"Unless we recover the zeal and the spirit of the first century Christians - unless we are willing to do what they did and to pay the price that they paid, the future of our country, the days of America are numbered."
Fr. John A. Hardon, S.J.
1914-2000
Now I shall lob one over the wall, courtesy of the Puppini Sisters - these don't look like consecrated Sisters....
Showing posts with label The Gift Shop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Gift Shop. Show all posts
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
What are Caretakers?
Mr. Moose leads a map-reading seminar while on the road.This post, describing the trip we took in January, was written by on Cabelas Moose, who describes himself as the ‘Caretaker’ of the Big Blue Miracle. Since all the other stuffed animals are on retreat for all of Lent, I thought it would be a good time to describe what Caretakers are as well as what function they serve for the dadwithnoisykids family.
Historical Perspective
The original Caretaker was a ‘Dogbert’ stuffed animal which was assigned in 1997 to the vehicle ‘Yankee Hotel,’ better known as the ‘Great White Shark.’ ‘Shark’ was almost immediately dropped from the name after its purchase. This vehicle, which is still in service in Texas, was the first 15-passenger van purchased by dadwithnoisykids. For a while the ‘Great White’ was known as ‘Dogbert,’ but as the hazards of being a Caretaker took their toll on Dogbert(including his mysterious disappearance), the former name became the name by which ‘Yankee Hotel’ will always be remembered. During his tenure, Dogbert lost his glasses, suffered from a stuffing leak, and was constantly being thrown across the dashboard whenever dadwithnoisykids took the van through some rather dangerous maneuvers. His fate is not known.
Two other vehicles, the ‘Calais’ and the ‘Black Box,’ never had Caretakers. They were also ‘northerners,’ vehicles purchased in Michigan, and did not come with air conditioning systems which were an absolute necessity for living in San Antonio. They did not last long, and were avoided by all stuffed animals.
In 1998, ‘Bravo-76’ was purchased to replace the ‘Black Box.’ This vehicle became dadwithnoisykids’ work vehicle, and earned the nickname ‘The Aardvark’ for some unknown reason. For the remainder of the time in the Air Force, the Aardvark served with an aardvark Beanie Baby, until the child who owned it requested its return. In 2000, ‘Horse’ became the Caretaker for the Aardvark. Horse was modeled loosely on the horse belonging to the cartoon character ‘Dudley Do-Right.’ At the time he joined us he was working in a hospital in San Antonio and wanted to travel. He served well for the next two years, and pioneered the technique for holding the clip-on sunglasses of the driver. He would have continued in this position – and possibly having the Aardvark renamed after him – if he did not injure his neck with the repeated acceleration/deceleration forces that came with dadwithnoisykids’ driving. He is medically retired, and was replaced by a smaller aardvark, one who can tolerate the stresses of driving.
Mr. Horse shows how weak his neck is from the stresses of driving.
Mr. Aardvark holds a pair of clip-on sunglasses
In 2005, ‘Yankee Hotel’ was replaced by ’61-Papa,’ a 15-passenger vehicle with a V-10 engine and a few additions which made it more family friendly. This vehicle was initially referred to as the ‘Big Blue,’ in reference to its size. Like the ‘Great White,’ the vans were thought of by some as being ‘big as a whale,’ and so ‘Big Blue’ also alluded to a blue whale.
Selecting a Caretaker for the Big Blue fell to dadwithnoisykids, who picked a quiet, introspective, young adult moose named Cabelas. At the time, Cabelas Moose was trying to discern his vocation, and had already declined several overtures from some families in his parents’ herd. He took the job immediately when he found out that his obligation was terminated when the ‘Big Blue’ was removed from service by dadwithnoisykids. In an earlier interview, Mr. Moose explained why the job of a Caretaker was so appealing:
“The idea of being committed to serve a family in this manner, cut off from the social obligations of a young moose, appealed to me. At the time I hired on, I was trying to determine if a religious vocation was what God was calling me to, and I found the proximity of young lady mooses to be very distracting, extremely distracting. So now, I spend a lot of time in solitude, staring at the open road, or the wall of the garage, thinking about what my role is in this world. For now, it is one of service to the dadwithnoisykids family. Perhaps one day I will realize that my vocation was really to just be a single moose serving families.”
Mr. Cabelas Moose
Present Day Caretakers
In 2006, the price of gasoline took a turn upward for good, regaining the high prices which followed in the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in 2005. Cabelas Moose was instrumental in the decision to purchase another smaller car for Wifeofdadwithnoisykids to use instead of continuing to drive the ‘Big Blue’ for errands. A spreadsheet, totally produced by him, indicating the cost of using the ‘Big Blue’ for daily driving at less than 50% capacity, was the final selling point. The selection of a new car also gave the Caretakers more influence, as Mr. Moose and Mr. Aardvark collaborated on determining the ideal choice for another car. The new car was the 2006 version of the Aardvark, nicknamed ‘The Batmobile.’
