February's Question Revisited

A year after I asked you, Lord,
I am back again at February
older, heavier, slower,
running faster than I ever thought possible

When I have come one year further,
the shadow of my life stretching
away from me, when others have
finished with this chapter of life

I ask the question again.

For the gifts You once gave me
coming to us easier
than falling out of a tree
then taken for granted

Presumed to be automatic
then withheld from me
now desired rather
than just accepted

Despite my failings
my unworthiness
my selfishness
every reason to give up

And say I'm through
gave it my best shot
joining the others waiting
for grandchildren.

But could You see to it
that instead I could be
the oldest father in the crying room
adorned with epaulets of wet burp
On my nicest suit jacket?

Labeled as a fool
in the eyes of the world - again
granted the only title
that will outlast my lungs

No longer Lieutenant, Professor,
Captain, Doctor, Major
or the omnipresent Mister
but rather
a chance to be Daddy once more?

SMD
2/1/07