDENT




In this case, I recently went to a Mass where the 'Alleluia' was the 'Finger Snap Alleluia.'

Imagine someone clicking their fingers while singing Alleluia.

It sounded so bad, and I wanted to report it accurately, so I just had to look up the composer, Paul Inwood, on the Internet.

On his website, I listened to a short rendition of it again, and was struck with how much it sounded like a cross between the theme song from The Adams Family and one of the opening songs from The West Side Story. Since I am a bigger fan of The West Side Story, I could almost imagine the members of The Jets, suddenly strolling int the Church, interrupting Mass, clicking their fingers, and singing their own version of the Alleluia:

Cantor:
When you're a priest,
You're a priest all the way.
From your or-din-ay-shun,
'Til they cart you away!

You hold Our Lord,
In the palm of your hand!
Brother what could best that,
This is grander than grand!

Chorus:
The deacon is here,
The Bible he is holdin!'
Don't you disappear,
The hands better be foldin,'
Or we'll be scoldin'!!


...and so forth.

Anyways, this was just one of many wacky liturgical incidents which surrounded the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and made it hard for such a scatterbrained Catholic to concentrate on What Really Matters during the Mass.








This Moose was scandalized by the whole thing.



dadwithnoisykids

























UPDATE(SEPTEMBER 21, 2006): TRY THIS LINK TO HEAR THE FINGER SNAP ALLELUIA


Sorry.



.

DFW Catholic Radio

I just got this e-mail from the Guadalupe Radio Network, the folks who were
trying to set up a Catholic Radio Station in the Dallas-Fort Worth Area.
The thing that intrigues me the most is that I thought AM 910 was the local
Air America station. Could Air America be shutting down? Read on:

Dear Friend of DFW Catholic Radio:

It�s been months since I have communicated with some of you detailing the
plans
and progress of bringing Catholic Radio to the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex.
Back
in April of this year I joined the Guadalupe Radio Network (GRN) as General
Manager of the GRN�s nine Catholic Radio stations. Since then, we have been
working diligently to locate and purchase a Catholic Radio station in the
DFW
radio market.

For nearly ten years, many of us have waited eagerly for the day when
Catholic
Radio finally arrives on the airwaves of Dallas/Fort Worth.

On behalf of the many people who have devoted their time, talent and
treasure to
bring the Truths and beauty of the Catholic faith to north Texas, I humbly
and
joyfully announce that effective Sunday, October 1st, Catholic Radio will
begin
broadcasting both English AND Spanish language Catholic programming on 2
separate radio stations across north Texas! Both stations have received the
full
support of both Bishop Charles Grahmann of Dallas and Bishop Kevin Vann of
Fort
Worth.

Beginning October 1st, the home of English-language Catholic Radio
(broadcasting
24 hours a day) will be KXEB 910 AM, and the home of Spanish-language
Catholic
Radio (broadcasting from sunrise to sunset) will be KJON 850 AM. The
programming
will consist of the best Catholic apologetics, family and devotional shows
offered by the EWTN Global Catholic Radio Network and the Ave Maria Radio
Network. Plus, we will begin after the start of the new year a local, live
daily
Catholic program focusing on issues pertinent to north Texas Catholics. And
you
can rest assured that everything you hear on the GRN will be entirely
faithful
to the teachings of the Catholic Church.

On October 1st, Dallas/Fort Worth will become the home of both the largest
English-language Catholic Radio station (910 AM) and the largest
Spanish-language Catholic Radio station (850 AM) in the United States. For
the
first time ever, over five million people will have the opportunity to hear
the
Truth about the Catholic faith, from a Catholic perspective, free of charge
in
their cars, their homes and in their offices. These stations will educate
Catholics, dispel myths about the faith, explain critical Church teachings
and
lead many people to the Sacraments and parish life.

However, these stations will only survive with the support of many faithful
Catholics.....

<snip!>

From here on it becomes a request for prayers and donations. Rather than
turning my blog into an advertisement for anything more than the 'Gift
Shop,' I will direct you to their website.

Their website is www.grnonline.com

Their snail mail address is:

The Guadalupe Radio Network
P.O. Box 10571
Midland, TX 79702

I listened to the program in the past, when it was on for a couple hours on
KSKY AM 660, and it seemed pretty good. They interviewed a man who is now
in his second year of the seminary up in the Northeast US.

We shall monitor this....

dadwithnoisykids

Check Your Blind Spot

Try this little experiment I demonstrated to the Noisykids this evening. We got to talking about how the eye works, and since I am never one to let ignorance get in the way of a long-winded lecture, I launched into a brief discussion of the workings of the human eye. Truly a wonderful piece of God's creation.