Since the Batmobile was (and is) a woman’s car, Wifeofdadwithnoisykids chose Miss Bear to be the Caretaker for it. Miss Bear was also trying to determine her vocation when she was approached about the job:
“Oh no,” she laughed, “I needed to beat the suitors off with a stick! I just wasn’t ready to commit to the married life. As a nursery room bear, I had a lot of experience dealing with babies, and I knew I needed to grow up a bit before settling down. Just like Mr. Moose, I look at this job as a way to step back, get some time to think before plunging into my vocation.”
“Still, I can’t help thinking Mr. Moose got jilted by some lady moose. He sure is kind and fun to be around.”
The Future of Caretakers
Caretakers are a small cadre of stuffed animals which originally began as mascots for the dadwithnoisykids family vehicles. Over the past decade, they have expanded their role beyond this to the point that they wield a significant influence over the family’s decisions. With the two oldest Noisykids starting driver education, the Caretakers are involved in the training of the next generation of vehicle owner/operators. The Caretakers are not afraid to criticize any driver and to recommend re-training (see this blog at the end).
Mr. Aardvark inspects an item on the back seat.
In the summer of 2006, the Big Blue was involved in an accident where a Roman Sacristan struck the front fender while it was parked. After that incident, water was observed to issue from the front fender, and those stuffed animals which bathed in it were cured of various ailments. Mr. Moose quickly gained control of this phenomenon, avoiding any kind of scandal, and establishing a gift shop to sell the various items that were requested by pilgrims(See these and these blogs). His decisive action avoided turning the dadwithnoisykids household into a modern-day Woodstock. This incident resulted in the Big Blue being renamed the ‘Big Blue Miracle.’
This last experience made Mr. Moose yearn even more for a contemplative life, even though his business sense has made the Gift Shop a profitable enterprise. In January, he almost left the Big Blue Miracle to join the Benedictine Monastery in Alabama, but his promise to fulfill his commitment kept him on the front dash of the van.
The risks of being a Caretaker can not be ignored, especially when considering the fate of Dogbert, or the injuries sustained by Horse. In addition to riding, the Caretakers are responsible for the safety of the crew and passengers. This can range from cleaning the carpet all the way to dragging passengers out of a burning car. They take a pledge to give up their lives for the safety of the passengers and crew of their vehicles.
Despite this, the list of volunteers to be a Caretaker is long. As long as there will be Noisykids driving, there will be a Caretaker along for the ride, insuring the safety of all in their care.
Historical Perspective
The original Caretaker was a ‘Dogbert’ stuffed animal which was assigned in 1997 to the vehicle ‘Yankee Hotel,’ better known as the ‘Great White Shark.’ ‘Shark’ was almost immediately dropped from the name after its purchase. This vehicle, which is still in service in Texas, was the first 15-passenger van purchased by dadwithnoisykids. For a while the ‘Great White’ was known as ‘Dogbert,’ but as the hazards of being a Caretaker took their toll on Dogbert(including his mysterious disappearance), the former name became the name by which ‘Yankee Hotel’ will always be remembered. During his tenure, Dogbert lost his glasses, suffered from a stuffing leak, and was constantly being thrown across the dashboard whenever dadwithnoisykids took the van through some rather dangerous maneuvers. His fate is not known.
Two other vehicles, the ‘Calais’ and the ‘Black Box,’ never had Caretakers. They were also ‘northerners,’ vehicles purchased in Michigan, and did not come with air conditioning systems which were an absolute necessity for living in San Antonio. They did not last long, and were avoided by all stuffed animals.
In 1998, ‘Bravo-76’ was purchased to replace the ‘Black Box.’ This vehicle became dadwithnoisykids’ work vehicle, and earned the nickname ‘The Aardvark’ for some unknown reason. For the remainder of the time in the Air Force, the Aardvark served with an aardvark Beanie Baby, until the child who owned it requested its return. In 2000, ‘Horse’ became the Caretaker for the Aardvark. Horse was modeled loosely on the horse belonging to the cartoon character ‘Dudley Do-Right.’ At the time he joined us he was working in a hospital in San Antonio and wanted to travel. He served well for the next two years, and pioneered the technique for holding the clip-on sunglasses of the driver. He would have continued in this position – and possibly having the Aardvark renamed after him – if he did not injure his neck with the repeated acceleration/deceleration forces that came with dadwithnoisykids’ driving. He is medically retired, and was replaced by a smaller aardvark, one who can tolerate the stresses of driving.
