REPORT OF VEHICLE STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A VEHICLE STRIKE

DECLASSIFIED 22 APRIL 2010

APPROXIMATELY 2200 ON 8 DECEMBER 2009

SOUTHBOUND ON HIGHWAY 12 AT SPUR 408 CUTOFF IN DALLAS COUNTY TEXAS

WEATHER OVERCAST WITH VISIBILITY UNDETERMINED CEILING UNDETERMINED FEET AND 36 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 2005 FORD 15 PERSON VAN SIXTY-ONE PAPA WITH V-10 ENGINE ALSO KNOWN AS BIG BLUE

MILEAGE 82000 MILES

OWNER OPERATED

12 ADDITIONAL SOULS ON BOARD

SPEED APPROXIMATELY 60 MILES PER HOUR

SIXTY ONE PAPA STRUCK ON LEFT REAR FENDER BY FORD F ONE FIFTY PICKUP TRUCK SWERVING AROUND VAN AT HIGH SPEED

DRIVER NOTED OTHER VEHICLE LEFT REAR VIEW MIRROR DEFORMED AND IN PROCESS OF SEPARATION FROM PICKUP BODY AS SAID VEHICLE PASSED SIXTY ONE PAPA

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS AND ROAD CONDITIONS

NO LOSS OF VEHICLE CONTROL

DRIVER INITIATED PURSUIT IN ORDER TO RECORD LICENSE PLATE NUMBER AND EXCHANGE INSURANCE INFORMATION WITH OTHER DRIVER

PICKUP ACCELERATED AWAY FROM SCENE AT VELOCITY IN EXCESS OF SPEED LIMIT

AFTER DOCUMENTATION OF LICENSE NUMBER DRIVER BROKE OFF PURSUIT AND INSPECTED SIXTY ONE PAPA FOR DAMAGE

SLIGHT DAMAGE TO LEFT REAR FENDER NOTED

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING VANS

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

Weekend Thoughts

I took the Armadillo for a shakedown cruise this afternoon. It had been running a bit rough lately, and I had some work done on it in anticipation of the drive to Mass in Greenville on Sunday. It was still acting up, so we would have to attend Mass closer to home.

The Big Blue, our 15-passenger van, is in the shop getting a fender replaced. THAT is a story I can't really tell, for Carolyn asked me to stop publishing vehicle strikes. That is too bad, because it is kind of fun describing how various creatures have a tendency to collide with our vehicles. Why, just last weekend, the same weekend the van got hit in a parking spot at Cha-Cho's, a bird struck the Armadillo at 65 miles per hour. There is nothing like the sound of a bird colliding with a car at high speed….

Back to the shakedown cruise. There I was, driving along with two of my daughters – the middle ones – listening to Paul Anka singing that that old Billy Idol song, “Eyes Without a Face.” It was just bizarre, yet it seemed to make sense, seeing as how Billy Idol recently made an album of Christmas favorites. Still, I can’t imagine old Billy singing ‘Ave Maria,’ complete with his permanent sneer. The song also seemed to fit in with a lot of the strange goings on from the past few days in North Texas.

To begin with, we got an interesting prayer card this week from the American Life League. At first I wanted to toss it, but then I got to thinking. Impeachment is highly unlikely - recall the last time we tried to impeach the president, and wishing ill of someone is not charitable. So it makes a lot of sense to pray for our president's conversion. Another reason to pray for the conversion of our president is because real charity is willing the ultimate good for another, and the ultimate good is to go to heaven. Consider that the executioner of St. Charles Lwanga(above, with companions) later converted to the Faith. Consider how St. Paul goes from being a hunter of Christians to being one of the greatest Saints. Also contemplate this quote from St. Thomas More, where he expresses a desire to see his persecutors in Heaven with him one day:

"More have I not to say but like as the blessed Apostle St. Paul, as we read in the Acts of the Apostles, was present, and consented to the death of St. Stephen, and kept their clothes that stoned him to death, and yet be they now both twain holy saints in heaven, and shall continue there friends for ever, so I verily trust and shall therefore right heartily pray, that though your Lordships have now in earth been judges to my condemnation, we may yet hereafter in heaven merrily all meet together to our everlasting salvation."

St. Thomas More

I wish I could pray this same prayer. Some day, I hope, but not today.

