Spork Diary: Love and War

Here I am in the sleeve pocket of Mr. Snaggle-Tooth Garlic-Breath's flight jacket. He got this jacket when he was 'making the world safe for democracy.' Since he was on active duty during the Clinton's presidency, I have my doubts. I usually abstain from political commentary, but I could not resist this time.


Permit me to wish all of you a blessed St. Valentine's Day.

In the opinion of this spork, every day should be St. Valentine's Day for husbands and wives. Man should spend his day showing his wife how much he loves her; woman already does that.

A Flashback from the 70's

1974.

Ten years old.

This explains why those flashbacks can be painful at times.

I posted this on facebook, and thought I would put it on the blog for all of you who do are not 'facebook friends' with me. Not to worry if you are not.

That's me, third from left, decked out in purple and violet plaid bell bottom pants, contrasting striped shirt, and tortoise shell horned rimmed glasses. Tennis shoes - most likely by Converse - rounded out the ensemble. Of all the items of clothing, I miss the glasses the most, because they were indestructible - almost - and I abused the living daylights out of them. Nowadays my lenses cost more than the frames again because I wear bifocals which gradually change power. I wish I had a pair of these horn rimmed glasses to wear while working around the house.

While on active duty in the Air Force, I had a pair of issued glasses which were for deployments. They were commonly known as BCG's because they were so uncomplimentary that they would serve as a deterrent to the opposite sex. Mine looked like the glasses above with a little of the horned part smoothed off.

All of this brings to mind a conversation I had with my wife and oldest daughter recently. We got on the subject of 'girls I dated before I married your mother.' As I started to count the number of young women I dated, my daughter said, in amazement, "knowing what you look like, and your personality, HOW did you get all those girls to go on dates with you?"

I told her there was a simple explanation: I don't know.

God saved me for my beloved Carolyn.




*Who are the other gentlemen in the picture? Those are three of my brothers; from left is Fr. Denis, then Francis - my older brothers. To the right of me is my younger brother Matthew. My youngest brother Patrick was not due on the scene until 1978.

Bernard on a Rabbit Hunt

We start them early here in North Texas:

Our List of Companies

Furniture:
Amishtables.com
Vienna Woodworks


Rest Stops/Texas Souvenirs/Clean Bathrooms:
Buc-ee's

List of Worthwhile Articles

Here Marc and I enjoy a good read together(circa 2003 or 2004):


Here is a list of articles I have long wanted to compile for my edification. I shall put this blog entry eventually on the sideboard, so that folks do not have to search through my entries.

I also want to make a list of recommended restaurants, some day....

So here is one on education which I found useful for home schooling:

The Lost Tools of Learning

Thoughts on Jane Austen's Novel 'Persuasion'

Every year, about this time, Turbotax sends me their income tax CD so I can do my own taxes. By some happy coincidence my accountant's worksheet arrived the same day, so I took a few minutes(more like an hour) to run some hypothetical numbers.

Turbotax is really cool. As one starts to use the program, the amount owed or to be refunded is displayed in the upper left corner. The numbers are red if one owes money, and green if one should receive a refund. I enjoy using Turbotax to estimate how things will be this year, and as I put in all sorts of approximate data, I enjoy watching the numbers change. Wipe out my dependents, and my amount owed becomes huge. Donate a large sum to a fictitious charity, and watch the numbers turn green. Finally I got tired of playing, put in the correct numbers, and watched the numbers turn green and grow just a little. At this point I tossed the CD and finished filling out the CPA's papers.

Accountants and lawyers are two groups of people who have my respect and deepest appreciation. They know things which would never have occurred to me, and I have benefited greatly from their help. I was reminded of the service that lawyers and accountants have provided me today as I started reading Jane Austen's novel Persuasion. For those of you who live under a rock, Persuasion is the story of Anne Elliot, a woman who was persuaded to break off an engagement with her love because he had no prospects, no future, no wealth; in short, a nobody. But that is not what reminded me of lawyers. Like other Jane Austen novels, the side stories are sometimes more interesting than the main one. In this case, the novel opens up with Anne's father, Sir Walter Elliot, being informed that he has no money. He has to resort to drastic measures in order to pay off his creditors; he has to leave his home and take up residence in a smaller abode. There is a word in the book for it: 'retrench.' It sounds bad.

Since he can't afford to live on his estate, Sir Walter's LAWYER finds a tenant for it. The prospective tenant is the ideal candidate for Sir Walter's estate: married with no children. I would have to agree with this assessment. A wife will look after the house while the non-existent children will NOT destroy the furniture, draw and color on the walls, put holes in places where there were none before, flood every toilet, and dig up every plant in the garden. I am not speaking from personal experience here; I have heard that children can do these things even under close supervision.