Mr. Horse shows how weak his neck is from the stresses of driving.
Mr. Aardvark holds a pair of clip-on sunglassesIn 2005, ‘Yankee Hotel’ was replaced by ’61-Papa,’ a 15-passenger vehicle with a V-10 engine and a few additions which made it more family friendly. This vehicle was initially referred to as the ‘Big Blue,’ in reference to its size. Like the ‘Great White,’ the vans were thought of by some as being ‘big as a whale,’ and so ‘Big Blue’ also alluded to a blue whale.
Selecting a Caretaker for the Big Blue fell to dadwithnoisykids, who picked a quiet, introspective, young adult moose named Cabelas. At the time, Cabelas Moose was trying to discern his vocation, and had already declined several overtures from some families in his parents’ herd. He took the job immediately when he found out that his obligation was terminated when the ‘Big Blue’ was removed from service by dadwithnoisykids. In an earlier interview, Mr. Moose explained why the job of a Caretaker was so appealing:
“The idea of being committed to serve a family in this manner, cut off from the social obligations of a young moose, appealed to me. At the time I hired on, I was trying to determine if a religious vocation was what God was calling me to, and I found the proximity of young lady mooses to be very distracting, extremely distracting. So now, I spend a lot of time in solitude, staring at the open road, or the wall of the garage, thinking about what my role is in this world. For now, it is one of service to the dadwithnoisykids family. Perhaps one day I will realize that my vocation was really to just be a single moose serving families.”
Mr. Cabelas MoosePresent Day Caretakers
In 2006, the price of gasoline took a turn upward for good, regaining the high prices which followed in the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in 2005. Cabelas Moose was instrumental in the decision to purchase another smaller car for Wifeofdadwithnoisykids to use instead of continuing to drive the ‘Big Blue’ for errands. A spreadsheet, totally produced by him, indicating the cost of using the ‘Big Blue’ for daily driving at less than 50% capacity, was the final selling point. The selection of a new car also gave the Caretakers more influence, as Mr. Moose and Mr. Aardvark collaborated on determining the ideal choice for another car. The new car was the 2006 version of the Aardvark, nicknamed ‘The Batmobile.’
Since the Batmobile was (and is) a woman’s car, Wifeofdadwithnoisykids chose Miss Bear to be the Caretaker for it. Miss Bear was also trying to determine her vocation when she was approached about the job:
“Oh no,” she laughed, “I needed to beat the suitors off with a stick! I just wasn’t ready to commit to the married life. As a nursery room bear, I had a lot of experience dealing with babies, and I knew I needed to grow up a bit before settling down. Just like Mr. Moose, I look at this job as a way to step back, get some time to think before plunging into my vocation.”
“Still, I can’t help thinking Mr. Moose got jilted by some lady moose. He sure is kind and fun to be around.”
The Future of Caretakers
Caretakers are a small cadre of stuffed animals which originally began as mascots for the dadwithnoisykids family vehicles. Over the past decade, they have expanded their role beyond this to the point that they wield a significant influence over the family’s decisions. With the two oldest Noisykids starting driver education, the Caretakers are involved in the training of the next generation of vehicle owner/operators. The Caretakers are not afraid to criticize any driver and to recommend re-training (see this blog at the end).
Mr. Aardvark inspects an item on the back seat.In the summer of 2006, the Big Blue was involved in an accident where a Roman Sacristan struck the front fender while it was parked. After that incident, water was observed to issue from the front fender, and those stuffed animals which bathed in it were cured of various ailments. Mr. Moose quickly gained control of this phenomenon, avoiding any kind of scandal, and establishing a gift shop to sell the various items that were requested by pilgrims(See these and these blogs). His decisive action avoided turning the dadwithnoisykids household into a modern-day Woodstock. This incident resulted in the Big Blue being renamed the ‘Big Blue Miracle.’
This last experience made Mr. Moose yearn even more for a contemplative life, even though his business sense has made the Gift Shop a profitable enterprise. In January, he almost left the Big Blue Miracle to join the Benedictine Monastery in Alabama, but his promise to fulfill his commitment kept him on the front dash of the van.
The risks of being a Caretaker can not be ignored, especially when considering the fate of Dogbert, or the injuries sustained by Horse. In addition to riding, the Caretakers are responsible for the safety of the crew and passengers. This can range from cleaning the carpet all the way to dragging passengers out of a burning car. They take a pledge to give up their lives for the safety of the passengers and crew of their vehicles.