So pray for our president's conversion. Pray if only for yourselves, for I think he is going to put the hurt on the things I care about the most: Pro-Life issues, family, freedom of conscience for physicians, home schooling, just to name a few in no particular order. Now, if I can get my scanner to work, here are both sides of the prayer card, courtesy of the American Life League:







Here is someone else praying for this....

This was only one of many strange things which happened this weekend. Right after receiving Our Lord in Holy Communion, while trying to kneel and pray on the floor of a cramped and sweltering chapel, my three year old daughter came up to me and asked if I could 'do this.' She then proceeded to twist her tongue and stick it out at me. "After Mass," I assured her.

Last night I watched the movie Persuasion, based on a story by Jane Austen. Simply put, a woman is advised to dump a suitor against her wishes, meets him years later, and they marry at that time. The movie was quite good, but like all Jane Austen movies, the main characters looked as if they had just ingested a bolus of helicobacter pylori shortly before the filming began. Every woman in the movie needed a bit of Maalox.

Apparently, in the time period when Persuasion takes place, military folks were not thought of well, because the military was thought of as a way for ordinary folks to rise up in society. I don't know about status or royalty, but my time in the Air Force was a tremendous blessing in terms of helping me realize my dream of becoming a doctor without taking on a prohibitively large debt. Although we are not part of the elite of North Texas, we do have a roof over our head, clothes on our backs, food in the fridge, and only TWO junked lawn tractors in the driveway!

While waiting for the Armadillo in the shop, we learned about Triple Combo Cooking Power and what it will mean to the busy homemaker. We watched a T-bone steak, salmon fillet, a 10-pound turkey, and much MUCH MORE! get cooked in minutes rather than hours.

I ordered three.

Two things struck me at the local Albertson's. One, when did camouflage pattern become fashionable? The same color scheme I thought I would be wearing when I died for my country is now covering people of all ages and sexes.

The second thing is that a lot of music from the 70' and 80's consisted of the lead singer yelling at us. In the few minutes I was in the store, I heard Michael McDonald(formerly of the Doobie Brothers) yelling at me about 'real love,' followed by the Electric Light Orchestra(E.L.O.) screaming about something being a 'living thing.'

I have no answer to these questions, but I do have pictures of little birdies learning to fly. These two were sitting on our front porch checking out the big wild world:

Bird Strike Report

Out of respect for my wife, please look HERE for a report of a Bird Strike.

REPORT OF VEHICLE STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A VEHICLE STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1930 ON 3 JUNE 2008

SOUTHBOUND ON INTERSTATE 35 IN DALLAS TEXAS NORTH OF ILLINOIS AVENUE

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISBILITY 30 MILE NO CEILING AND 85 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 1998 FORD 5 PERSON EXPLORER NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA WITH V-6 ENGINE FORMERLY BRAVO SEVENTY SIX ALSO KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

MILEAGE 170110 MILES

OWNER OPERATED

NO ADDITIONAL SOULS ON BOARD

SPEED APPROXIMATELY IN EXCESS OF 60 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED DEBRIS FROM TRUCK SEPARATING FROM JUNK CAR ON FLATBED APPROXIMATELY FIFTY YARDS AHEAD AND TO THE LEFT OF NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA

DEBRIS TRAVERSED LANE INTO PATH OF NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA STRIKING FRONT AND UNDERSIDE OF VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS AND ROAD CONDITIONS

DEBRIS NOT VISUALIZED IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VICTOR DELTA CHARLIE UPON INSPECTION AT COMPLETION OF MISSION

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING EXPLORERS

THIS IS THE FIRST LARGE DEBRIS STRIKE FOR THE VEHICLE NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA

THERE WERE NO REPORTED DEBRIS STRIKES FOR THE 2005 FORD VAN SIXTY ONE PAPA ALSO KNOWN AS BIG BLUE MIRACLE

THERE WAS ONE UNREPORTED DEBRIS STRIKE WITH THE 1997 FORD VAN YANKEE HOTEL JOLIET ALSO KNOWN AS GREAT WHITE

THERE WERE NO REPORTS OF DEBRIS STRIKES WITH THE 2006 EXPLORER VICTOR DELTA CHARLIE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