(It reminds me of the time I tried to rent a house while I was a resident - I still recall the change in the landlady's voice when I mentioned the ages of my four children. Even more painful was renting a house with ten children. But I digress.)

There is only one drawback to the tenant, and that is where my thoughts and sentiments and sympathy diverge from those of Sir Walter Elliot. Until he said these words, I thought that Jane Austen was describing me completely. In the eyes of Sir Walter, the prospective tenant is unacceptable because he is an admiral of the Royal Navy, recently home from the sea during a lull in the action. Sir Walter summarizes his regard for the military as follows:

"...it is in two points offensive to me; I have two strong grounds of objection to it. First, as being the means of bringing persons of obscure birth into undue distinction, and raising men to honours which their fathers and grandfathers never dreamt of; and, secondly, as it cuts up a man's youth and vigour most horribly; a sailor grows old sooner than any other man."

Never mind the second point; it is the first that struck me. You see, I was one of those who benefited greatly from serving in the Armed Forces. While I did not raise myself into undue distinction(someone said I did do the best imitation of Yoda they had ever heard), I did have the honor and privilege to care for our country's airmen, soldiers, sailors, their dependents, and retirees. I shall be forever grateful for the opportunity that I received from the United States Air Force. I am also grateful that other folks in Persuasion defend the soldiers and sailors of England. Bravo!


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


As an aside, I commented to Carolyn that Jane Austen had a lot of run-on sentences in Persuasion. I read her one of the sentences which made up the majority of a large paragraph. Carolyn pointed out that Persuasion was published after her death, and so the usual editing was probably not done. I was relieved to hear that, because for a while I thought I was reading the works of Henry James, or even Amanda McKittrick Ros - the inspiration for writing my Bad Poetry.

I wish I could write like Jane Austen, but for now, I have to struggle to attain the heights of heuristic holisticity happened upon by Amanda McKittrick Ros.

Avatar Craze Hits Home

Yes, we have been forced by peer pressure to join the ranks of people
who are just nuts about this movie 'Avatar.' I picked this up at the
local 'Parents R Us' store:

San Antonio, Texas. Summer 2009.

Here is a little photo montage which Carolyn made of a visit we made to San Antonio, our old home town. This was in late June/early July, 2009:

Christmas Eve 2009 Video

Here it is. Facebook's new privacy regulations made it impossible to embed in the sidebar, so we uploaded it to YouTube instead. Enjoy:

Stethoscopes

What one finds in the back of the locker....

Tower

A construction tower at the hospital expansion. Taken out of the sunroof of the Ford Escape.

Spork Diary: I Go To Work

Today was 'Take Your Spork To Work Day' in the United States. Mr. Halitosis Breath kept me in his briefcase until lunchtime.

For lunch, he had 'Orange Chicken' with rice and an egg roll. I don't associate with egg rolls, so I can't comment on what that was like. The chicken was drowning in some sort of sauce with little pieces of orange peel in it. Ewwwwww. It was like playing with marmalade. The rice was dry and tasteless.

I prefer the quiet solitude of the briefcase.

I was supposed to go to a wedding last weekend, but old crooked teeth had to stay home and watch the sick children. A likely excuse.

Here I am with the orange chicken and rice. I do not know where the egg roll is.

Bernard's Birthday Video

Here it is. Enjoy:

Bad Poetry About Flowers

Not Enough Flowers

There aren't enough flowers in the world
to give to you

for all the times I was a jerk
and you were sweet anyways

for all the times you made me smile
and made our home Heaven on Earth

for every sacrifice you made
and every child you gave me

and every other thing you have done
that makes me thank God for you.



SMD
1.8.2010

Spork Diary

My work began January 2, 2010, when I was used in a sample of gourmet
mashed potatoes. Rather than tossing me in the trash with the wax
cup, this lunatic kept me, washed me, and decided to keep a log of my
activities over the next year. That is assuming I last that long....

Was It Something I Ate?

Last night I dreamed that Mass was at a church where Louisiana
Governor Bobby Jindahl(sp?) was the deacon, incense was being tossed
onto open flame bowls carried by altar servers dressed up like Kabuki
theater players, and all the lights were orange. The church bulletin
had built-in Internet access and I spent most of Mass 'googling'
things which caught my fancy and listening to music on iTunes.

Family Photograph and Birthday Greetings

Here is a photograph from Christmas Day. One can imagine the challenge of getting us all facing the camera....I am going to include this in the photographs commemorating our 20th anniversary.