Despite this, the list of volunteers to be a Caretaker is long. As long as there will be Noisykids driving, there will be a Caretaker along for the ride, insuring the safety of all in their care.
Miss Bear enjoys the ride Eastbound on I-30.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Saturday Wrapup
Sacred Heart of Jesus, in the crypt below the altar at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, Mobile, Alabama.REPENT!
This is a good snip from George Weigel's excellent book, Witness to Hope, the biography of Pope John Paul II:
The wellspring of reconciliation, John Paul writes, is the cross of Christ. Its vertical beam symbolizes the human need for reconciliation with God, and its horizontal crossbeam represents the need for reconciliation within the human family.(1) Because the Church is the Body of Christ, its "central task" is "reconciling people with God, with themselves,, with neighbor, with the whole creation."(from Reconciliatio et Paenitentia, Sections 7.7 and 8.5)
One of the ways the Church lives out that ministry of reconciliation is to remind the world of the reality of sin. For reconciliation is impossible without naming the evil that had caused division and rupture in the first place.
(Page 473)
Well said. Good food for thought before the start of Lent.
Other News:
This picture was taken by a surveillance camera at a convenience store in Costaguana, on the Pacific Coast of Central America. The character in the right foreground has some of the features of Captain Merrill Stewbean.
Stewbean, along with First Mate Buster Crabbe, Chef Tortoise Tuus, and one unidentified passenger disappeared in the Gulf of Mexico two weeks after leaving December 26, 2006, on a Cruise from Port Aransas, Texas.
The last contact was a text message from somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico.
A reward has been offered for any information leading to the return of Captain Merrill Stewbean and his crew and passenger.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Nominated?
I have been nominated for
BEST NEW CATHOLIC BLOG
(I think)
If you go to the Catholic Blog Awards Website, you can see what I got nominated for and vote for my blog.
For now, I need to rest more and pray for a speedy recovery.
Here is a picture of the Love-Spud, sold only at the Gift Shop! The perfect last-minute St. Valentine's Day Gift!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Christmas Cruise Update
From the Christmas Cruise, via text messaging:
Our trip has become a bit more complicated. After taking a left out of Port Aransas, we figured it would be a day or two before we run into Florida. From there, we planned on taking a right turn and easing down the Gulf Coast to Havana.
Instead we have seen nothing but water. Well, the Coast Guard was shadowing us for a while....
We are slowly getting to know about our lone passenger. Our guest explained that he is hoping to take advantage of the political instability in Cuba after Castro steps down. It took a while, but we explained that Castro is still in charge.
Last night, we saw a giant squid, three times longer than the Water Strider. It glowed with a kind of phosphorescence as it swam under and beyond the ship.
"Looks like a glow-in-the-dark squid," was our guest's comment.
"Looks like calamari to me," was Tortoise Tuus, the chef's, only thought.
More later....
Captain Merrill Stewbean
Our trip has become a bit more complicated. After taking a left out of Port Aransas, we figured it would be a day or two before we run into Florida. From there, we planned on taking a right turn and easing down the Gulf Coast to Havana.
Instead we have seen nothing but water. Well, the Coast Guard was shadowing us for a while....
We are slowly getting to know about our lone passenger. Our guest explained that he is hoping to take advantage of the political instability in Cuba after Castro steps down. It took a while, but we explained that Castro is still in charge.
Last night, we saw a giant squid, three times longer than the Water Strider. It glowed with a kind of phosphorescence as it swam under and beyond the ship.
"Looks like a glow-in-the-dark squid," was our guest's comment.
"Looks like calamari to me," was Tortoise Tuus, the chef's, only thought.
More later....
Captain Merrill Stewbean
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Christmas Cruise Note
We almost cancelled the Cruise for lack of passengers. All that changed on the morning of the 26th, the Feast of St. Stephen. We woke up at 5 a.m. when a distinguished gentleman started pounding on the deck of the Water Strider. He wanted to go to "Cuba, right now - and I have a suitcase full of cash to pay my way!"
Forty-eight thousand dollars in twenty-dollar bills. I was giddy at the sight of it. So we grabbed a shopping cart full of canned oysters - his request - and cast off. We took a left turn out of Aransas Pass and now we are somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. The water is rough and I have been quite seasick. I will write more later.
Captain Merrill Stewbean
Somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico, on the good ship Water Strider
Links added by me to this message from Capt Stewbean - dadwithnoisykids
Forty-eight thousand dollars in twenty-dollar bills. I was giddy at the sight of it. So we grabbed a shopping cart full of canned oysters - his request - and cast off. We took a left turn out of Aransas Pass and now we are somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. The water is rough and I have been quite seasick. I will write more later.