There is a spot on the back of the eye(the retina) where the optic nerve(which transmits the 'signal' from the eye to the brain) comes out, and there are no cells, or sensors there to sense the image that is projected onto that part of the retina. This area is known as the 'blind spot,' because there is no image in this area. Of course we are not aware of it under most conditions, because our brain does a good job of filling in the picture. It often will use information received from the other eye to cover it over, but it can be revealed using a simple experiment. Children, get your parent's permission before proceeding.

Here is a way to discover your own blind spot.

Look at the LEFT picture of Mr. Moose.

Cover your LEFT eye.

Get close to the computer screen and CONCENTRATE on Mr. Moose's head.

You look really ridiculous.

Seriously, keep your eye on the LEFT Mr. Moose. You can see the RIGHT Mr. Moose out of the corner of your eye, right? DON'T LOOK AT HIM!

Keeping your eye on the LEFT Moose, slowly back your head away from the screen. At about 12 to 18 inches away, as when I was publishing this, the RIGHT HEAD OF MR. MOOSE WILL DISAPPEAR. This is your blind spot. As you pull away more, the Moose head will reappear, as it is no longer projected on the blind spot.

Do the same thing with your right eye - just do the right side instead of the left side.

I hope you enjoy this bit of fun anatomy lessons. The next question I fielded was about stomach stapling, so I will refrain from discussing it on this blog. I was trying to do this experiment with pictures of ducks, but I couldn't get the position right.

Don't tell Mr. Moose I used his picture twice - folks at the Gift Shop have been overcome with greed, and he might charge me.

dadwithnoisykids

A Little Fun After Sunday Mass

We had planned to bring the Roman Sacristan Board Game, for the children to play at the barbecue after Mass. We were in a rush trying to make it, and I forgot it. Mea Culpa. Hopefully next week. The children played chess instead.




Since we had all the necessary 'pieces,' some of us adults attempted a round of the 'Live' version of the Roman Sacristan Game.










Roman Sacristan stares down three determined players












Sadly, the game was rained out.


dadwithnoisykids

Beautiful Sunset, September 10, 2006

Shortly after sunset, I took this picture. There were rays of light spreading out from the orange glow. The camera on my cell phone/PDA/bottle opener/secret decoder ring does not do justice to the beauty of the sky that evening. I think God must put these things up to show us His magnificent glory.

Or maybe God is showing us that the Sonic drive-in restaurant in the foreground is as pleasing to Him as much as it is to me.

dadwithnoisykids

New Album Release from SSD/MetaltrAch

Only two weeks in prison, and he already has an album out!

Mr. Scorpion, who was arrested in San Antonio on September 2, 2006, for allegedly stealing a car, is proud to announce his first album:

From The County Jail

A collection of prison songs, sung by Mr. Scorpion, with backup singing by ‘The Lifers.’

From The County Jail



You will hear such favorites as, Is Anybody Goin’ to San Antone(Doug Sahm), Breakout(Thin Lizzie), Been Caught Stealin’(Jane’s Addiction), The Man in the Black Exoskeleton(Johnny Cash-Scorpion), The Male Scorpion Named Sue(Johnny Cash-Scorpion), and many others. Here are a sampling of the lyrics:


Bexar County Blues(Folsom Prison Blues)

I hear that jailer comin’
It’s dinnertime he said,
But I ain’t had a cricket
Since I don’t know when
I’m stuck in Bexar County
Dadwithnoisykids is gone
And he’ll never come and rescue
My tail from San Antone....


Soy de San Luis(A local favorite):

Found me a little Tejanita when I lived in Ann Arbor,
She was so bonita and I had to marry her.
Then I was called up by the Air Force, and we moved to San Antone,
It took thirty-two years to get here, but now Texas is home!

Little Scorpion(to the tune of Tom Dooley):

Hang down your head, little scorpion
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head lil’ scorpion
Poor boy you’re gonna fry

I went down to San Antone,
There I took a ride
Stole a little auto
Then I had to hide

The Lifers: Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and D'Artagnan

REPORT OF A FURRY BROWN CREATURE STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIG FURRY ANIMAL STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0154 ON SEPTEMBER 15 2006

SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD DALLAS COUNTY

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISIBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 65 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 1998 FORD EXPLORER WITH V-6 ENGINE NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA BETTER KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