Truth Can Now Be Told - updated June 29 2008

UPDATED NEWS BULLETIN

REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1045 ON 29 JUNE 2008

NORTHBOUND ON I-635 EXITING TO I-30 EAST IN DALLAS TEXAS

WEATHER PARTLY CLOUDY WITH VISIBILITY 10 MILES CEILING 2000 FEET AND 80 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 2005 FORD 15 PERSON VAN SIXTY-ONE PAPA WITH V-10 ENGINE KNOWN AS BIG BLUE MIRACLE

MILEAGE 60700 MILES

OWNER OPERATED

13 ADDITIONAL SOULS ON BOARD

SPEED APPROXIMATELY 60 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED TWO BIRDS DIVING IN FRONT OF VEHICLE APPROXIMATELY 5 YARDS AHEAD

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS AND ROAD CONDITIONS

LOWER AND FORWARD BIRD STRUCK LEFT FRONT GRILL OF VEHICLE

OTHER BIRD CLIMBED CLEAR OF VEHICLE

FEATHERS NOTED PASSING UP FROM FRONT GRILL OF VEHICLE

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE UPON INSPECTION AT COMPLETION OF MISSION

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING VANS

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS




This describes me:



Boring is good.

REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

We regret to inform you....

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0745 ON 1 MARCH 2008

EASTBOUND ON FM 664 OVILLA ROAD IN RED OAK TEXAS

WEATHER OVERCAST WITH VISBILITY 1 MILE CEILING OF 500 FEET AND 54 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 2006 FORD 7 PERSON EXPLORER VICTOR DELTA CHARLIE WITH V-6 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

TWO ADDITIONAL SOULS ON BOARD SPOUSE AND YOUNGEST CHILD

SPEED APPROXIMATELY 45 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED BIRD FLYING SOUTH AT LEVEL OF GRILL OF VICTOR DELTA CHARLIE

NOTED BIRD AT APPROXIMATELY 1 YARDS OUT FROM COLLISION

COLLISION FOLLOWED IMMEDIATELY AFTER VISUALIZATION

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS

DRIVER INDICATES THAT BIRD MOVED OUT OF VISUAL FIELD OF OWNER

BIRD NOT VISUALIZED IN REAR VIEW MIRROR ASSUMED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURIES

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VICTOR DELTA CHARLIE UPON INSPECTION AT COMPLETION OF FIRST LEG OF MISSION

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING EXPLORERS

THIS IS THE FIRST BIRD STRIKE FOR THE VEHICLE VICTOR DELTA CHARLIE

THERE WERE PREVIOUS REPORTED BIRD STRIKES FOR THE 2005 FORD VAN SIXTY ONE PAPA BIG BLUE MIRACLE

THERE WERE MULTIPLE REPORTED BIRD STRIKES WITH THE 1997 FORD VAN YANKEE HOTEL JOLIET GREAT WHITE

THERE WERE NO REPORTS OF BIRD STRIKES WITH THE 1998 EXPLORER NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA THE AARDVARK

NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA WAS FORMERLY BRAVO SEVENTY SIX ALWAYS KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

SQUIRREL STRIKE REPORT

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A SQUIRREL STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0803 ON JUNE 3 2007

EASTBOUND UPON EXITING PROPERTY ON XXXXXXXXXX STREET IN MIDLOTHIAN TEXAS

WEATHER OVERCAST WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF 1500 FEET AND 65 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE FORD 5 PERSON EXPLORER NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA WITH V-6 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED APPROXIMATELY 25 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER INITIATING ACCELERATION PROFILE AFTER LEAVING RESIDENCY

DRIVER NOTED MULTIPLE SQUIRRELS ENGAGED IN RANDOM PATTERN OF EVASION WITH ONE BREAKING SOUTHEAST INTO PATH OF NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA

NOTED SQUIRREL AT APPROXIMATELY 10 YARDS OUT FROM COLLISION

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO ROAD SIZE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT SQUIRREL MOVED OUT OF VISUAL FIELD OF OWNER AT WHICH POINT DRIVER FELT A VARIATION IN ROAD SURFACE UNDER THE FRONT AND BACK RIGHT TIRES

SQUIRREL APPEARED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURIES AS OBSERVED IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

UNABLE TO INSPECT NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA FOR DAMAGE AT COMPLETION OF MISSION DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING EXPLORERS

THIS IS THE FIRST SQUIRREL STRIKE FOR THE VEHICLE NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA

THERE WERE 2 REPORTED SQUIRREL STRIKES FOR THE VAN SIXTY ONE PAPA BIG BLUE MIRACLE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BIRD STRIKES WITH THE VAN YANKEE HOTEL JOLIET GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

Time to get serious about Lent

On Palm Sunday, after Mass and spending a Holy 2-Hour or so in church after lunch, my eldest son, Histor the Wise, drove us home. It was an hour full of fun and excitement. Wifeofdadwithnoisykids spent all of the time praying, with short breaks to tell me that she loves me and to loosen her grip on my shoulders. We made it home fine; Histor even got a great opportunity to deal with couches which were blocking the center two lanes of I-20. I didn't get that kind of experience until I was a lot older. I am jealous....