Captain Merrill Stewbean
Somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico, on the good ship Water Strider
Links added by me to this message from Capt Stewbean - dadwithnoisykids
Friday, December 08, 2006
Gift Shop Items...and a bit of penance
Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception!
...What better way to express your love than with a
Heart-Shaped Potato!?!
Only at the Gift Shop:
Dining with the Loudkinder Family
You will love and cherish this family cookbook which has been in the Loudkinder family for quite a while!
Join the Loudkinder family as the children prepare meal after meal after meal after meal after meal for the Loudkinder parents, Elvis and Priscilla Loudkinder.
Enjoy their favorite fowl, beef and fish recipe - everything from Mahi Mahi to Pot Roast of Beef to Grilled Chicken to Fajitas!!
"They ought to have a blog!" - concerned parent
"The photographs are lousy, but the recipes are Grrrrrrrrreat!!" - Antoine Letigre, food critic
Valentine's Day is Almost Here....
...What better way to express your love than with a
Heart-Shaped Potato!?!
Pick up a Bushel Basket at the Gift Shop's Produce Section!
Repent!
Worse than an Discipline,
it's the Claymation Christmas Special Videos!
Enjoy.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
In Praise of a Large Family
This morning, Auntie Ofnoisykids took most of the noisykids to visit 'Amish World,' a theme park where one can live like the Amish for a day. It is located near Waco. Not surprising.
Wife of dadwithnoisykids, dadwithnoisykids, and three of the noisykids - the 15-year old eldest daughter, the 14-year old boy, and the 14-month sweet baby girl - stayed behind. The reason why is not important. What was very interesting to observe is how the baby reacted when most of her playmates left. She actually grabbed her 3-year old brother(closest in age to her) and dragged him back into the house. It is not surprising that the 3-year old did not fight her, because the children always seem to be extra patient and giving to the baby of the family.
After the other noisykids left, the baby suddenly found she had a new thing to deal with that she had seldom experienced: boredom. Her closest siblings were gone, and playing with Mom and Dad just didn't cut it. We would take turns playing with her on the floor, but we could tell she was not as interested in playing with us.
For a while she took a nap with Mom, but after that, she was up looking for her siblings again. She missed her two older sisters closer in age to her(9- and 7- years old) and her immediate older brothers(6- and 5- and 3- year old).
I have said this before, and I will say it again: one of the greatest gifts we have given to our children is the gift of siblings. This is not just with my youngest daughter. I have noticed it with my sons, especially how they will sit back and relax at the end of dinner and just enjoy talking about whatever rather than start cleaning up the dishes. It is heartwarming, and always brings a bit of a lump to my throat as I repeatedly tell them to get a move on and clean up the kitchen.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Feeling the need for a prayer? My friend the Roman Sacristan has a great one for this season of materialisticism. He just broke 6,000 hits - congratulations!
I just broke 2,000 - someone from Portugal was randomly skating along when he landed on my blog. He or she will have a shopping cart to fill with all the items he or she can collect in 5 minutes in the Gift Shop - when he or she appears at the home of the Scorpion Stalking Duck Blogsite to claim the prize.
He or she has twenty more minutes.
Wife of dadwithnoisykids, dadwithnoisykids, and three of the noisykids - the 15-year old eldest daughter, the 14-year old boy, and the 14-month sweet baby girl - stayed behind. The reason why is not important. What was very interesting to observe is how the baby reacted when most of her playmates left. She actually grabbed her 3-year old brother(closest in age to her) and dragged him back into the house. It is not surprising that the 3-year old did not fight her, because the children always seem to be extra patient and giving to the baby of the family.
After the other noisykids left, the baby suddenly found she had a new thing to deal with that she had seldom experienced: boredom. Her closest siblings were gone, and playing with Mom and Dad just didn't cut it. We would take turns playing with her on the floor, but we could tell she was not as interested in playing with us.
For a while she took a nap with Mom, but after that, she was up looking for her siblings again. She missed her two older sisters closer in age to her(9- and 7- years old) and her immediate older brothers(6- and 5- and 3- year old).
I have said this before, and I will say it again: one of the greatest gifts we have given to our children is the gift of siblings. This is not just with my youngest daughter. I have noticed it with my sons, especially how they will sit back and relax at the end of dinner and just enjoy talking about whatever rather than start cleaning up the dishes. It is heartwarming, and always brings a bit of a lump to my throat as I repeatedly tell them to get a move on and clean up the kitchen.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Feeling the need for a prayer? My friend the Roman Sacristan has a great one for this season of materialisticism. He just broke 6,000 hits - congratulations!
