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Friday, October 09, 2009

An Open Letter to the Development Office

Dear Sir or Madam:

Thank you for your recent request for financial support for [insert university name here]. As an alumnus of your fine institution, I believe it is proper that I should contribute to the growth and prosperity of the institution which laid the foundation for my education and career in medicine. I have given what I could in the past in order to help other students at [insert university name here].

Unfortunately, I shall not include your institution on my list of charitable donations for 2009. I came to this decision after much thought and after reading the latest newsletter which described the showing of a certain play on campus. This play, which was sponsored by the College of Literature, Science, and Arts, is sometimes referred to as the 'V Monologues.' I shall not go into any details about the play; there is sufficient publicity regarding the many controversies which surround this play. What matters now is that my money will not be used to support a university which would promote such garbage.

In the future my contributions which would have been directed toward [insert university name here] will be sent to another liberal arts college - one which strives to uphold the dignity of both man and woman.

I would wish you continued success in your mission of higher education; sadly, I cannot in the current situation.

Sincerely, etc.

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Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation
Now restored with the help of some cement!

Prayer to Our Lady of the Mysterious Decapitation

Mary my mother, take my hand today, and all days.
Lead me away from all occasions of sin.
Guide me in fulfilling your last words in the Gospel,
"Do whatever He tells you."

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