Somehow this prayer, on a holy card on my desk, seemed to be an appropriate one to think of at this time:

Offering of Holy Communion As Viaticum

MY GOD!

If I am to die today, or suddenly at any time,

I wish to receive this Communion as my Viaticum.

I desire that my last food may be the Body and Blood

of my Saviour and Redeemer;

my last words, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph;

my last affection, an act of pure love of God and

of perfect contrition for my sins;

my last consolation,

to die in Thy holy grace and

in Thy holy love. Amen.

This issue has been on my mind, starting with this rather prophetic post in February, and in several posts during the month of February. I am beginning to see what a tremendous grace, blessing I received by spending some time as a patient. I have not given adequate thought to preparing for the day I die.

FYI:

New stuff happening behind the scenes at Scorpion Stalking Duck will be announced after Easter.

Stuffed Poblano Pepper Alert:

On Saturday night, I got some takeout Mexican food for my wife and I. She had wanted to go on a 'date' before Holy Week began, and I was too busy to take her out last week. Anyways, I ordered Chili Rellenos, also known as 'Stuffed Poblano Peppers.' It was great, with ground beef inside and an allegedly 'hot' green sauce on the outside(I must be adapting finally to hot sauces), but it made me wonder something. Any time I mention 'stuffed poblano peppers' I get at least one hit from someone who is 'Googling' that term. Why? They are so easy to make; just hollow out a pepper, stuff it and cook it - or more likely just warm it up.

So why the need to look up a recipe for stuffed poblano peppers?

From Preparation for Total Consecration

The Seventh Day(The Imitation of Christ, Book 1, Chapter 18):

Oh how great was the fervor of all religious in the beginning of their holy institute! Oh how great was their devotion in prayer, how great was their zeal for virtue! How vigorous the discipline that was kept up, what reverence and obedience, under the rule of the superior, flourished in all! [snip] Now, he is thought great who is not a transgressor; and who can, with patience, endure what he has undertaken.

That last line sums up the world so well, where someone who just obeys the law is seen as a pillar of virtue. God calls us to do so much more than just drive a large van between the lines on the freeway. Sometimes we have to look out for stumbling blocks(or couches) and get away from them. Sometimes we need to apply the brakes before we collide with a yacht or go literally overboard.

OFFICIAL REPORT OF A MULTIPLE FROG STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A MULTIPLE FROG STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 2135 ON MARCH 29 2007

SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD SOUTH OF BELTLINE ROAD IN CEDAR HILL DALLAS COUNTY AND SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD SOUTH OF COUNTY LINE ROAD ELLIS COUNTY TEXAS USA

WEATHER CLOUDY WITH SOMETIME SEVERE PRECIPITATION VISBILITY CEILING UNKNOWN AND 65 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA ALSO KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK SPORT UTILITY VEHICLE WITH V6 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

ONE PASSENGER ON BOARD. ALL PASSENGERS WERE WEARING SAFETY RESTRAINTS

SPEED 35 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED FROGS ON ROAD WITH COURSE OF TRAVEL PERPENDICULAR WESTBOUND INTERSECTING WITH RIGHT FRONT TIRE OF NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA

FROG TYPES WERE NOT IDENTIFIED

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO ROAD LIMITATIONS AND CLOSE PROXIMITY OF FROG

DRIVER INDICATES THAT NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA DESTROYED FROGS IN PATH OF VEHICLE

NO APPARENT HARM TO OPERATOR

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

UPON COMPLETION OF MISSION NOTED NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING SUVS

THIS IS THE SECOND FROG STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE NO REPORTED FROG STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

THERE WERE NO REPORTED FROG STRIKES WITH THE VAN THE BIG BLUE MIRACLE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

What are Caretakers?