I just broke 2,000 - someone from Portugal was randomly skating along when he landed on my blog. He or she will have a shopping cart to fill with all the items he or she can collect in 5 minutes in the Gift Shop - when he or she appears at the home of the Scorpion Stalking Duck Blogsite to claim the prize.
He or she has twenty more minutes.
Tomorrow some of the boys and I have to cut some grass. We took pictures last time:
Friday, November 24, 2006
Late Thanksgiving Day Wishes
The Scorpions wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, but they were late.
They are especially thankful for a working microwave oven, so that they can make a delicacy they like to call Gummi Bear Soup:
Recipe:
Gummi Bears, preferably genuine Haribo - accept no substitute!
Microwave-safe plate
1. Place Gummi Bears strategically around the edge of the plate.
2. Be creative with a pattern of Gummi Bears on the inside of the plate.
3. Microwave on HIGH for 15 to 45 seconds, or until all gummi bears are melted and fused.
4. Cool for 1 minute.
5. Serve and enjoy!
Happy Holidays, from the Scorpions to Y'ALL!!!
More recipes available at the Gift Shop!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
At the Gift Shop,
Spring is just around the corner!
While most of the world is preparing for a long, cold winter, the Gift Shop is getting ready for Spring! Spring! Spring!
We just got a shipment of picnic cloths, ready for a Sunday afternoon party in the park, a camping trip, or whatever outdoor activity that floats your boat!
These are handmade, 100% cotton, ready to hold whatever goodies you put in your picnic basket.
Imported. Colors available: White, Weiss, Blanc
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
ON SALE AT THE GIFT SHOP THIS WEEK ONLY!
Great for a workout at the gym, or just lounging around on a Sunday morning reading the Sunday comics, you will always look cool and feel comfortable in our 100% Cotton genuine handmade Hankie Sweats.
One size fits most. Hurry, there are only 35 remaining, and they are leaving the store like HOTCAKES!
Monday, November 13, 2006
TICKETS ON SALE ONLY AT THE GIFT SHOP:
Mr. Hedgehog.
Probe the mind of a Rubber Chicken!
Use of the observation Deck is an additional charge.
As beautiful from aft as from astern!
Have a Duck for Dinner!
You catch it or kill it,
I stew it or grill it!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
New in the Gift Shop
In a year where someone decided to trash the World's biggest holiday with some anti-Halloween Blog, we are forced to start the Christmas Season a little early here at the Gift Shop. We are slashing through turkeys to give you this unique Non-denominational Nativity Scene:
What everyone wants this Holiday Season!!
What could inspire more thoughts of the Religious and Devout than a blessed trinity of singers composed of Two Penguins and a Polar Bear?
You will be drawn to thoughts of the divine as the polar bear and penguins regale you with their own versions of the classic Christmas songs, such as 'Rockin' around the Christmas Tree' and many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Due to poor Halloween Sales, we are reducing prices on all our stock, passing the savings on to you, and hoping to stay in business 'til the end of the year. Three thousand of these units are in stock, so you better HURRY!
Monday, October 23, 2006
Check Out What's Now Hot in the Gift Shop:
New gum sold exclusively at the recently renovated Gift Shop:
CHICLETS OF DIVINE MERCY
For those who need a quick burst of Mercy but don't have the time for the whole Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
Not strictly for sale, but these can be had for a donation to the Gift Shop Expansion Fund.
Chiclets! Of Divine Mercy.
Only one color - Royal Purple.
TRY THEM TODAY!
Check out our other item.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
A Little Fun After Sunday Mass
We had planned to bring the Roman Sacristan Board Game, for the children to play at the barbecue after Mass. We were in a rush trying to make it, and I forgot it. Mea Culpa. Hopefully next week. The children played chess instead.
Since we had all the necessary 'pieces,' some of us adults attempted a round of the 'Live' version of the Roman Sacristan Game.
Roman Sacristan stares down three determined players
Sadly, the game was rained out.
dadwithnoisykids
Since we had all the necessary 'pieces,' some of us adults attempted a round of the 'Live' version of the Roman Sacristan Game.
Roman Sacristan stares down three determined players
Sadly, the game was rained out.
dadwithnoisykids
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Check Out What's Hot in the Gift Shop:
SSD/MetaltrAch, Inc. presents the
The Roman Sacristan Game
From 2 to 92 years!
From 2 to 6 players!
Roll your vehicle and strike the Sacristan figure!
The first to complete a 'Novena' of Sacristan Strikes wins!
