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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Beer and a Stray Dog


I drink about one beer every couple of years, and on a whim - and knowing I was not on call tonight, not driving anywhere tonight, and was a few feet away from my bed - I thought I would indulge in a bit of Shiner Bock.

I was inspired just before midnight, with the older kids milling about and helping Carolyn with putting up the permanent decorations on the walls. We haven't even begun to decorate the inside for Christmas.

Outside, Nathaniel put up Christmas lights.

Anyways, shortly before midnight, one of the kids said we should make a run to Wendy's for some hamburgers as a way to end the Friday meat abstinence. This reminded me of a song, appropriately called 'Beer Run,' which I shall include in this blog entry:


B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer run

all we need is a ten and five-er,
a car and key and a sober driver.

B-double E double R U-N beer run

A couple of frat guys from Abilene
drove out all night to see Robert Earl Keen
at the KPIG Swine and Sworea Dance.
They wore baseball caps and khaki pants.
They wanted cigarettes, so to save a little money they bought one off this hippie that smelled kinda funny.
And next thing they knew they were both pretty hungry and pretty thirsty too

B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer ru-unn

All we need is a ten and five-er,
car and key and an able driver.

B-double E double R U-N beer run

They found a store with a sign that said
their beer was coldest.
So they sent in Brad 'cause he looked the oldest.
He got a case of beer and a candy bar, walked over to where all the registers are
laid his fake I.D. on the counter top.
The clerk looked, and turned to look back up and stopped.
He said "Son, I ain't gonna call the cops, but I'm gonna have to keep this card"
the guys both took it pretty hard.

B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer ru-un

oh how happy we would be-
had we only brought a better fake I.D.

B-double E double R U-N-beer run

They met another old hippie named
Sleepy John, claimed to be the one from the Robert Earl song.
So they gave him all their cash-he bought em some brews.
Was a beautiful day out in Santa Cruz
They were feelin' so good it shoulda been a crime.
The crowd was cool, and the band was prime.
They made it back up front to their seats just in time to they could sing with all their friends "the road goes on forever
and the party never ends".

B-double E double R U-N beer run

all we need is a ten and a five-er
car and key and a sober driver.

B-double E double R U-N beer run
B-double E double R U-N beer run

sung by Todd Snider

There are lots of references to things Texas in that song. I personally credit Robert Earl Keen with helping me NOT take a job in Corpus Christi. That's a long story for another time.

After a few sips, I started looking around for something to marinate in the remaining beer.


We have another dog. I promised myself I would never get another dog again. This one was forced on me.

The children reported seeing a dog on our property. It was a boxer, and I did what I could to get rid of it. I tried yelling, blowing a whistle, screaming, and growling - all to no avail.

I considered other options, but kept on coming back to the 'Old Yeller' solution. It seemed so neat, so final, so - but then the children weighed in. They wanted to keep the animal.

My wife called the sheriff, who called the animal control officer. He came out and looked over the dog, but said that the county had reached its quota of dogs for the year. He would be happy to pick it up in January. He said our county, which was just south of Dallas county, had become the dumping ground for unwanted pets. With the economy taking a dive, we should be expecting more dogs roaming our property, he said.

"But what should we do with this dog?" Carolyn asked him.

"Anything you want," he said, with a smile.

Back to the 'Old Yeller' solution.

Then I realized that the best way to get rid of a dog was to embrace it fully, feed it, de-louse it, and make it a part of the family. No dog stays around our house after it gets that kind of attention from us. For just the price of a 50-pound bag of dog food, I could drive this animal out of our lives. No mess, no fuss, no worry about whatever might be downrange from a ricocheting Winchester 30-30 slug.

So, rather than terrorizing the neighborhood with firearms, I went out and bought that 50-pound bag of dog food. I also bought some of that stuff which kills ticks and fleas. I decided to do this after patting the dog on the head. I felt a lot of little knobby things all over its head, and on closer inspection I realized they were large ticks.

The children named it 'Winter,' which seemed fitting. Winter eventually passes into Spring.


Enbrethiliel said...


Good luck with Winter! =)

(I'm not sure, though, whether you prefer good luck in getting him to stay or good luck in getting him to run away! =P)

Catholic Mom of 10 said...

We have a new black labrador 8 weeks old called Toby to go with our yellow lab called Charlie!
Very happy Christmas to you all..

MightyMom said...

uh-huh, I smell Christmas present and Winter wearing a bow and a big smile!!

dadwithnoisykids said...

Folks on Facebook liked this one, too.

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