Relevant Quotes for Today

LibraryThing likes to tell me things on the sideboard of my Home Page I have with them. Today, July 25, they told me that it is the anniversary of the death of Thomas á Kempis. He died today in 1471.

It is nice to be reminded of this, as I am in the process of doing St. Louis de Monfort's 33-day preparation for consecration to Jesus through Mary. St. Louis quotes a lot from Thomas a Kempis' excellent book Imitation of Christ. Here is the excerpt for the 11th day:

Imitation of Christ, by Thomas á Kempis: Book 1, Chapter 25
On the Fervent Amendment of our Whole Life

When a certain anxious person, who often times wavered between hope and fear, once overcome with sadness, threw himself upon the ground in prayer, before one of the altars in the Church and thinking these things in his mind, said "Oh, if I only knew how to persevere," that very instant he heard within him, this heavenly answer: "And if thou didst know this, what would thou do? Do now what you would do, and thou shall be perfectly secure."

And immediately being consoled, and comforted, he committed himself to the Divine Will, and his anxious thoughts ceased. He no longer wished for curious things; searching to find out what would happen to him, but studied rather to learn what was the acceptable and perfect will of God for the beginning and the perfection of every good work.

A great quote, which gives a solution to St. Augustine's problem with conversion - he knew what he had to do, but he just couldn't do it.

The next quote is not from someone known for his holiness, but it bears repeating:

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Groucho Marx

Homestyle Surgery - WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES

Occasionally we have an injury around the house which can't wait until we can get to the big city and get it fixed by one of them there city specialist type doctors. In this case, I have to rely on my dusty old skills which were honed last century while caring for patients in the wilds of Detroit and other areas west of there.

Take this monkey, for instance. He sustained a separation of his posterior cervical midline suture line, resulting in a moderate dehiscence of his underlying integumentary tissue. In short, he burst a seam on the back of his neck and some of the stuffing came out. On a Friday night, this couldn't wait until the city slickers were back in their offices Monday morning.

Despite the seriousness of his injury, his spirits appear good; but to my trained eye the anxiety is all too apparent.


A cursory examination reveals a loss of integrity of his hide. This must be fixed right away!



After a thorough history, I examine the patient, listening to his heart and lungs. I realize he has cataracts, but I can't do anything about them today.


The airway of the monkey is thoroughly assessed, insuring that the monkey can breath while lying on his tummy:


After seeing to the patient, I quickly assemble the items needed for surgery. Most are in my black bag which was my constant companion as I trod the pavement of Northeast Detroit. Well, actually, it was another bag, but it held the same kind of stuff....



Hey! I find all those stethoscopes which I thought I had lost at the hospital years ago. They look like a mess of rattlesnakes all curled together for the wintertime:


I find the 'single drug' anesthetic which I love so much: the hammer. It comes in two doses - large or small - depending on which side of the hammer you strike on the patients head.



After administering the anesthetic, I roll the monkey prone - on his tummy - for the surgery:

Surgical instruments give me good exposure of the interior of the monkey. The wound is explored, verifying that deeper structures have not been injured or contaminated with dirt or small toy parts.


Another view, with a hemostat used to remove a small toy from inside the monkey:


Thick, strong thread is used to bring the edges of the wound together, and within minutes of completion of the operation, the monkey is awake and ready to go back to whatever he was doing before we noticed the stuffing coming out of his neck.

It is work such as this which makes me glad I became a doctor!

What I Learned On Vacation

This, by the way, is Post #801 on this blog.

During my week on vacation, a few lessons were hammered into my head. Read and learn from my experience:

1. Spilling Chardonnay on an Apple iMac notebook will kill the laptop computer - especially if the brand of chardonnay is named 'Die Apfeldammerung.'

2. Children who are taught to play 'Blackjack' will substitute matchbox cars for the pennies you used when you taught them.

3. Fireworks called 'Explodo' will do just that.

4. A shotgun called 'Persuader,' and is commonly referred to as a 'streetsweeper' is not effective for shooting skeet.

5. My children take after their mother - they are fearless of heights and other dangerous things in a two story house.

6. A 17-month old toddler can make beautiful music while crawling on the piano keys.

7. By the grace of God, Carolyn and I celebrated 21 years of married life last week. I am still amazed - and thankful - that she married me in the first place, and thank her for that fact every day.

8. God brought rain to north Texas last week to keep me from doing outside work.

9. I make an awesome slide show if I do say so myself.

10. I discovered a new and totally morally acceptable form of ART (assisted reproductive technology) which I plan on implementing soon, very soon. Bear with me.

Consider that, using the motto of the Benedictine Order (Ora et Labora - Prayer and Work for those of you who slept through Latin class), one can not just pray for something when there is a need to be met. In the process of begging God for another child, there are some things which can be done to increase the chances of having more. There are some good examples of this which we have seen even among our friends and relations. One example is buying a subcompact car immediately after getting married; this usually results in the mother having twins, or at least a lot of children in rapid succession. Another is signing a mortgage for a house of ANY size; scientific studies have shown that this increases the fertility of the woman by a factor of one thousand. I am sorry but I cannot remember the reference for this last statement, but I know it is true so you can believe it.

All of these therapies work with the younger couples, but the older couples are not without some means of increasing fertility without resorting to methods best described as 'animal husbandry.' For the middle-aged parents, there is one thing which is sure to work:

A sports car.

A sports car for Daddy.

Ford Mustang

V-8 Engine.

Overdrive.

Manual transmission

Stereo speakers everywhere.

Room for my wife and I in front, and two car seats for the twins in back.

I know this will be a sacrifice, but I am willing to make it for the family. As always, I am only thinking about what is best for the family.