Fun for the Whole Family!!!
Comes with a selection of vehicles suitable for various states in life!
!!!!!!!
Without Ecclesiastical Approval
SSD/MetaltrAch, Inc. advises all parents to play this game
together as a family, so that topics such as responsible driving
and running over Sacristans can be discussed in a non-threatening
manner that will not adversely affect your child's
self-esteem. And as always, don't drink and drive.
Enough already about the Roman Sacristan? We can only hope!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
The Big Blue Miracle
Almost the Christmas Miracle
Big Blue - site of a miracle?
Mr. Moose, the curator of the van ‘Big Blue,’ reports some strange developments in the week following the unfortunate Sacristan Strike.
Mr. Moose shows where he was sitting when
Roman Sacristan hit the van 'Big Blue'
“We were busy putting the new sticker on the Big Blue,” said Moose, “when one of my assistants noticed a peculiar smell coming from the front right panel of the van. That was the area where the Roman Sacristan struck the front of the van. I was sitting in my usual position, on the right front part of the dashboard, and I saw the whole thing. That had to hurt.”
“It smelled like incense, like something from out of this world,” said Duck.
file photo
When word spread through the neighborhood, folks began to make pilgrimages to see and smell the van that appears to be emanating incense. Incense is used in during various parts of the Mass, but in many parishes, it has disappeared from the church altogether. “My guess is it is some incense that had permeated the Roman Sacristan’s clothing, and rubbed off on the van”
Pilgrims line up to see the mysterious water and examine the incense-bearing van. Some appear to have been overcome by the heat.
A Sacred Spring
Friday morning dawned, with the pilgrims amazed to discover a pool of water underneath the right front corner of the van. When the van was sitting on the concrete with the engine idling, the ‘Big Blue’ began to secrete even more water, which was eagerly collected by the pilgrims.
“It tastes fresh, with a bit of a metallic aftertaste,” said Scorpion, “It eased the pain of my sciatica.”
“It is condensation from the forward air conditioner unit,” responded an indignant dadwithnoisykids, when he was asked about the miraculous spring of water that came forth from his van after striking Roman Sacristan. He pointed out that there was another air conditioning unit located in the left rear corner of the van, which also dripped condensation. “There is nothing miraculous about air conditioners dripping water.”
“And make sure you make it clear in your report that I did not hit Roman Sacristan. I was sitting still when HE struck my van!”
“Right you are, Mr. Dadwithnoisykids,” said Duck, “you can persist in your delusional unbelief.”
“For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. That is what my grandfather always said," added Mr. Moose.
Pilgrims have started to wash in the water collected underneath the ‘Big Blue,’ and miraculous cures are inevitable, according to several visitors who agreed to talk on the condition of anonymity. One bear came here with a serious illness and went home as healthy as a newborn bear cub.
This little pilgrim bathes in the water as others look on, awaiting their turn. Note how clean the water appears.
Before taking a dip in the water, this pilgrim shows a crab that had been bothering him for years. After the bath, the crab was gone.
The Next Lourdes?
So far, the Diocese of Dallas has been silent on this apparition.
“This does not surprise me,” said dadwithnoisykids, “the Church typically spends time observing these kinds of phenomena, until enough information can be gathered. Sometimes it takes years. Usually if the apparition or a phenomenon has a message consistent with the Magisterium, the Church will gently remind the pilgrims that what they are hearing is something the Church has always taught. If the message is not in accordance with Church teaching, the faithful are counseled to avoid the site or messenger. In this case, though, there is no message; just a van dripping condensation from its forward air conditioning unit. There is an abundance of miracles present in our world, such as a God Who became Man, Who died for our salvation, and is truly present in the Blessed Sacrament.” One doesn’t need to surround my van when you can go and spend time in prayer in Church, in front of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.”
“I wish people would spend more time praying for other things, such as a new bishop for the Diocese of Dallas.” Bishop Grahmann of Dallas recently tendered his resignation upon reaching the age of retirement.
For now, dadwithnoisykids has allowed pilgrims to visit and wash in the water, provided they not trample the garden or leave garbage after themselves. While the pilgrims have petitioned to make the van ‘Big Blue’ a permanent site, dadwithnoisykids has indicated that he can not afford a new van at this time.
“We are starting a fund to buy ‘Big Blue,’ and are looking for corporate sponsorship,” stated Mr. Moose. “From now on, I want to go into the church instead of sitting out in the van during Mass.”
Mr. Moose in a contemplative moment
Copyright, SSD/MetaltrAch, 2006
Big Blue - site of a miracle?