Front Row: Genevieve(12) holding Bernard(11 months), Marcellinus(8), Cornelius(9), and Maximilian(6)
Middle Row: Carolyn(young), ZelieLouisa(4) held by Bernadette(18), Benedict(13), Jacinta(11), Stephen(old)
Back Row: Augustine(14), Nathaniel(16 today, 12.30.2009!), Dominick(19)


We are blessed with all of our children. Today is especially wonderful, because today we celebrate the birthday of Nathaniel, who turns 16 today. A driver's license will be following shortly, I am sure.

Thoughts While Driving Home Through Freezing Rain

"...Now he's back at home and happy
Just to see the kids.

I wish that I could really tell you
All the things that happened to me
And all that I have seen.
A world full of people their hearts full of joy,
Cities of light with no fear of war,
And thousands of creatures with happier lives,
And dreams of a future with meaning and no need to hide."

Composed by Tony Banks

In your charity of prayers, please pray for the repose of the soul of Frank P., who died on December 29, 2009. He was the father of a friend of mine.

May his soul, and all the souls of the faithful departed, rest in peace.

On a positive note, I now have 20 people who follow my blog!

Happy Feast of St. Stephen

Here is a Benjamin S392 .22 cal. air rifle with a newly installed
'peep' sight. All sighted in and ready to fire!

Speaking of fire, here are the top two videos we have put on YouTube. The first shows Benedict shooting an air rifle. It has nearly 11,000 views:



Then I am in second place, with almost 6,000 views. Be vewy quiet:

Pentimento, THE FINAL CHAPTER

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!


Two videos for your enjoyment, Linda!

First the School room, guest bedroom, kitchen, dining room, living room:



Next, the hallway, laundry room, master bedroom with a cameo of Bernard sleeping, master bathroom, boy's and girl's bedrooms and bathrooms.

Enjoy!

Prayer Request on the Eve of Christmas

In your charity of prayers, please pray for the father of a friend of mine, who is very sick in an intensive care unit(ICU).

My friend has always been there for me and for our family, and he is also devoted to his father. Please pray for a quick recovery, and for strength for my friend and his family as they deal with this very difficult situation.

Thank you, God bless you, and Merry Christmas.

Pentimento, Part VIII - The End of the Road?

Here are some pictures of the outside of the house after Nathaniel decorated it. Pardon my iPhone and the low quality pictures.

Here is the outside of the house:


Here is a detail of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph at the Nativity. Jesus will be lit up for Christmas.


Here is Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation, flanked by a couple of lighted trees:




A detail of The Blessed Mother, showing that Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation needs a new coat of paint:


Seeing as how this is a Texas manger scene, there just has to be a John Deere tractor close by the manger.

Beer and a Stray Dog

BEER

I drink about one beer every couple of years, and on a whim - and knowing I was not on call tonight, not driving anywhere tonight, and was a few feet away from my bed - I thought I would indulge in a bit of Shiner Bock.

I was inspired just before midnight, with the older kids milling about and helping Carolyn with putting up the permanent decorations on the walls. We haven't even begun to decorate the inside for Christmas.

Outside, Nathaniel put up Christmas lights.

Anyways, shortly before midnight, one of the kids said we should make a run to Wendy's for some hamburgers as a way to end the Friday meat abstinence. This reminded me of a song, appropriately called 'Beer Run,' which I shall include in this blog entry:

BEER RUN

B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer run

all we need is a ten and five-er,
a car and key and a sober driver.

B-double E double R U-N beer run

A couple of frat guys from Abilene
drove out all night to see Robert Earl Keen
at the KPIG Swine and Sworea Dance.
They wore baseball caps and khaki pants.
They wanted cigarettes, so to save a little money they bought one off this hippie that smelled kinda funny.
And next thing they knew they were both pretty hungry and pretty thirsty too


B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer ru-unn

All we need is a ten and five-er,
car and key and an able driver.

B-double E double R U-N beer run

They found a store with a sign that said
their beer was coldest.
So they sent in Brad 'cause he looked the oldest.
He got a case of beer and a candy bar, walked over to where all the registers are
laid his fake I.D. on the counter top.
The clerk looked, and turned to look back up and stopped.
He said "Son, I ain't gonna call the cops, but I'm gonna have to keep this card"
the guys both took it pretty hard.

B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer ru-un

oh how happy we would be-
had we only brought a better fake I.D.

B-double E double R U-N-beer run

They met another old hippie named
Sleepy John, claimed to be the one from the Robert Earl song.
So they gave him all their cash-he bought em some brews.
Was a beautiful day out in Santa Cruz
They were feelin' so good it shoulda been a crime.
The crowd was cool, and the band was prime.
They made it back up front to their seats just in time to they could sing with all their friends "the road goes on forever
and the party never ends".