OWNER OPERATED

SAFETY BELTS IN USE

SPEED 45 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED BROWN FURRY ANIMAL RUNNING IN ROAD ON COURSE PERPENDICULAR TO VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO EXTREME PROXIMITY OF FURRY CREATURE TO VEHICLE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT FURRY CREATURE RAN IN FRONT AND UNDER VEHICLE AND STRUCK FRONT UNDERSIDE OF VEHICLE

A LOUD THUNK SOUND WAS HEARD

CREATURE ASSUMED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURY

UNABLE TO ASSESS FURRY CREATURES CONDITION DUE TO URGENCY OF MISSION

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

VEHICLE INSPECTED AT COMPLETION OF MISSION

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE NOTED

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES

THIS IS THE FIRST REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKES WITH THE VAN BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

Video of the Dancing iPope Commercial

Video of the Dancing iPope Commercial

This is a funny thing from Jay Leno by way of the American Papist.

I am experimenting with doing things on the blog site.

Bear with me.

dadwithnoisykids

Humor - The Master

The Roman Sacristan: Humor - The Master

Check out this bit of Sacristan humor.

We used to do this with live incense coals.

dadwithnoisykids

Freaky First Friday Mass

This pig came by for a birthday celebration on the 12th of September. More on her later this month. Right now, it is time for

The Freaky First Friday Mass

We do not always attend the Latin Novus Ordo Mass. We do it for the same reason I occasionally order a hamburger well done: I gain a deeper appreciation for what I am missing; be it a medium rare hamburger or a Mass filled with reverence. It is also good for the noisykids to see why we drive to the ends of the earth to go to a Mass where the Real Presence is treated with respect. Therefore, there is no better time than a vacation to let the noisykids see what sometimes goes on at other churches.

In this report, I must start by saying that the critical parts of the Mass were done by the pastor of this particular parish with great reverence. It is not the priest who made this Mass qualify for a Freaky First Friday; rather, it was the organist. For dramatic effect, I shall refer to the organist as 'The Phantom.'

We were also a few minutes late, so we missed the opening hymn. We arrived during the first reading, and filed into the back pew. I am sad to say that our presence doubled the number of people attending Mass.

At the time for the offertory, a voice from the choir loft called out something unintelligible, which we realized after a moment that it was the name and number of the offertory song.

The organ began belting out a tune I had never heard before. None of the others was singing, as far as I could see. The noisykids were not living up to their names, as most were not even sure what was being sung. My wife finally found out where the song was in the hymnal: in with the other Lent and Christmas songs. Quite a strange selection for a Mass at the end of August.

Somewhere between the first and second verses, the music suddenly stopped.

All voices died down, and the Phantom roared out, "Come on, you all know the words!"

The music started over again.

I could not help myself. I leaned over and whispered in my wife's ear, "Nobody is getting to the consecration until we sing this song right!" She giggled, and I finished out the song by humming the tune. It was all I could do.

The rest of the Mass proceeded well, until the closing hymn. It was that wonderful song, A Mighty Fortress Is Our God, penned by that wonderful Benedictine (?) priest, Martin Luther. To me, this song will always be the theme song for that Claymation Classic, ‘Davey and Goliath.’ The very hint of the tune brings back memories of Goliath, the dog who was really the conscience of Davey, saying such lines as,

“Gee, Davey, I don’t think God wants you to disobey your mother and father and drive the car around town,”

or,

“Davey, why don’t you stop setting fire to the school? Is this what God wants you to do?”

This would always be followed by Davey giving some flimsy excuse for his actions. All these memories make it hard for me to sing this song with a straight face.

This was only the first of several notable things that happened at Mass while we were searching for the Scorpion who ran away. I hope you have not forgotten the Scorpion.

dadwithnoisykids

The Empty Sky

Yet another mediation on 9/11

From the Office of Readings for September 11, 2006:

Our God comes, He keeps silence no longer
Before Him fire devours,
Around Him tempest rages.
He calls on the heavens and the earth
To witness His judgment of His people.

Based on Psalm 50: 1-4

In 2001, we were living northwest of San Antonio, down a dead end country road at the foothills of the Hill Country. It was quiet, peaceful; no one came down the road without a reason. The sound of Interstate 10 was muted by several ranges of hills, spread out over three miles or more of countryside. Only the sound of aircraft broke the silence: commercial airliners headed into San Antonio’s airport, small private aircraft from a local grass strip or the C-5’s from Kelly Air Force Base. Even this noise stopped in the days following September 11, 2001, when all aircraft were grounded on President Bush’s order. The silence was a bit eerie, and since I am always searching the skies for aircraft out of habit, it was unnerving. The first aircraft I saw, several days later, a lone F-16, was a welcome sight for me.