Mr. Moose, the curator of the van ‘Big Blue,’ reports some strange developments in the week following the unfortunate Sacristan Strike.
Mr. Moose shows where he was sitting when
Roman Sacristan hit the van 'Big Blue'
“We were busy putting the new sticker on the Big Blue,” said Moose, “when one of my assistants noticed a peculiar smell coming from the front right panel of the van. That was the area where the Roman Sacristan struck the front of the van. I was sitting in my usual position, on the right front part of the dashboard, and I saw the whole thing. That had to hurt.”
“It smelled like incense, like something from out of this world,” said Duck.
file photo
When word spread through the neighborhood, folks began to make pilgrimages to see and smell the van that appears to be emanating incense. Incense is used in during various parts of the Mass, but in many parishes, it has disappeared from the church altogether. “My guess is it is some incense that had permeated the Roman Sacristan’s clothing, and rubbed off on the van”
Pilgrims line up to see the mysterious water and examine the incense-bearing van. Some appear to have been overcome by the heat.
A Sacred Spring
Friday morning dawned, with the pilgrims amazed to discover a pool of water underneath the right front corner of the van. When the van was sitting on the concrete with the engine idling, the ‘Big Blue’ began to secrete even more water, which was eagerly collected by the pilgrims.
“It tastes fresh, with a bit of a metallic aftertaste,” said Scorpion, “It eased the pain of my sciatica.”
“It is condensation from the forward air conditioner unit,” responded an indignant dadwithnoisykids, when he was asked about the miraculous spring of water that came forth from his van after striking Roman Sacristan. He pointed out that there was another air conditioning unit located in the left rear corner of the van, which also dripped condensation. “There is nothing miraculous about air conditioners dripping water.”
“And make sure you make it clear in your report that I did not hit Roman Sacristan. I was sitting still when HE struck my van!”
“Right you are, Mr. Dadwithnoisykids,” said Duck, “you can persist in your delusional unbelief.”
“For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. That is what my grandfather always said," added Mr. Moose.
Pilgrims have started to wash in the water collected underneath the ‘Big Blue,’ and miraculous cures are inevitable, according to several visitors who agreed to talk on the condition of anonymity. One bear came here with a serious illness and went home as healthy as a newborn bear cub.
This little pilgrim bathes in the water as others look on, awaiting their turn. Note how clean the water appears.
Before taking a dip in the water, this pilgrim shows a crab that had been bothering him for years. After the bath, the crab was gone.
The Next Lourdes?
So far, the Diocese of Dallas has been silent on this apparition.
“This does not surprise me,” said dadwithnoisykids, “the Church typically spends time observing these kinds of phenomena, until enough information can be gathered. Sometimes it takes years. Usually if the apparition or a phenomenon has a message consistent with the Magisterium, the Church will gently remind the pilgrims that what they are hearing is something the Church has always taught. If the message is not in accordance with Church teaching, the faithful are counseled to avoid the site or messenger. In this case, though, there is no message; just a van dripping condensation from its forward air conditioning unit. There is an abundance of miracles present in our world, such as a God Who became Man, Who died for our salvation, and is truly present in the Blessed Sacrament.” One doesn’t need to surround my van when you can go and spend time in prayer in Church, in front of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.”
“I wish people would spend more time praying for other things, such as a new bishop for the Diocese of Dallas.” Bishop Grahmann of Dallas recently tendered his resignation upon reaching the age of retirement.
For now, dadwithnoisykids has allowed pilgrims to visit and wash in the water, provided they not trample the garden or leave garbage after themselves. While the pilgrims have petitioned to make the van ‘Big Blue’ a permanent site, dadwithnoisykids has indicated that he can not afford a new van at this time.
“We are starting a fund to buy ‘Big Blue,’ and are looking for corporate sponsorship,” stated Mr. Moose. “From now on, I want to go into the church instead of sitting out in the van during Mass.”
Mr. Moose in a contemplative moment
Copyright, SSD/MetaltrAch, 2006
Coming this Sunday
Morty the Moose, curator of the van 'Big Blue,' which struck the Roman Sacristan just one week ago, talks about how this event has changed his life, and those of so many others in North Texas. A special presentation of SSD News.
Morty the Moose takes a moment to contemplate the changes one day can make in a moose.
Photo by SSD News photographer Hedgehog
Copyright SSD News - A Scorpion Stalking Duck/MetaltrAch, Inc. Company
Morty the Moose takes a moment to contemplate the changes one day can make in a moose.
Photo by SSD News photographer Hedgehog
Copyright SSD News - A Scorpion Stalking Duck/MetaltrAch, Inc. Company
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