Mr. Moose leads a map-reading seminar while on the road.

This post, describing the trip we took in January, was written by on Cabelas Moose, who describes himself as the ‘Caretaker’ of the Big Blue Miracle. Since all the other stuffed animals are on retreat for all of Lent, I thought it would be a good time to describe what Caretakers are as well as what function they serve for the dadwithnoisykids family.

Historical Perspective

The original Caretaker was a ‘Dogbert’ stuffed animal which was assigned in 1997 to the vehicle ‘Yankee Hotel,’ better known as the ‘Great White Shark.’ ‘Shark’ was almost immediately dropped from the name after its purchase. This vehicle, which is still in service in Texas, was the first 15-passenger van purchased by dadwithnoisykids. For a while the ‘Great White’ was known as ‘Dogbert,’ but as the hazards of being a Caretaker took their toll on Dogbert(including his mysterious disappearance), the former name became the name by which ‘Yankee Hotel’ will always be remembered. During his tenure, Dogbert lost his glasses, suffered from a stuffing leak, and was constantly being thrown across the dashboard whenever dadwithnoisykids took the van through some rather dangerous maneuvers. His fate is not known.

Two other vehicles, the ‘Calais’ and the ‘Black Box,’ never had Caretakers. They were also ‘northerners,’ vehicles purchased in Michigan, and did not come with air conditioning systems which were an absolute necessity for living in San Antonio. They did not last long, and were avoided by all stuffed animals.

In 1998, ‘Bravo-76’ was purchased to replace the ‘Black Box.’ This vehicle became dadwithnoisykids’ work vehicle, and earned the nickname ‘The Aardvark’ for some unknown reason. For the remainder of the time in the Air Force, the Aardvark served with an aardvark Beanie Baby, until the child who owned it requested its return. In 2000, ‘Horse’ became the Caretaker for the Aardvark. Horse was modeled loosely on the horse belonging to the cartoon character ‘Dudley Do-Right.’ At the time he joined us he was working in a hospital in San Antonio and wanted to travel. He served well for the next two years, and pioneered the technique for holding the clip-on sunglasses of the driver. He would have continued in this position – and possibly having the Aardvark renamed after him – if he did not injure his neck with the repeated acceleration/deceleration forces that came with dadwithnoisykids’ driving. He is medically retired, and was replaced by a smaller aardvark, one who can tolerate the stresses of driving.

Mr. Horse shows how weak his neck is from the stresses of driving.

Mr. Aardvark holds a pair of clip-on sunglasses

In 2005, ‘Yankee Hotel’ was replaced by ’61-Papa,’ a 15-passenger vehicle with a V-10 engine and a few additions which made it more family friendly. This vehicle was initially referred to as the ‘Big Blue,’ in reference to its size. Like the ‘Great White,’ the vans were thought of by some as being ‘big as a whale,’ and so ‘Big Blue’ also alluded to a blue whale.

Selecting a Caretaker for the Big Blue fell to dadwithnoisykids, who picked a quiet, introspective, young adult moose named Cabelas. At the time, Cabelas Moose was trying to discern his vocation, and had already declined several overtures from some families in his parents’ herd. He took the job immediately when he found out that his obligation was terminated when the ‘Big Blue’ was removed from service by dadwithnoisykids. In an earlier interview, Mr. Moose explained why the job of a Caretaker was so appealing:

“The idea of being committed to serve a family in this manner, cut off from the social obligations of a young moose, appealed to me. At the time I hired on, I was trying to determine if a religious vocation was what God was calling me to, and I found the proximity of young lady mooses to be very distracting, extremely distracting. So now, I spend a lot of time in solitude, staring at the open road, or the wall of the garage, thinking about what my role is in this world. For now, it is one of service to the dadwithnoisykids family. Perhaps one day I will realize that my vocation was really to just be a single moose serving families.”

Mr. Cabelas Moose


Present Day Caretakers

In 2006, the price of gasoline took a turn upward for good, regaining the high prices which followed in the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in 2005. Cabelas Moose was instrumental in the decision to purchase another smaller car for Wifeofdadwithnoisykids to use instead of continuing to drive the ‘Big Blue’ for errands. A spreadsheet, totally produced by him, indicating the cost of using the ‘Big Blue’ for daily driving at less than 50% capacity, was the final selling point. The selection of a new car also gave the Caretakers more influence, as Mr. Moose and Mr. Aardvark collaborated on determining the ideal choice for another car. The new car was the 2006 version of the Aardvark, nicknamed ‘The Batmobile.’