B-double E double R U-N beer run

all we need is a ten and a five-er
car and key and a sober driver.

B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer run

sung by Todd Snider

There are lots of references to things Texas in that song. I personally credit Robert Earl Keen with helping me NOT take a job in Corpus Christi. That's a long story for another time.

After a few sips, I started looking around for something to marinate in the remaining beer.

THE STRAY DOG

We have another dog. I promised myself I would never get another dog again. This one was forced on me.

The children reported seeing a dog on our property. It was a boxer, and I did what I could to get rid of it. I tried yelling, blowing a whistle, screaming, and growling - all to no avail.

I considered other options, but kept on coming back to the 'Old Yeller' solution. It seemed so neat, so final, so - but then the children weighed in. They wanted to keep the animal.

My wife called the sheriff, who called the animal control officer. He came out and looked over the dog, but said that the county had reached its quota of dogs for the year. He would be happy to pick it up in January. He said our county, which was just south of Dallas county, had become the dumping ground for unwanted pets. With the economy taking a dive, we should be expecting more dogs roaming our property, he said.

"But what should we do with this dog?" Carolyn asked him.

"Anything you want," he said, with a smile.

Back to the 'Old Yeller' solution.

Then I realized that the best way to get rid of a dog was to embrace it fully, feed it, de-louse it, and make it a part of the family. No dog stays around our house after it gets that kind of attention from us. For just the price of a 50-pound bag of dog food, I could drive this animal out of our lives. No mess, no fuss, no worry about whatever might be downrange from a ricocheting Winchester 30-30 slug.

So, rather than terrorizing the neighborhood with firearms, I went out and bought that 50-pound bag of dog food. I also bought some of that stuff which kills ticks and fleas. I decided to do this after patting the dog on the head. I felt a lot of little knobby things all over its head, and on closer inspection I realized they were large ticks.

The children named it 'Winter,' which seemed fitting. Winter eventually passes into Spring.

Attempted Religious Humor

We are running our tails off, trying to complete the house renovation before Christmas - so we can start preparing for the birth of Christ. There will be more pictures of the house, maybe even another video tour ("Is it beautiful, Linda?). For now blogging is on the back burner.

I could not resist the title of this book as it appeared on my LibraryThing home page:

The Seven Capital Sins by Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration

Well, I thought it was funny.

Below is a picture of Bernard before he got his bilateral myringotomy and grommet insertion ("ear tubes") last Friday. He did well, although the other children expected tubes hanging out of his ear canals.

Prayer for the Dead, December 1, 2009

Fifteen years ago, December 1, 1994, in Ann Arbor, Michigan, I lost three friends and colleagues when the helicopter they were flying in crashed. The NTSB report of the incident can be found here.

I ask you to pray for the repose of the souls of:

Richard 'Rick' Elliott, Pilot
Janice 'Jan' Nowacki-Tobin, RN, Flight Nurse
Terry Racicot, DO, Flight Physician

I flew as a Flight Physician from January 1994 until June 1996, while in residency and fellowship. At the time of the crash, I was doing an 'away' rotation at the hospital where this helicopter was based. I recall hearing the helicopter lift off, and I remember thinking that I would be working a shift the next evening. There are many times I have considered that I could have been the doctor on that flight, and that I would have left behind four children and a very pregnant wife. I thank God for sparing my life then and several times since then.



Rick was also known as 'Captain America' because of his love for his country. He was an Army Veteran, as were most of the pilots, and was an excellent pilot. He also had a dry sense of humor. I recall, after a rather turbulent ride with a sick patient, that he told me something that I shall never forget. He said, while laughing, "Steve, sometimes I am just as much a passenger on this helicopter as you are." I never got that impression while flying with him. He left behind a wife and several beautiful daughters.

Jan was also known as 'Sky Princess.' This nickname was printed on the back of her helmet. She was an excellent nurse. She left behind a husband and a son and a daughter. Whenever things looked bleak, she always had a way of expressing her exasperation which I still recall, and it reminds me to pray for her.

Terry was someone I did not know well, since we never flew with another physician. I only knew the doctors who were residents with me. Usually our only contact was as we passed off the pager and the keys to the call room.

At the top is a picture of N217MM, the primary helicopter. Below is a video of an Augusta 109 warming up and taking off in Switzerland. It took about two minutes for the engine and all systems to warm up for flight, and that gave us time to get a preliminary report on the patient we were picking up, or the accident scene we were flying to. I also had time to pray an act of contrition and the prayer to my guardian angel.



Thank you for your prayers.