September 11 was a bittersweet day for us; sweet because we were bringing home our newest Noisykid addition born on September 9. Bitter, because we had planned on my wife taking the whole day to rest and relax in a hospital room and then coming home shortly before midnight. We had gotten the mother of my children an executive suite, complete with an on-site chef, a private nurse, and a room bigger than our first apartment for her post-partum stay in the hospital. The plan was to take full advantage of this luxury before returning to our home. This plan was ruined by our pediatrician, who told my wife about what was happening in New York and the rest of the United States. Her nurses had decided to let her rest and not be bothered for the moment. They probably figured I would tell her later, so they were almost as upset as my wife was when our pediatrician told her.

We are still reeling from the effects of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. I think for many people, airline travel ceased to be a quick and relatively easy way to travel. The idea that a passenger airplane could be converted into a guided missile, with no concern for the crew or passengers, is something that will always give one second thoughts about flying. Many people saw for the first time how much the United States is hated: the terrorists were determined to kill themselves for a chance to kill Americans. I also know the economy took a huge hit, affecting how people spend and invest their money.

However, I am not here to write about economics. I believe the one thing that was not done sufficiently after 9.11 was to evaluate how our country has strayed from the path of righteousness upon which it was founded. The newspaper is full of examples of people who are committing all sorts of crimes that cry out to God for justice. In addition, our government is slowly changing the definition of the family and reducing the right to life at both ends of the spectrum, to name two examples. All of this is steering us down the wrong path.

It reminds me of an incident that happened in June 1987. At that time, I was a newly commissioned Second Lieutenant in the United States Air Force, and we were getting a bunch of lectures on how to eat, sleep, walk, and talk as an Air Force officer (most of it wore off). One afternoon, we were informed that our next speaker would be a retired General who had served not only in the Air Force, but also in the Space Program. We were told to be on our best behavior. The lecture was quite enjoyable, as the General told of his various adventures in the Air Force as well as his journey to the Moon. As he was wrapping up his presentation, he became serious. He reminded us that the Pledge of Allegiance includes the phrase ‘under God,’ and that our coins have the phrase ‘In God We Trust’ on them. He pointed out to us that the phrase was worthless if we did not live our lives under God and putting our trust in God. He also said that a country that did not live under God would one day fall, and those who serve in its Armed Forces would likely be the ones to suffer first. We were warned.

I wish I had remembered his name.

I think 9.11.2001 was another warning for what will happen if we do not work to make this country more pleasing to God. Looking back on the past 19 years since I heard that General’s warning, I would say I have failed, more by omission than by commission, to do my best to make this country a nation that is truly ‘under God.’ There are some things we have done.

Shortly after George W. Bush was elected president, we began praying daily for world peace and for the culture of life to prevail in the United States and in the World. We made a pledge to pray for these things as long as Bush is in office, but we plan to continue it. Every Monday, we pray for missionaries and for the conversion of the Moslems, the Jews, and the Mormons in particular. This is the best thing we can do to not only save our own country, but the world as well. The answers to our prayers are known to God alone.

Please pray for the repose of the souls of those killed in the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, especially those who died without receiving the Sacrament of Penance.

Please also pray for our dead soldiers, sailors, and airmen who have paid the ultimate price for our country, especially those who died without receiving the Sacrament of Penance.

Please pray for those who currently serve in the Armed Forces. It is sobering to me to know that the physicians I trained while on active duty are those who now are serving our country in the Middle East.

dadwithnoisykids
F-K 9.7
9.10.2006

Windfall Inheritance

Windfall Inheritance

I am expecting a large sum of money soon. I received an e-mail from a British woman who claims to be dying. She has decided to give me a portion of her estate before she dies.

Following her instructions to the letter, I sent the pertinent information to her attorney. Now I eagerly look forward to receiving my deposit into my bank account.

I am sure some of you think this is another scam, similar to the Nigerian Banker who wanted to use your account to transfer money to the United States. I already thought of that, and discovered the e-mail was only sent to me. The Nigerian Banker made the mistake of sending his request to far too many people, and so he had to choose one person. That person sent me an e-mail verifying that he did receive his portion of the transferred funds. These people have been so honest with me. I am proud to be working with such wonderful folks!

I plan on using some of the wealth to improve my blog, reduce our mortgage payment, and invest in programs that reduce internet fraud and scams.

Do not worry, I am certain that wealth will not change me.

dadwithnoisykids

Chicken Pox Lullabye

A song for my pox-covered little baby:

Chicken Pox Lullabye

Baby, Baby, little doll
Looks like you need Tylenol
I know that you're feeling ill
We shall give you Benadryl
Baby, baby little doll
You can rest with Tylenol.