Since the Batmobile was (and is) a woman’s car, Wifeofdadwithnoisykids chose Miss Bear to be the Caretaker for it. Miss Bear was also trying to determine her vocation when she was approached about the job:

“Oh no,” she laughed, “I needed to beat the suitors off with a stick! I just wasn’t ready to commit to the married life. As a nursery room bear, I had a lot of experience dealing with babies, and I knew I needed to grow up a bit before settling down. Just like Mr. Moose, I look at this job as a way to step back, get some time to think before plunging into my vocation.”
“Still, I can’t help thinking Mr. Moose got jilted by some lady moose. He sure is kind and fun to be around.”

The Future of Caretakers

Caretakers are a small cadre of stuffed animals which originally began as mascots for the dadwithnoisykids family vehicles. Over the past decade, they have expanded their role beyond this to the point that they wield a significant influence over the family’s decisions. With the two oldest Noisykids starting driver education, the Caretakers are involved in the training of the next generation of vehicle owner/operators. The Caretakers are not afraid to criticize any driver and to recommend re-training (see this blog at the end).

Mr. Aardvark inspects an item on the back seat.

In the summer of 2006, the Big Blue was involved in an accident where a Roman Sacristan struck the front fender while it was parked. After that incident, water was observed to issue from the front fender, and those stuffed animals which bathed in it were cured of various ailments. Mr. Moose quickly gained control of this phenomenon, avoiding any kind of scandal, and establishing a gift shop to sell the various items that were requested by pilgrims(See these and these blogs). His decisive action avoided turning the dadwithnoisykids household into a modern-day Woodstock. This incident resulted in the Big Blue being renamed the ‘Big Blue Miracle.’

This last experience made Mr. Moose yearn even more for a contemplative life, even though his business sense has made the Gift Shop a profitable enterprise. In January, he almost left the Big Blue Miracle to join the Benedictine Monastery in Alabama, but his promise to fulfill his commitment kept him on the front dash of the van.

The risks of being a Caretaker can not be ignored, especially when considering the fate of Dogbert, or the injuries sustained by Horse. In addition to riding, the Caretakers are responsible for the safety of the crew and passengers. This can range from cleaning the carpet all the way to dragging passengers out of a burning car. They take a pledge to give up their lives for the safety of the passengers and crew of their vehicles.

Despite this, the list of volunteers to be a Caretaker is long. As long as there will be Noisykids driving, there will be a Caretaker along for the ride, insuring the safety of all in their care.

Miss Bear enjoys the ride Eastbound on I-30.

Visit from Old Friends

Over the weekend, we had some friends from Houston come and visit us. We had a wonderful time, and went to Mass and Holy Hour and Confession on New Year's Eve at St. William the Confessor Catholic Church in Greenville, Texas.

On New Year's Day, we returned for Mass and a Rosary Procession. I kept the baby inside because we both had sniffles and coughs, so I have no pictures of the beautiful procession. Perhaps Semper Fi will.




I did get some snapshots of an old friend of ours. Yankee Hotel Joliet, better known as the Great White, was present in the parking lot at St. William's.



Here is a picture of it:

Here is one with Sixty-One Papa, the Big Blue Miracle, in the foreground. Note the markings for the various animal/Sacristan strikes on the front fender of the Big Blue Miracle:

Mr. Moose wondered whatever happened to the little Dogbert doll that used to live in the Great White:

"I plan on retiring to a monastery, and spend my life in prayer and penance for Dadwithnoisykids, when the Big Blue Miracle eventually retires or is destroyed," he said.

"I hope that won't be for several years. Also, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from all of us who ride with the Dadwithnoisykids Family!"

If some of this is confusing, check the Labels to explain some things, maybe....

OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIRD STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1845 ON OCTOBER 27 2006

SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD SOUTH OF COUNTY LINE ROAD IN CEDAR HILL TEXAS USA

WEATHER PARTLY CLOUDY WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF 5 MILES AND 62 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE SIXTY ONE PAPA ALSO KNOWN AS BIG BLUE MIRACLE 15 PASSENGER VAN WITH V-10 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

THREE PASSENGERS ON BOARD. ALL PASSENGERS WERE WEARING SAFETY RESTRAINTS

SPEED 35 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED BIRD DIVING AT WINDOW AND PULLING UP AT APPROXIMATELY 2 FEET FROM FRONT WINDSHIELD

BIRD WAS NOT IDENTIFIED

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO TRAFFIC FLOW AND CLOSE PROXIMITY OF BIRD

DRIVER INDICATES THAT BIRD STRUCK WINDSHIELD LIGHTLY AND FLEW OUT OF SIGHT

NO APPARENT HARM TO BIRD

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

UPON COMPLETION OF MISSION NOTED NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING VANS

THIS IS THE SECOND BIRD STRIKE FOR THE BIG BLUE MIRACLE

THERE WERE 5 REPORTED BIRD STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

REPORT OF TREE BRANCH STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A TREE BRANCH STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0634 ON OCTOBER 4 2006

NORTHWEST BOUND ON I-35 SERVICE DRIVE 50 YARDS EAST OF MOTOR STREET IN
DALLAS TEXAS

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 74 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VISIBILITY LIMITED BY LACK OF STREETLIGHT OR MOONLIGHT

VEHICLE LIGHTS WERE ON AND FUNCTIONING PROPERLY

VEHICLE 1998 EXPLORER NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA BETTER KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED LESS THAN 20 MILES PER HOUR

BRANCH HANGING FROM TREE NOTED WITHIN 10 YARDS OF STRIKE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO CLOSE PROXIMITY TO OTHER TRAFFIC

DRIVER INDICATES THAT BRANCH STRUCK RIGHT UPPER FRONT WINDSHIELD AND ANTENNA
DRAGGING ALONG TOP OF AARDVARK

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING
EXPLORERS

THIS IS THE FIRST TREE BRANCH STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE 1 REPORTED TREE BRANCH STRIKES WITH THE VAN BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED TREE BRANCH STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DADWITHNOISYKIDS

REPORT OF A TREE BRANCH STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A TREE BRANCH STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 2207 CST ON OCTOBER 3 2006

NORTHWEST BOUND ON I 35 SERVICE DRIVE 50 YARDS EAST OF MOTOR STREET IN
DALLAS TEXAS

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 81 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VISIBILITY LIMITED BY LACK OF STREETLIGHT OR MOONLIGHT

VEHICLE LIGHTS WERE ON AND FUNCTIONING PROPERLY

VEHICLE BIG BLUE 15 PERSON VAN WITH V-10 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED LESS THAN 40 MILES PER HOUR

BRANCH HANGING FROM TREE NOTED WITHIN 10 YARDS OF STRIKE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO CLOSE PROXIMITY TO OTHER TRAFFIC

DRIVER INDICATES THAT BRANCH STRUCK RIGHT UPPER FRONT WINDSHIELD AND ANTENNA
DRAGGING ALONG TOP OF VAN

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VAN

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE DRIVING
VANS

THIS IS THE FIRST TREE BRANCH STRIKE FOR THE BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED TREE BRANCH STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DADWITHNOISYKIDS

REPORT OF A FURRY BROWN CREATURE STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A BIG FURRY ANIMAL STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0154 ON SEPTEMBER 15 2006

SOUTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD DALLAS COUNTY

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISIBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 65 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 1998 FORD EXPLORER WITH V-6 ENGINE NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA BETTER KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

OWNER OPERATED

SAFETY BELTS IN USE

SPEED 45 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED BROWN FURRY ANIMAL RUNNING IN ROAD ON COURSE PERPENDICULAR TO VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO EXTREME PROXIMITY OF FURRY CREATURE TO VEHICLE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT FURRY CREATURE RAN IN FRONT AND UNDER VEHICLE AND STRUCK FRONT UNDERSIDE OF VEHICLE

A LOUD THUNK SOUND WAS HEARD

CREATURE ASSUMED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURY

UNABLE TO ASSESS FURRY CREATURES CONDITION DUE TO URGENCY OF MISSION

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

VEHICLE INSPECTED AT COMPLETION OF MISSION

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE NOTED

THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES

THIS IS THE FIRST REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKES WITH THE VAN BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BROWN FURRY CREATURE STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

LETHAL TOAD STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A TOAD STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 0558 ON AUGUST 23 2006

