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Friday, August 01, 2008

First Friday Thoughts

Number 1:

Today begins week #15 for the pregnancy of Wifeofdadwithnoisykids. In the same manner that we eagerly await February 2nd with its emergence of the groundhog out of his lair to tell us we have more Winter to come, the start of week #15 usually means that the the 24/7 morning sickness has ended.

That is, if it's a boy.

So, with my wife sitting in a rocking chair behind me, trying to hold down dinner while reading to Noisykid #12, the odds of this being a girl just got higher.

Number 2:

We went to Mass tonight - 'we' being Mom, Dad, and those Noisykids who were not at work or visiting friends this evening. I went straight from work, and so I had a few minutes in the pew to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy before the rest of the family arrived. At some point I was distracted, and I began to meditate on the inadequacies of my Blackberry.

As the Noisykids trooped into the pew, the younger ones who were wearing Crocs sat down and proceeded to take off their shoes. Each of them began to conduct some rather involved foot care, starting with removing stuff from between their toes. My wife pointed this out to me, and asked me to get them all to put their shoes back on - after I put my own socks and boots back on.

Number 3:

I have said it before, but it bears saying again: All Noisykids come with a built-in soundtrack. I was reminded of this fact when the youngest air-breathing Noisykid started humming loudly during the Consecration. She was considerate enough to cover her mouth so it wasn't too loud.

Number 4:

Trying to keep order in the pew reminded me of an idea that I have been tossing around. I think there may be a big demand for it, too.

I propose to develop 'Ritalin Darts.' Imagine the way to settle that unruly child from a safe distance. All you need is an airgun, a keen eye, and a Ritalin-tipped dart to restore order in the house. I know a few Noisykids who could benefit from it....
Ritalin Darts are only available by prescription. If you are concerned about possible interactions with other drugs, ask your doctor, pharmacist, or gun dealer. See package insert for complete information, or look at our website, RitalinDarts.com.

1 comment:

Matt Doyle said...

Brilliant! Why only anti-psychotics in depot preparations? And with regards to anti-psychotics, why not in dart form? It would save an awful lot of paperwork this side of the pond...

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