For those of you from England:

Baby, baby, little doll
Have some paracetamol
Chicken pox itches so mean
Here's some diphenhydramine
Baby, baby, little doll
Rest with paracetamol.

dadwithnoisykids
9.7.2006

Check Out What's Hot in the Gift Shop:

SSD/MetaltrAch, Inc. presents the

The Roman Sacristan Game

From 2 to 92 years!

From 2 to 6 players!

Roll your vehicle and strike the Sacristan figure!

The first to complete a 'Novena' of Sacristan Strikes wins!

Fun for the Whole Family!!!

Comes with a selection of vehicles suitable for various states in life!

!!!!!!!
















Without Ecclesiastical Approval

SSD/MetaltrAch, Inc. advises all parents to play this game

together as a family, so that topics such as responsible driving

and running over Sacristans can be discussed in a non-threatening

manner that will not adversely affect your child's

self-esteem. And as always, don't drink and drive.

Enough already about the Roman Sacristan? We can only hope!

Scorpion Imprisoned!

A Mr. Scorpion, formerly of the Dallas County Scorpions, was arrested in Bexar County over the St. Labor Day Weekend.

Mr. Scorpion was the object of a small massive scorpionhunt covering all of Texas, starting Friday, headed by dadwithnoisykids and Mr. Moose.

More news to follow this week.

Mr. Scorpion, photographed at the Bexar County Jail, wants his side of the story told



a SSD/MetaltrAch Inc. file photo

Warning of Contagious VIRUS

WARNING:

IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPOSED TO CHICKEN POX, PLEASE CLOSE THIS WINDOW IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNGEST GIRL NOISYKID APPEARS TO HAVE CHICKEN POX BASED ON LOW GRADE FEVER, A RASH ON HER BODY, AND THE WAY SHE WAS OUTSIDE PECKING AT INSECTS.

IT IS NOT CLEAR THAT CHICKEN POX VIRUSES CAN BE TRANSMITTED VIA THE INTERNET, BUT I RECOMMEND NOT TAKING CHANCES.

My life is full of adventures. A missing Scorpion, a crowd of pilgrims who want to convert my van into a shrine, a Hedghog who went berserk when he found out he can't give his presentation today, now a daughter with a computer virus. All this while searching San Antonio for a runaway Scorpion.

PRAY FOR ME

dadwithnoisykids

Correction

I sent this last night, but got so emotional. So, I am submitting it again.

It pains me to know Scorpion is out there.

Big Blue Van
(sung to tune of 'Danny Boy')

Oh Big Blue Van
Your odor is of incense
No longer do you smell
Like one unclean
And now we wish to make you
always stay with us
To ride no more, nor
burn up gasoline.

But dadwithnoisykids
He has objections
For he needs you to
cart around his clan
We care not for the plight
of all those little noisykids
Instead we want to have
His blessed Van.

dadwithnoisykids

More Hymns

Another hymn.

It brougta tear to my eye.

Big Blue Van
(sung to tune of 'Danny Boy')

Oh Big Blue Van
Your odor is of incense
No longer do you smell
Like one unclean
And now we wish to make you
always stay with us
To ride no more, nor
burn up gasoline.

But dadwithnoisykids
He has objections
For he needs you to
cart around his clan
We care not for the plight
of all those little noisykids
Instead we want to have
His blessed Van.

d

While searching for Scorpion, I thought I would send a copy of one of the hymns sung by the pilgrims as they process around the van:

Roman Sacristan Hymn
(sung to the tune of the Lourdes hymn)

Verse 1:
The Roman Sacristan
Whose praises we sing
He ran into 'Big Blue'
Now check out this thing

Chorus:
Roman, Roman,
Roman Sacristan.
Roman, Roman
Sacristan

Verse 2:
The van smells of incense
The water runs pure
Come visit our gift shop
Or take our little tour

Chorus

Verse 3:
Come look at the water
Or just take a dip
Because of the health codes
Please do not take a sip

Chorus

Verse 4:
Give us all your money
And we'll buy Big Blue
We'll make it a shrine
To the Sacristan we knew

Chorus

Verse 5:
Donations accepted
But cash we like best
We don't take Discover
But will take the rest

Chorus

dadwithnoisykids

Hold onto your seats
I've something to say
One scorpion
has run away

No lecture on love
to read this week
I'm so upset
I cannot speak

We checked his lair
and his cell phone
we think he ran
to San Antone

So off we go
to bring him back
Hedghog is miffed
He blew his stack

dadwithnoisykids

testing
testing
testing

dadwithnoisykids