NORTHBOUND ON JOE WILSON ROAD

WEATHER HAZY WITH VISIBILITY CEILING OF UNKNOWN MILES AND 84 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE 1998 FORD EXPLORER WITH V-6 ENGINE FORMERLY KNOWN AS BRAVO-76 NOW NOVEMBER VICTOR DELTA BETTER KNOWN AS THE AARDVARK

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED 30 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED TOAD HOPPING IN ROAD ON COURSE PERPENDICULAR TO VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO ROAD CONDITIONS AND OTHER TRAFFIC IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO VEHICLE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT ARC OF TOADS TERMINAL HOP INTERSECTED WITH PATH OF RIGHT FRONT TIRE

TOAD ASSUMED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURY

UNABLE TO ASSESS TOADS CONDITION DUE TO NEED FOR IMMEDIATE RIGHT TURN DUE TO PATH AND CONDITION OF ROAD

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VEHICLE

DRIVER REPORTS TOAD TO A BE A ROAMIN VARIETY



THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES

THIS IS THE FIRST REPORTED TOAD STRIKE FOR THE AARDVARK

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED TOAD STRIKES WITH THE VAN BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED TOAD STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

VERIFICATION OF TOAD STRIKE IN VANS MAY BE LIMITED BY BLIND SPOT FORWARD OF VANS

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS



Things don't do well when they hit our vehicles. First there was the bird, then the snake(sent as an e-mail in May and will be published later), then the first(sent as an e-mail in May and will be published later) and second squirrel strikes. Only the Roman Sacristan seemed to survive the collision, but he did affect the van in ways we can't explain. This will require pictures taken in daylight and may have to wait for the weekend.

REPORT OF A SACRISTAN STRIKE

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A SACRISTAN STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1120 ON AUGUST 20 2006

STANDING STILL IN THE PARKING LOT OF ST WILLIAM THE CONFESSOR CATHOLIC CHURCH IN GREENVILLE TEXAS

WEATHER CLEAR WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF 10 MILES AND 102 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE BIG BLUE 15 PERSON VAN WITH V-10 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED 0 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED SACRISTAN AT 20 YARDS MANEUVERING THROUGH PARKING LOT MOVING TOWARD GAP BETWEEN VAN AND ANOTHER STATIONARY VEHICLE

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO NO FORWARD OR BACKWARD MOTION

I CAN NOT BELIEVE HE HIT US

DRIVER INDICATES THAT SACRISTAN STRUCK FRONT OF VAN ON RIGHT SIDE

SACRISTAN APPEARED TO HAVE SUSTAINED NO INJURIES

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VAN

DRIVER REPORTS SACRISTAN APPEARED TO BE OF A ROMAN VARIETY



THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING VANS

THIS IS THE FIRST SACRISTAN STRIKE FOR THE BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED SACRISTAN STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS

SQUIRREL STRIKE REPORT

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REPORT OF A SQUIRREL STRIKE

APPROXIMATELY 1848 ON AUGUST 13 2006

WESTBOUND ON WATER STREET IN OVILLA TEXAS

WEATHER PARTLY CLOUDY WITH VISBILITY CEILING OF 8 MILES AND 101 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT TEMPERATURE

VEHICLE BIG BLUE 15 PERSON VAN WITH V-10 ENGINE

OWNER OPERATED

SPEED APPROXIMATELY 30 MILES PER HOUR

DRIVER NOTED SQUIRREL IN PATH AT APPROXIMATELY 5 YARDS OUT FROM TARGET

NO EVASIVE ACTION TAKEN DUE TO ROAD SIZE

DRIVER INDICATES THAT SQUIRREL RAN IN FRONT OF VAN FROM SIDE OF ROAD AT CLOSE PROXIMITY TO VAN

SQUIRREL APPEARED TO HAVE SUSTAINED LETHAL INJURIES AS OBSERVED IN REAR VIEW MIRROR

NO LOSS OF CONTROL OF VEHICLE

NO DAMAGE TO VAN




THIS REPORT HAS BEEN GENERATED AS A SAFETY MESSAGE TO ALL WHO MAY BE
DRIVING VANS

THIS IS THE SECOND SQUIRREL STRIKE FOR THE BIG BLUE

THERE WERE 0 REPORTED BIRD STRIKES WITH THE VAN GREAT WHITE

WE WILL CONTINUE MONITORING THESE INCIDENTS

DAD WITH NOISY KIDS